so much for the break

((((((((((jexa))))))))))

Just getting caught up. I'm sorry about your grandpa, and sorry things are SO hard right now.

No matter how horrible you feel, remember that feelings ALWAYS change. Let yourself move through this one day at a time - or one minute at a time - as carefully and as slowly and as gently as you need to. Maybe this is a time to let yourself rest a bit. It won't feel this bad forever.

to you.

Thanks for support
no place else to go, stuck in my head
obsessed with the guy, nerves on edge, wires in my brain sparking and snapping, short circuits everywhere, jumping at the feeling of my own clothes on my skin, jumping at nothing
triggers everywhere

want T, wish something could help, too much to take
want the guy to call, want to call, want him, want him, want him, worried sick
worried about every little thing, the news, my sister, my health, when I'll die, grad school, grandpa, grandma, parents, brother, money, the guy the guy the guy (OBSESSION)

feeling guilty, can't afford to fly out for the funeral

bad coping skills here I come
someone take this feeling away

oh jexa
I just got caught up here and read about your grandpa. I'm sorry you're in so much pain right now. Wish I could help, but know I'm thinking of you and you CAN get through this.

((((((((Jexa)))))))

Can you take some deep breaths. Maybe take a look at the coping methods listed under the SI board? When is your next T appointment? If you can I would suggest waiting to call the boy until after you take some more time to process your grandfather's death. Or just call him to let him know what happened and that you are going to get back to him. Take care of yourself!!!


http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=10310

OK, rimshot -- but you don't know how much you remind me of me at ages 12 and 13! Of course for me it was a girl, and grade school instead of grad school.

I'll have to think awhile about whether there was anything anyone could have told me when I was in that place, that would've helped. Hopefully you're in better shape now than I was then.

Sounds like you need to ground yourself Jexa. You are panicking worrying about the future. Life is lived in the present, not in the future. Ground yourself in today, in what is real today.

(((((Jexa))))),

I'm so sorry about your grandpa. I read the first part of your thread but I didn't read about your grandpa until just now. Just take 1 day at a time, even 1 minute. I'm sorry your T can't be there for you right now either. You'll get through this, but I wish you brighter times ahead.

Went to T.
T is worried
back to basics

BASICS!

remembering to eat
getting out of the apartment
taking care of myself
distraction
grounding
I've begun another bad bout of OCD
as bad as the beginning
as if all this therapy was for nothing at all
and T is leaving in July
help!
losing my mind

((((((Jexa))))))

It will be okay. Stress makes all of these things worse. And you have had a lot of stress lately. I know it is scary to think that your T is going to be gone for July, but think about the current. T will be here with you throughout June to help you get balanced again. My old pdoc used to always get on me about worrying about the future and would tell me that doing it would just make my anxiety worse. I needed to focus on the present and let the future take care of itself. So remember that you have another four weeks before your T goes on vacation. And you will be able to work with her during that time to get everything back on control. Could you possibly see her more than once a week right now?

While it may seem like your T has not helped because your OCD symptoms are flaring, think about all the skills you have learned to help deal with them. Can you put those skills into practice to help reduce them. It sounds like your T has you started on that track with making sure you are taking care of the basics. For without the basics, you can't take care of anything else. Sometimes we need to return to basics to help steady ourselves.

Please take care of yourself.

Jexa, I just know that you know that all this therapy wasn't for nothing!