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#51
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I think it is totally okay if you call your T. Remember, she said if you think about calling her, to call.
You don't need our permission to call your T. Take care of yourself. Do what you need to do to do that. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() zooropa
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#52
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I guess the bad thing about calling her is taking the chance she won't call back and what that would do to me emotionally at this point. Kind of a catch-22, actually. I may just get drunk and go to bed instead.
__________________
She left pieces of her life behind her everywhere she went.
"It's easier to feel the sunlight without them," she said. ~Brian Andreas |
#53
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((((((((((zoo))))))))))))
![]() I think it would be FINE to call T, but I understand the catch-22 here. I don't think drinking will quench the thirst though.
__________________
He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. |
![]() zooropa
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#54
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(((((((((((Zoo))))))))))
I don't think getting drunk is a good thing. Please be gentle with yourself. You deserve caring and support. |
![]() zooropa
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#55
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(((((Zoo)))))) I hope you used your good coping skills and were able to get to sleep last night. If you did use any escape tricks instead (that is what I call my drinking issue when I do it), I hope you can wake up this AM and feel the new day that is all yours sitting like a present just for you. And I hope today is a good day for you!
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![]() zooropa
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#56
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yeah, I called her. No, she didn't call me back.
Screw it. I'm going to school. Argh.
__________________
She left pieces of her life behind her everywhere she went.
"It's easier to feel the sunlight without them," she said. ~Brian Andreas |
#57
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((((((((((((((((((zoo)))))))))))))))))))
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![]() zooropa
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#58
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this week has been a roller coaster of emotions, for sure. In case anyone cares anymore, my T did call me this morning and was apologetic about missing my call/msg last night.
I was in class when she called so I didn't get to answer it, and on my way home I had a lot of time to think about whether I wanted to return her call or not. Or rather, I thought about the fact that I most decidedly did NOT want to return her call. And then I thought bout willingness vs willfulness, and how willingness is opening up and willfulness is closing down. I thought about how closing myself off from T would effect me in the long run. Certainly part of me was feeling like this was the last straw, I'm done with T, she let me down AGAIN, all that stuff. And then I thought about how she's never given up on me. How I've asked her point blank to not give up on me and she has assured me many times that she will never give up on me. How many times do we get that in our lives? Is that really a relationship that I want to throw away? The ONE relationship I have where I can be absolutely honest and authentic and be as needy and messy as I need to be? so, then I called her. She said she was on the freeway and had to pull off to take my call, so at the end of our conversation I said "are you leaving town? Why are you on the freeway? Don't tell me you're leaving town." To which she replied, of course: "I'm leaving town." luckily she followed that up by telling me she will have her phone with her and she's going to some boring thingy or other and she said "I will welcome phone calls". I said, "well, you might live to regret saying that but...ok. I guess that's acceptable to me." And we both laughed. ![]()
__________________
She left pieces of her life behind her everywhere she went.
"It's easier to feel the sunlight without them," she said. ~Brian Andreas |
![]() pachyderm, WePow
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#59
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((((((((((((( Zoo )))))))))))))) I am SO PROUD of you !!!!! wow!
That took courage and guts. Way to go! |
![]() zooropa
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#60
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........And then I thought bout willingness vs willfulness, and how willingness is opening up and willfulness is closing down. ..........How I've asked her point blank to not give up on me and she has assured me many times that she will never give up on me. How many times do we get that in our lives?
dear Zoo!!!!! of course we care!!!!! this is wonderful. happy for you and glad that you shared. Make al little room for me on that spot on the path you are standing on....I am there too, today.... thank you. ![]() |
![]() zooropa
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#61
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((((((((((((Zoo))))))))))
Good work. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() zooropa
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