[MissCharlotte]

Last night I was so sick I wound up in the ER. I was released after a few hours. Tonight T and I talked about it and he said that my stomach problems were very typical of a small child. Even though group hasn't started yet, I am already experiencing those raw feelings I felt as a child when I was lost in the group that was my family. I already see how this next level of healing may play out for me but I am so damned scared. T said he would protect me and that I didn't have to worry. He did his best to reassure me.

Along with the stomach problems has come these feelings of pure rage that I felt on the way home from T. These are the feelings of a helpless little girl. I don't have cognitive memories of feeling like this before yet at the same time they are familiar. I told T that I know I should try and stay with these feelings now but that if he felt that way he would try to run from them too. !*#@&#@!#$&&^^^@&#$!)(@#$*!@#()$*

[babymusic]

hi ! horu! hope you're feeling better right now/

((((((((((((((((((Miss)))))))))))))))))))))))

I get little-kid stomach things too. I SO get it.

Try to hang onto the NOW - this group is NOT the place you were lost when you were little. And unlike then, T is here now to protect you.

I hope you feel better, Miss C

[googley]

((((((((((((Miss)))))))))))

I get the stomach thing too. Not so much now, but when I was a kid I would get sick from stress. I hope that the group ends up being healing. Take care of yourself.

[Melbadaze]

Miss C, I dunno what to day, I think I'd be feeling much the same as you now regarding group therapy and having to see with my own eyes my T interacting with others. On one hand I could say, oh what a wonderful chance to work through those old issues, and on the other hand I want to say, don't do it! remain one on one with T and shoot him for not seeing how important and unique the relationship between just you 2 is. Oh I don't think this post has been of much help, just I can feel your distress or more my distress if I were in your position now.

Take care!

[WikidPissah]

I've had stomach issues since I was very little. I vomit almost every morning. It's not an ED or anything. It's all a stress thing. I usually have stomach and intestinal angst right before T each week, and many times I pull over to vomit on the way home from T. I haven't mentioned it to T or to my current pcp. I had some gastric testing about 10 yrs ago at my husbands insistence, and as I thought...no physical issues. Anyways....a few mos. back I was in the er after a few days of massive stomach troubles and severe dehydration and I was rx'd this newer anti-nausea medication. I still have some and it really helps a lot. I need to ask about it at my next physical...I just hope my current pcp doesn't want to do a bunch of testing.

[elliemay]

Unfortunately, those feelings - well you can't run from them, they will continue to catch up. At least that's been my experience.

The group you are about to enter may feel in many ways like the your house with your family, but it isn't because YOU are different. You are no longer that helpless child. You have active agency over what you will and will not tolerate. If you hate the group - don't go. You are the power player now, not them. No one has that power over you anymore.

Yes, your T is there to protect you, but you can protect yourself as well. I think learning to do this is a process. The braver I am, the more confidence I develop, the better able I am to protect myself and open up to the marvelous possibilities of the world, leading to more confidence etc.

But it is a process, and I suspect I have walked a road very similar to you, but maybe a little ahead of you right now. You'll get there. I've definitely learned that the more scared I am, the further down that road I have to go.

Be safe and strong.

[buggedbybugs]

it kind of sounds more physical than mental, in my opinion. could be both, but a check up is definatly in order, id say