YAY! I had a super great session today. I played this ice breaker game with my therapist. I did a mock interview with her. I had some questions that I was curious to know about her: "Why don't you have a picture of your family in your office? What are your children's names? Do you have any pets? What are your pet peeves? Why did you go into this profession? Do I get on your nerves? What would you like to see me do differently in our sessions? What do you like to do in your spare time? What are your goals in life? How would you describe yourself?"

There were more than this, 16 in all. She answered every one of them! It was fun. It made me feel so much more relaxed with her. Now I know that I can ask her just about anything, and as long as it is not inappropriate, she is open to tell me. I guess this means I cannot ask her about her sex life?? I think I am going to do that next time just to see her reaction!

Since the time issue came up last week, I found myself constantly looking at my watch. Making sure I was finished on the hour this time! She kept saying, "We have time.Stop worrying. Keep going." My appointments are at 3:00. We always stay until 4:30. This is when the building closes.

We talked about my progress. I have come a long way since last March. I don't even know what we talked about from March to Dec. My major breakthrough was on Dec. 7th. Yes, that is a day to remember!!

On Dec. 7th I was finally able to cry in front of her. I broke down and told her everything! Well, I wrote it all in a very long letter. She read it out loud to me. I was having a nervous breakdown, but I made it through. SO glad I did that.

She has been reading my journal notes out loud to me for the past 5-6 sessions. The past 2 times, I was able to read them out loud to her. Can we say major victory!!

I am UP today. UP days are wonderful. I cherish my UP days.

**If I mentioned that I played this game last week, I did try to. It was not as great as it was today. I was too upset about her comment to "end therapy on time". Shut down big time last week

[SpiritRunner]

I am so happy for you! Sounds like you have a cool therapist.
And I am impressed with you reading your journal out loud......I haven't even got to the point where I can handle my T reading mine out loud to me.
So yeah, happy dance for you, too!

[rainbow8]

What a great session!!! I'm glad you feel so good and got to ask your T all of those questions and that she answered them!

Originally Posted by poetgirl76

I am so happy for you! Sounds like you have a cool therapist.
And I am impressed with you reading your journal out loud......I haven't even got to the point where I can handle my T reading mine out loud to me.
So yeah, happy dance for you, too!

She is very cool! Since Dec. 7th, I have been taking journal notes to every session. She gives me assignments each week. I start with that, but also write whatever comes to mind. That is scary. My mind is a dangerous place sometimes!!

Allowing her to read them out loud to me was the most freeing experience I have ever had. I was losing it while she read it, so she kept stopping to make sure I was okay, and asked if she could continue. It was a horrible thing to go through at the time, but so worth it in the end.

I asked her if she has ever had a client bring such detailed notes to therapy. She said, "No, you are the first, but that's okay. It helps you stay focused. This is what you need to do. This is how you process your emotions. It is working for you and that's all that matters. Don't keep comparing yourself to everyone else. You are a unique individual that deserves to be heard and to heal in whatever way you need to."

PG~You are such a natural at writing. Do you ever share any of this with your therapist? I can't say what will or won't work for you. Maybe you could try having him/her just read one paragraph out loud to you? There is something validating about having your words read back to you. At least it was for me. I felt like, "Hey, I AM being heard!!"

[WePow]

Great job with working your therapy!!! You DO have a right to your VOICE! Way to go!

[Sannah]

Very good Squiggle!

[WikidPissah]

awesome!!

[peaches100]

Squiggle,

That's AWESOME!!! My t doesn't tell me much about her personal life, but when she does, it really helps me see her as a regular person and puts me at ease.

[ladyjrnlist]

I'm so glad therapy is going good for you. Sounds like your T is a perfect fit for you. Keep up the good work!

[Sweetlove]

That is so great Squiggle! I've been there and those sessions are the best...they make all the other stuff worth it.

Your T sounds pretty great. Sometimes T's are too cookie cutter...their sessions and treatment are the same for every client. It sounds like yours really cares about YOU and what works for you individually. That makes a HUGE difference. I love that she shared so much with you...sometimes T's done't disclose much because they don't want to burden the client, but they just wait to be asked.

I might steal your journal idea. I've been wanting to add something to my sessions, but I was worried the journal would be too premeditated or I wouldn't be able to just go with the flow during sessions.

If you don't mind sharing, whos idea was it for her to read your entries out loud to you? ...does she use your exact words or does she just go over the main ideas?

[SpiritRunner]

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

PG~You are such a natural at writing. Do you ever share any of this with your therapist? I can't say what will or won't work for you. Maybe you could try having him/her just read one paragraph out loud to you? There is something validating about having your words read back to you. At least it was for me. I felt like, "Hey, I AM being heard!!"

Thanks.....I have written tons of stuff for her to read on lots of things, one of my ongoing assignments now is to journal before every session....but if you mean have I discussed the possibility of her reading any of it out loud, no. I thought about it once and before I could even open my mouth, I got shut down by an icy cold wave of dread! I think I would probably cry if I heard my words, particularly the more intense ones, read to me....and while I keep thinking I need to cry, I remain greatly fearful of allowing that to happen....I'm also afraid she will cry, too. This is not a fear of her not being able to handle her or my emotions, because she can do that.....but she is a cry-er sort of person, she has before, and other people's tears are as hard for me to deal with as my own.....so the whole thought of facing such an emotionally intimate situation makes me feel uncomfortable and vulnerable.....Sorry, not intending to hijack! Anyway, I do admire what you are able to do with your T!

Originally Posted by Sweetlove

If you don't mind sharing, whos idea was it for her to read your entries out loud to you? ...does she use your exact words or does she just go over the main ideas?

I started emailing her my thoughts around October. She would read and respond to them online. She may also bring something from them to our next session. She never read anything from them, but may make a reference to something I wrote.

When I wanted to just 'let it all out', I decided to write it down. I told her in an email that I was going to do that and I wanted to read it to her. I asked her if I got too emotional would she finish it for me.

I never even started! I was a nervous wreck, so I asked her to read. I had a copy to follow along with. When I could see that she was fixing to get to a 'touchy' part, I would clutch my pillow and literally face the wall and try to climb in it! My anxiety was through the roof! I thought I was going to pass out.

Yes, she does read my exact words. This is how I wanted it to be.

That was a very, very difficult thing for me to do that day. It was also the best thing I had ever done. We do this every session now, but I normally read. She has a copy and I have one so that we can go back and forth if needed.

I do have parts that I mark for her to read silently so I don't have to hear it. She will usually make a comment about it and we discuss it. We stop and go alot while reading. She or I will pause to talk about something that was brought up in the notes.

Bringing these journal notes help me to stay focused. I am somewhat ADHD and I tend to wander from one topic to another without really getting anything accomplished in our session. I needed a way to help me stay more in the moment. This has worked great for me!

I tend to be the kind that needs to change things up when they get stagnant. We have gone from sitting on the couch, to sitting in the floor, and now we are back on the couch. I brought music for awhile, pillow/blankets, family pictures of my current marriage, as well as some from my previous marriage, pictures of my home, my classroom at school, etc... I feel like this helps us connect better. She has a visual of the things I talk about a lot.

[Sweetlove]

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

Bringing these journal notes help me to stay focused. I am somewhat ADHD and I tend to wander from one topic to another without really getting anything accomplished in our session. I needed a way to help me stay more in the moment. This has worked great for me!

This is my problem...I try to have a mental agenda but I always either forget or get off topic. Then I leave and get so mad and disappoined in myself for forgeting something. I think the notes will really help to keep me on task and "bring me back".

I also love that you have brought in pictures...I'm thinking of doing this because I tend to talk about the same people all the time and I want him to be able to put a face to the name, at least in that session. Good idea!

yeah, i love it when i hear about people having a great session, to me, it is like you get to leave feeling like you are a part of the world.... ((((((((((((((Squiggle))))))))))))) sending safe hugs

Originally Posted by Sweetlove

I also love that you have brought in pictures...I'm thinking of doing this because I tend to talk about the same people all the time and I want him to be able to put a face to the name, at least in that session. Good idea!

One time when I was having a really hard time putting words on paper, I decided to use images/clip art. I put them in chronological order from my first marriage to where I am now.

It was pretty impressive if I do say so myself! My therapist was able to once again 'see' what I was feeling. That was a hard session for me. Some of the images were horrible to look at, but they were true to how I was feeling.

This was a very valuable tool for us to use that day. I was in one of those shut down modes, but wanted her to see/know what had been going on with me the past week. It told a story alright! She saw things about me that I could never have expressed in words.