[ladyjrnlist]

Anyone have to write letters to people expressing how you feel? You know, the letters you never send? If so, how'd it help you?

[jazzy123456]

it ALWAYS helps me. in fact, i think i need to write one after work. its good for relieving immediate stress...long term, it doesn't help me much but, in the moment, if the person isn't there or your not ready to talk about it, it is very very helpful.

[jilliebeanmn]

I write lots of letters. Some I have read to my therapist, some I write just for me. I can express things I don't feel I can say, or I can express things to people who are no longer in my life (for one reason or another) that I feel I have unresolved issues with.

I find it very therapeutic, even when it's sometimes painful to write.

[darkrunner]

It's always better to get thoughts and feelings out, rather than keeping them in. When you get them out, it makes 'room' for new thoughts and feelings, and you can make progress and grow.

Have you ever written a letter like that?
It might be worth a try, and couldn't hurt!

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by ladyjrnlist

Anyone have to write letters to people expressing how you feel? You know, the letters you never send? If so, how'd it help you?

Yes, I wrote one to a therapist/pdoc/counselor I saw during my first year of college. (It was designed to be written but not sent.) T thought I was having trouble feeling my sadness over his loss with him right there in session, because I had so many good feelings towards him (my current T). Kind of like transference preventing me from mourning a past loss. So he had me write a letter away from his presence, so I could better let the sadness in. This really helped a lot.

[SenatorPenguin8081]

I usually take a day or so after writing a letter or an email so that I can make sure that I don't say things that are... inappropriate. I have ADHD and do a lot of things without thinking about the consequences of them first. I also don't want things to be misconstrued. Typing out my thoughts and experiences and feelings on here, PsychCentral, actually helps me in that regard.

I have written many a letter or lengthy personal email and later thrown them away or greatly redacted them. Sometimes it felt like a waste to for me to take all of that time to write something (because in letters or emails to family or friends it takes much longer for me than it does here on PC) only to throw most or all of it away, but I found it was worth it. On the other hand, you don't want to censor yourself so much that you are leaving important, real things out of the letter. It's a fine line between self-censorship and conveying things, especially emotions and personal thoughts/opinions/desires to people in writing. One thing to remember that things you write down in letters and emails can exist FOREVER, but sometimes you just have to proceed anyway with caution. I'm very careful about revealing things that could possibly come back to hurt me in a letter or email.

I wrote a NOTE to my T once, but not a letter and the note was just about what happened with a psychiatrist who was supposed to refill a medication for me (but he didn't because I ended up walking out of his office because he was unprofessional). I had to let my T know right away because it was related to other issues and time sensitive. That's the only reason why, but I was really angry in the note and it showed. I think it helped me to show him how I really felt at the moment I was feeling it. I don't regret it and yes, it does take courage to do that. It was helpful, and it DID help me to get my needs met, which are important for everyone.

Are you thinking of writing to someone ladyjrnlst?

[ladyjrnlist]

I uncovered two letters I wrote early on in my therapy process and reread them the other day. I'm not sure how they made me feel. My T says to journal, but I don't. For some reason, I have a disdain for writing down my feelings.

[SenatorPenguin8081]

Originally Posted by ladyjrnlist

I uncovered two letters I wrote early on in my therapy process and reread them the other day. I'm not sure how they made me feel. My T says to journal, but I don't. For some reason, I have a disdain for writing down my feelings.

I have a journal that I write in only intermittently. I have a problem conveying emotion in words and I also have a fear of someone else finding it.

I think journaling can be really healthy to work through things, but that's sorta what I use PC for. I don't like journals because in the end I am just writing to myself and get no feedback.