T operation was this past friday...

**trigger for T illness**

So my T had an operation involving his midsection this past Friday...I normally see him on Monday, but we had scheduled (way in advance) my appt. on Tuesday of this week just in case he had not recuperated enough by today.

Then when I saw him last Thursday (I see him twice a week) he was annoyed because he had just found out the operation might be more invasive than originally planned and that he might be in more pain, too, so he said I "would probably be hearing from him this weekend" re: my appt and that is he was able to drive and was feeling ok, maybe I could come to my regular Monday appt.

So I didn't hear from him this weekend, AND I did not ask him what I was supposed to think if I didn't, but I was pretty logical about it and just assumed he did not know yet.

This morning, however, I was starting to feel stressed and I left him a message at work...he called me back within half an hour and said that he was not there today. I started asking how it went, and found out that he ended up staying at the hospital longer than originally planned, and that he was in a considerable amount of pain, but he was off of the major narcotics because they were causing other side effects (just having a kidney stone recently, I am aware of those ).

Anyway, he said he probably would not be back at work until like the end of the week...and then he said he was really sorry about my appt. I just felt so bad for HIM. I really don't care about my appt. I mean, I want to see him (but later this week is ok), and I told him not to be sorry and just to take care of himself...

I know there are so many instances of us trying to take care of our Ts...it is hard to know when they are in pain, you know?? And honestly, he is not one to self disclose at all. I think I am his only client who knew what he was getting done, and only because I happened to guess what was wrong with him a few months back when he was feeling bad. (He loved that, btw, ha.)

I went for a walk after we got off of the phone because I was trying not to cry. I know he will be ok, but it hurts me to know that he is hurting. I wish it were the end of the week just so he would feel better.

traction, you surely care very deeply for him. I am glad he came through the surgery OK (the anesthesia always scares me a bit when my loved ones have surgeries). It is probably good he is taking more time off than planned--surgery can be so tiring. When he comes back and you have a session, you can express your concern for him and he will probably be very touched. It could be a nice moment... My T has had some physical stuff happen to him and I find such a core of empathy in myself for him when we are back together. As he tells me his story, I have cried--I can't help it, I just feel so connected. He is OK with it. He sees that I care. Traction, it is OK to hurt because he hurts. It is a sign of your closeness and you would probably be that way too with a friend or family member to whom you are very close. It will feel really good for you to be back with him and feel his "aliveness". Hope the days pass quickly.

Sunrise,

Thanks...I don't like the anesthesia either. I already felt really connected to him on Thursday...I have been in therapy since I was a child and I have never known a moment so connected to someone else as I did that day.

We had a "moment" and I got more emotional with this T then I ever have before...he got really emotional and teared up, too. I am still processing that session so it was an odd time in my therapy for me to have to process his surgery/pain associated with it right after that session.

Anyway, feeling odd and sad and want to leave work.