Boundaries are getting ripply.

I've been seeing the same therapist for quite a few years and have been through quite a lot with him. At first it felt the typical therapist-client roles I've always had with therapists. But then as time progressed things got off track, I feel. I often feel that his mood will work with mine. If I'm happy he's happy. And that some of his responses to things I say are odd. For example I may mention when he "forced" me to do something (like participate in my recovery) in previous years while I wasn't as healthy. And in response he gets offensive and looks rejected. There's also other things, like the intense silence in our sessions sometimes where I feel like he has something to say, but he doesn't say it. He goes from spending everyday with me to spending none, just like that. I always feel like he wants to "protect" me. Not allowing other mental health providers to have access to me, besides my pdoc. There are times I feel like crap and I try to tell him and he continually tries to convince me otherwise. I've asked for specialized Ts and he's begged me to stay.

I feel really uncomfortable with this and I'm not sure if it's "in my head" or a really strong intuition. I do have a tendency to want to protect myself, so it's possible I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. I just don't want this to get anywhere, where I can't handle it. (Or it's out of my control). Because even though he's helped me a lot, even the best therapists can mess up along the line.

Does anyone have any suggestions for me?

While I see red flags all over your post, this right here is a really clear violation of ethics, regardless of ANYTHING else. We are free to come and go in our therapy, and our therapists are not supposed to pressure us to stay.

In times when I've been in crisis and have wanted to quit therapy, my T has gently said something like "I don't think that would be a good idea right now"...but never pressured me, and I knew that the decision was mine and mine alone.

I was in a "therapeutic" relationship in my late teens where the boundaries basically disappeared and it ended very badly. It was actually the very first issue I had to work on when I started with my current therapist three years ago, and it kept me from seeking help for many, many years.

YOU are in charge of your therapy. If you feel like the boundaries are being blurred, they probably are.

I'm sorry that you are in that situation....it sounds really hard. I wonder if it would help to go to another therapist to describe what is going on? It might help clarify things for you, and help you decide if it's time to move on.

What do you mean by this? (don't answer if you don't want to, of course.) But do you mean "every day" literally? Do you mean that you have a therapy schedule that changes like that?
If you're uncomfortable, you should pay attention to that. Especially if you're uncomfortable and your T somehow won't discuss it with you.

-Far

Treehouse- I'm glad you decided to receive help again. I was beginning to think and question everything I was very, very sick before he worked with me. He offered a lot of guidance and then there's this. I mean so far he hasn't attempted to harm, besides the warning signs I get. But then I get to questioning, would I even know them if he wasn't my therapist in the first place. Part of the reason I worked so well with him and the others didn't was because he was so invested in me. And so relaxed.

Fartraveler- I do have a therapy schedule like that. I guess without being so specific, the setting were in allows for intense therapy. (no it's not inpatient). But it allows for it. One week I'm with him daily and then sudden drop off. And I get so flustered. And people wonder why. And I feel really uncomfortable discussing it with my therapist. I have told him about skipping therapy in the past and he apologizes and says he'll be there for me.

Anytime I see that boundaries are being broken I see tons of red flags. I was in a relationship with my therapist for many years, and I chose to ignore the things that were heading down that slippery slope... like seeing him four-six hours a week, interacting with him on facebook, etc. Now, I'm actually involved in a lawsuit against him because things went too far... unbelievably unethical. So, please if you hearing warning bells going off, do not ignore them.

the tendency towards self-protection is natural and we all have it. i always tell people NOT to ignore their instincts....something feels off to you or you wouldnt be uncomfortable. dont dismiss your feelings about this situation.