Do therapists really care? (Was: Something is bothering me about PC)

OK. I accept that.

ok, Thank you

It sounds like what you mean by "overly caring" means the T spends sleepless nights thinking about clients? I hope my T does not overly care about me (that sounds kind of dysfunctional, from how you describe it). I don't want my T to lose sleep over me and my concerns (or about his other clients either). VenusH, it was really interesting to me what you wrote about Ts "caring overly for each and every client." A possible corollary to that is that a T would care to the same extent about all his/her clients. (I realize that's not what you said, but it could be a corollary.) I don't believe my T cares to the same extent for all his clients. Do others believe a T cares the same for all his/her clients?

I spend sleepless nights over my close friends and family in the past when they were in some bad situation...

Therapists know how to maintain a healthy separateness from others. Hopefully they help their clients/patients explore separateness so they can also know and accept separateness.

I think probably Ts care to a different extent w/ different clients....and that the sort of relationship/manner of relating they might have with one, they may not have the same with another. I'm not sure I'm so clear, but the way I'm meaning is that because I know each of my 4 kids are different in personality/needs, I deal with each of them differently...a form of discipline that works well with one doesn't with another, for instance. I love them all deeply, and none more than the other, but in a sense, I feel a personal, separate love for each of them that has its own particular identity (not the word I want really but the one I want fails me!). So I'm not saying a T cares more really about one client over another (altho it probably can happen) but that the manner of care is different because the client is different in personality and needs. I'm talking about adaptability/flexibility in a sense too....adapting the care according to client/need.
Personally, I think my T cares a great deal for all her clients, because my perception is that she is simply a warm, caring type....but I don't think the care she gives me is just precisely the same as she gives others. But what matters to me is that she is able to understand what sort of care I need and gives it in the measure I need.
hope this is clearer than it seems to me!

I posted this in another thread, but it really belonged here, so I'm reposting here instead:

There ARE limits in ANY kind of caring relationship. Sometimes I really need my H and he is at work and can't leave. That doesn't mean he doesn't care, not at all. It means that even though he loves me and wants to help me, he can't help me right at the moment - but he will when he can. Sometimes I am at an appointment and one of my boys needs me...he has to wait until I come home. I love my boys more than anything in the WORLD, but sometimes I'm just not available for a little while.

Someone mentioned in another thread that the fact that therapists aren't available after hours means there are limits to paid care. And yes, there are, and there should be. Everyone should have boundaries, and good self-care. In any healthy, caring relationship, there are going to be limits.

My alcoholic mom has needed me to take care of her for my entire life. I spent years - decades - dropping everything, never meeting my own needs or my families needs, making sure that I was always there when she needed me. It was sooooooo unhealthy, and draining, and awful. I don't expect or want (AT ALL) ANY relationship I'm in to be like that - not with my H, not with my kids, not with my friends, not with my mom, not with my T.

Being paid or not paid has nothing to do with it. Caring or not caring has nothing to do with it. The fact is that boundaries and self-care are important in every single relationship we're in, no matter how much love, caring, or money is involved. I trust, completely, that my T cares about me and wants to help me, and I trust, completely, that he will take care of himself, and his family. When he can be there for me, he absolutely is. And when he can't, he can't. Just like my H can't sometimes, or I can't be there for my boys sometimes. That's how relationships work, and it's okay.

I first heard about this , hope to write some experts share their experience
under the.

Yesterday my T said something she has said before, about enjoying working with me....she also said that, no, she doesn't really enjoy all her clients, but qualified that statement by saying that she does have to find something to enjoy about those particular ones so she can be therapeutic! I suppose I mention this because of what was said earlier about Ts not caring for all clients to the same extent.....there it is here in a way, not precisely enjoying working with all clients equally, but finding a way to give the same quality of therapeutic care to all regardless of that.
I'm well aware that the word usage here, caring for vs. enjoying working with a client, could be said to be differing things......but it also seems clear to me that there's a relation. At least it felt that way when I saw this thread updated just now and had fresh in my mind what my T said to me!
Anyway, I'm glad she does enjoy working with me.....because sometimes I feel like I'm challenging and difficult....