[The Poet]

The other post about mirroring raised this question...

Should T's mirror anger in response to a client's anger?

[SenatorPenguin8081]

Originally Posted by The Poet

The other post about mirroring raised this question...

Should T's mirror anger in response to a client's anger?

No. Anger should never be directed at the client. The therapist has to be productive and in control in spite of what the client is going through.

[sunrise]

I think they can reflect back the anger in a different way. They can show they heard you and know you are angry, saying something like, "it sounds like you're really angry!" And they can say it emphatically to underscore your heightened passion/emotion.

[SenatorPenguin8081]

Originally Posted by sunrise

I think they can reflect back the anger in a different way. They can show they heard you and know you are angry, saying something like, "it sounds like you're really angry!" And they can say it emphatically to underscore your heightened passion/emotion.

Yeah my T often will empathize with me out loud, and I feel he really truly means it. But that one time I threw my phone on the floor... um yeah I don't want him to "mirror" that T and I don't talk about that anymore
What happens in Fight Club, stays in Fight Club.

[sittingatwatersedge]

maybe the question is too general?

When I am angry about someone's outrageous behavior, T can mirror my anger at the injustice - it's validating, I learn that anger can be an appropriate response at times.

When I am angry with her, she never mirrors, she absorbs it like a sponge - she calls it containing - she knows the anger is not really about her, and after the storm passes she finds a way to remind me of that

When I am angry with myself, she never mirrors; she calls me on it, consistently defending SAWE against self-condemnations.

I was angry yesterday. I actually threw a pad of paper across the room (not at T, he was sitting next to me on the couch). The feelings were just too big. I was overwhelmed.

I was kind of in my own world, but I could hear T next to me saying "you're angry. you're angry at the things that people do to other people" or something like that. Kind of naming my emotions for me, like I do for my kids.

When I've been angry AT T, he's never ever EVER been angry back at me. He has been frustrated, concerned, confused, apologetic, etc...but he always tells me how he's feeling and explains it so I can understand it.

He has been angry FOR me at times when I haven't been angry (yet) myself. He has been angry at the ways people have treated me, and he has said so. It helps me to hear and see his anger, because it shows me that what happened might actually be worthy of anger. It makes a little part of my brain wake up that I've SO shut down. I don't usually get angry (not right away, for sure), but the possibility is suddenly there.