intensive therapy program

((((( Kiya ))))) changes~~Yikes!

((((((Kiya))))))

You have done so much hard work during this program. Be proud of yourself.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((( dear Kiya!)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

sometimes words just can't encompass it. I am so sorry, Kiya. Sorry for all the harm done to the little 3 yr old Kiya and in youth and now.

Contacting people on a computer may not seem like much but we're real people even if we have odd names like sittingatwatersedge
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Kiya,

I haven't been around much the past few weeks so I haven't been able to give support, but I'm really proud of the hard work you're doing. It sounds like it's been very tough on you, but you are handling it and taking it on directly rather than shying away. That's brave of you. I saw a fair amount of people drop out of day treatment because it was tough to go through. Congrats for sticking with it and doing the work.

At last, some good news: we all talked T in to continuing group She doesn't have the time to still do 3 days a week, and can only commit to one day a week for the next 14 days... then 2 days a week for the 14 after that... and then either she will have "weaned us off" or we'll move in to some different form. Two didn't show up today (and one I really doubt will return), but of the 7 of us there, T took a pole as to how many people want to continue and was surprised to find 100%!!! We're a committed bunch with no lives and no where to go but up. Heh. We NEED her. I think we overwhelmed her, but she seems to love us - she even brought us cookies today =)

Ok - here's my admission (totally unrelated). I slipped up in there by saying "selves" when asked what we all wanted to work on. I said I need to learn to create inner safety for ... my...selves. And one guy raised an eyebrow and said "SELF?" and knowing i slipped i said again ssseeeelllllvvvvveeeezzzz. *silence*. @_@ THen i made a joke and said "Well, I just shared tooooooo much!" Everyone laughed. But no one ran from me or seemed to think me dangerous (tho I'm not sure where the guy went who questioned me...).
Alas, what can "one" do when "one" is already in a "mood" and shows up as one alter's "alterego".

So! I have nothing now until my reg. T on wed... then group on Friday. So I am not as worried now about the bottomless week of endless suffering Besides, I already slipped up, fearing the abyss... but that's in a different forum *sigh*. Meanwhile, we trudge on!

(((((Kiya))))) I'm glad the group T will continue the group for at least a few more weeks. If it is working so well for everyone, why does she want to quit? You mentioned perhaps working with the group T for individual. Are you still considering that?

((((Sunny)))) - it was originally only a 5 week group. Today was the last day but we were all so bummed out! =)
I did talk to her about switching T's and we were going to look into it but with the group continuing, I told her I'd wait.

oh wow Kiya, so happy for you that group will be continuing!

Good for you Kiya...I was so afraid of letting it slip, so to speak, that I had selves as well...but come to find out, most of the group I am in also have selves...so there was not the backlash I was expecting...I'm glad to hear things are going so well for you too...wishing you the best in everything that comes up!

(((((Kiya)))) I am SO incredibly in AWE of you how how you have moved forward and changed. It seems to me like it isnt just a shot in the arm, but a true change of direction for ALL of you and your recovery.

It is GREAT that the group will continue for a little while longer. And, you never know, as it continues, the T might find a way to continue further. And I want to support you on seeing this T individually if you can. WOW! I know the change would be hard but you know where your T stands. And this can only be something positive.

About letting the selves thing slip....I also think this was a GREAT thing, too. You know that you are there to be Kiya and to help Kiya....all of Kiya...to recover. On some level, do you feel a bit of relief that you can truly be yourself and allow the group membes (7 is a good number!) to "see" you. How can you be in group long term and not truly be yourself? That when the group knows you and what you have to deal with, they can interact with the "real" Kiya. And they can help you from there. Those members are not there in this group because they dont have serious issues, they do. I LOVE that you had this "slip" and now the cat is out of the bag! Keep lettin' those cats out!

I am SOOOOO proud of you!

Oh good Jewels! That has got to be hugely supportive. And you know, I am remembering now that the oldest gal in our group was nodding like "more than mere understanding" nod... and I know i swapped again when one guy asked about the "arm warmers" i was wearing (covering the SI) and we pulled in -away- 2 or 3 people sort of backed me up just by their presence and one gal near my age said something like "as we all gather protectively around kiya".

=) I hope so, blue!! I hope it will continue - or morph into Group 2.0
There's so much everyon wants to work on - I quipped that group is going to go on a looooooooooong time!
I may still start feeling out if my T would be with my changing to group t. Every now and again we do good work - but the rest of the time, it feels like backward steps.

OMG funny you shoud say "cats" because yesterday we were all making little cat hisses and cat claws indicating people's tempers... esp with out goth gurl out in front there was a lot of that happening both before group and at the end of it. =^..^=
It still leaves me a bit shaky and diss-ed to think about the slip up... but it does still feel supported. The T already knew and would often ask me after group how the littles were fairing. One guy was saying something like my front self not being "fake" (i had used the term facade) -that it was real and was also more like a mask for the rest. which (ok this is hard for me to own) brought about a discussion on how i present myself as an intelligent young woman with many strengths and talents. I think I looked at the floor during this part. the T often comments (she is good at working to build up our ideas of ourselves) that I am strong and seem to be good at asking for/getting needs met... @_@ She also mentioned that it is often hard for people to see that in themselves.
Ok - I'm writing a novel in here... gonna stop =)