Rupture

I really liked the email that you got from your T.....but that comes from a warped and biased view because of the emails I've gotten from my T that were not so compassionate. I liked her reassurance about not quitting on you, not wanting you to cancel your session...

I did that once, canceled a session - and T confirmed acknowledgement of my cancellation. Thats it. Done. And then when I did come in, and we talked about it briefly, he asked me if I was expecting him to rescue me.

BUT, I also see where she's not taking any ownership for her "stuff". And I can soooooo relate right.this.very.second to what that feels like. SO frustrating. SO upsetting. I am living it right now. And even though T did admit his part in some things, it feels as though he did so in a matter-of-fact way, without showing any kind of remorse or care about the impact that his actions had. If it was any other person, then it may have been considered normal or acceptable...but he's my T, and yes, I hold him to a different standard. I can't mirror real-life with him at all times - because, as my T, the relationship is terribly unbalanced....

Anyway, I'm glad you got that email from T and that you are taking steps to be prepared for Monday. I'm kinda hoping that you'll go in there and if you see drill-sergeant T, you will tell her that you are not interested in drill-seargent T today and tell her exactly what you need from her. You can do it!!

Your t's email seems to explain things the way they've appeared here. You took a relatively small incident and ran with it, making it into a huge rupture. Time to sit down with your t and sort out why you went into such a panic mode over a misunderstanding.

How are you feeling today, zoo?