session rescheduled. UGH!

I was all psyched up for my session today, and got an email late last night that my session T needed to reschedule. I could have cried. I really need/want? to see him. It is still up in the air a little whether I'll get in this week or wait until my regular time next week. I put on my brave little solider face and said it was all fine, no big deal - but inside my heart was breaking. It was not an off the cuff reschedule. Something unavoidable came up for him, but it just set off all those abandonment/rejection alarms that just SUCK!

Do you think our Ts know how important our appt. times are to us? How we count the days until the next one? How changing or moving that time impacts us? I'm just blah today. Was really anxious about the session, but wanted to go. Just wanted to go be with me t.

i know it is hard when T just cancel without much notice.i'm sorry and i hope you will get a chance to meet with him before your next appopintment

Doogie,

I think most t's do know how much importance their clients place on their sessions. But sometimes, things come up and it can't be helped. I'm sorry you had to miss your session though. It feels awful when you're all ready and prepared to talk about something, and you need that support, and then you end up having to wait another week! When I've had to miss a session, i sometimes journal about how i'm feeling and what i want to talk to my t about when i see her. If your t allows email, that might be a way you can at least be in brief contact until you have your next session.

doogie, I'm SO sorry. Every week I dread reading my email on therapy day. I panic that she will cancel and I won't be able to handle it. I'm lucky it hasn't happened so far.

I think Ts must have some idea how much we depend on them and how important our sessions are. My heart would be breaking too. What I think helps a little is if you share that feeling with your T. We shouldn't have to put on a brave front. We have to be understanding when something comes up for T(after all, they ARE human!) but your feelings about missing a session are important, too.

I hope you can schedule an appointment before next week. I know it's hard if you can't.

UGH!! Ok, I just want to have a tantrum!! Yes, I know that would be SO not helpful at the moment. I KNOW logically that this was an unavoidable cancellation. It's not like he is just off playing golf or something, but I just feel so sad. But then, I feel so mad at myself for even caring. I wish I could be like "ok, big deal - see ya next week." That is how I want to feel. I don't like feeling so needy and attached and dependent. I don't like it at all! YUCK YUCK YUCK!

It's okay to feel all of it
To feel understanding that T had an unavoidable situation come up and that you like that he's taking care of him.
And that you are feeling hurt and unimportant and neglected.

It all matters. It's all valid and important!

But I don't want to feel it. It hurts. It makes me feel a little crazy. It makes me feel out of control. *****trigger for SI***** Ironic thing is, we were going to talk today about my SI and all that. Of course, what do I want to do now?? Do something that hurts on the outside. I don't like this hurting on the inside. I've always been able to "stuff" all my feelings way down deep and just ignore them. Regular feelings, the feelings about the CSA - everything. But now, that just doesn't work anymore. I don't want to feel it. I'm not strong enough.

(((( doogie ))))))

You are much stronger than you realize or feel. Big safe hugs to you!!! I am sorry you hurt right now.

It does hurt, a lot. And I'm sorry that you're hurting right now. My therapist has emailed to cancel a few hours before my session on several occasions, and I *have* cried as a result. Please try to take care.

I'm just whining. WHINE WHINE WHINE!! Can I do that here? Still haven't heard back about my reschedule. tomorrow? Friday? Next week? Never? Makes me feel unimportant, though I know that isn't the case. He is dealing with his issue. Taking care of his stuff. I know that in my mind, but I can't feel it. I hate it!

I understand!!!! Cry and whine all you want here. You want your session and your T. It's not fair!!! I know just how you feel.

I'm so sorry that you session is rescheduled. I think they do know how important our scheduled time is. My T has to reschedule one of appointments a couple weeks out because her child has a parent/teacher thing. She was so sorry that she had to reschedule and told me she knew how important it was to keep my time, my time. So I do think they know. I hope you are able to see your T this week.