[charmin]

During my latest session I started saying how I have steady job, kids are healthy and happy, get along with wife, I'm physically healthy... I rambled off about 10 more good things and said I realize there are lots of people with larger and more serious problems than I have. After doing this I felt like a whimp and I have no business asking for any kind of stress/depression help. It turned out to be a good and useful session but sometimes I feel I have no business feeling the way I do...anyone know what I mean or where I'm going with this one??

From the outside looking in my life looks pretty wonderful yet in my own head I just don't have those 'feel good' thoughts I think I should.

[WikidPissah]

Depression and stress aren't always about your exterior life, quite frequently it is more about the interior you. If that is off-center than you have as much right to seek help as the person who's life is a mess. Good for you to be reaching out!

[alcira]

Charmin, I often feel this way. In fact, it comes up often in my sessions. I have this feeling that I shouldn't be there, that my life is good, that I should be able to appreciate what I have, and that I should feel content/happy. Yet the internal turmoil seems like it is never ending.

[rainbow8]

I often feel that way too. I've had and do have a pretty comfortable life, but why am I so miserable?

[sittingatwatersedge]

Yesterday

T: so how was your week?
SAWE: Does anyone ever answer that question with, "fine" ?
T: Well I guess if you went to see yr Dr and he said "how do you feel?" and you said "oh fine, just fine", he would probably say...
SAWE: "So why are you here" -
T: Exactly.

So ...Charmin..... why do you go? Not for any of the good news you listed; there is something else.

[charmin]

Correct, it's what's between the ears that makes me go in, not the external stuff.

[ECHOES]

From the outside looking in my life looks pretty wonderful yet in my own head I just don't have those 'feel good' thoughts I think I should.

Yeah, appearances and the real feelings can be things that don't seem fit. I think there are many who say, I am so fortunate for what I have, yet I am not happy, or that our lives are okay be we want deeper understanding of ourselves and a more meaningful life.

[Omers]

I may be off here but when I get in that space I realize I have been lazy...

I get sad, mad, happy, I grieve... from family and the other things in my life. When there is something going on in my life that causes an emotion I work hard to specifically name that specific emotion. The emotion is a response to something in my life.

Depression itself, for me, isn't about life outside my body. It is a sign that my meds may need changed, that I am not taking care of myself, I am not doing the work I need to be doing... It is, for me, a symptom or a warning and is a part of the work of healing.

I get stuck in places where any "bad" feeling just gets lumped into the word "depression". Depression becomes a catch-all when I am being lazy about my feelings...I'm not doing my work. This sets me up for the "shoulding" myself.

If I work hard at being specific about my emotions then I know that what is around me causes emotions. Depression is a seperate thing. I am less likely to look around and get myself more depressed by "shoulding" myself... I'm not doing good self care whenI am "shoulding".

Just what I have noticed with myself... and not sure I explained it in a way that makes sense.

[with or without you]

Yes, I have done this a lot in therapy as well. My T has told me that while appreciating what you have and being concerned for others is never a bad thing at all, I deserve to have these feelings like everyone else. You can't help what you feel and depression is always a serious problem.

[ladyjrnlist]

Of course our lives for the most part are good. I know that. Still depressed. It's a separate issue. Don't feel guilty--that's the depression talking.

[SenatorPenguin8081]

Originally Posted by charmin

During my latest session I started saying how I have steady job, kids are healthy and happy, get along with wife, I'm physically healthy... I rambled off about 10 more good things and said I realize there are lots of people with larger and more serious problems than I have. After doing this I felt like a whimp and I have no business asking for any kind of stress/depression help. It turned out to be a good and useful session but sometimes I feel I have no business feeling the way I do...anyone know what I mean or where I'm going with this one??

From the outside looking in my life looks pretty wonderful yet in my own head I just don't have those 'feel good' thoughts I think I should.

Yep- that's called guilt and is a common depressive symptom. You deserve just as much help as anyone else. You have to think of it like taking your car in for a tune-up or doing an oil change.

No matter what you think, someone ALWAYS has it worse. Don't judge or compare your problems. Think of them as all problems that just need fixed. No matter how large the hole, it needs repaired. And yeah, I do know what you mean. It took some convincing to get me to a T but I felt better once I did, and from there I learned to stop judging myself.