T followed me,,,,

(((((((((((((((lovecats)))))))))))))))))

just wanted to give you some hugs. what an incredibly difficult thing to see your rapist on top of being upset already. you sound like you are handling things with strength and bravery.

((((((((PTSD)))))))))))) i agree with what is being said here. i think you pdoc just really cares,,

you asked for support; so sending tons and tons of safe hugs
just keep posting.

ps i don't have ed, but definitely eating disordered.... that is so tough to deal with ... you are not alone

I'm not happy with the fact that she followed you. Just how invested are you in this T? If you are very invested, I would hash it out. I feel like I am going to puke when I am triggered as well. And My T would NEVER say that she would get mad at me.
BUT if you are there because of eating disorder alone, than perhaps I am out of line. It sounds more like your food disorders are more of a symptom of something bigger. Oh and do you have a lot of outings with your T?

Cautious hope- I have been seeing her for almost 8yrs now so I would say that I am fairly invested, and yes I think I will talk to her about it. I agree with what Googley said in that my T would probably been mad at herself, not me. My disordered eating is not the only reason that I see her, you are right. We go on regular outings, yes.

then you know what you need to do. Until then I am sending you prayers and all the good vibes I can muster.

I am wondering why you were seeing your therapist in a cafe type situation. Is that a regular place for you to meet? There may well be a perfectly good explanation for why you see your t there, but meeting a current t in a public place doesn't seem appropriate to me.

The fact that T followed you into the bathroom is a very clear violation of boundaries to me, and I would have been intensely upset and triggered by that. That could be just my stuff coming through (one of my abusers refused to allow me privacy for bathroom functions, so for me this clearly crosses my boundaries). I have to say though I am REALLY surprised that others here do not seem to see your T following you to the bathroom to *listen*(!) as a violation. To me, checking to make sure you are not purging is not reason enough to violate your boundaries, especially since you had told her you didn't want her to follow you. To me, she did NOT have the right to invade your privacy in that manner.
Did it bother you a great deal? I am not getting why others don't see that as a violation.

Luce, I also had a strong reaction to the T wanting to "listen." I was going to ask that question too but when no one else seemed to notice I thought my reaction was unusual. Glad to know I'm really not the only one who thought that was inappropriate.

Luce and PreacherHeckler -It didn't bother me that she wanted to listen, it bothered me that she didn't trust me.

(((((((((((PTSD)))))))))))))

This would bother me too. T trusting me is a big, big deal to me, and it's something I ask him about sometimes. I need to hear that he trusts me.

I hope you will tell just that to T. "It bothered me that you didn't trust me".

to you.

Thanks Treehouse! And yes you are right. I will tell her that when I see her for my appointment on Tuesday if I don't talk to her before then,

I got the impression that this was a therapeutic outing to a cafe as part of the treatment for the eating disorder. I don't think it would be appropriate unless it was for that reason.

PTSD, If you were there for that kind of specific exposure type situation, it is easy to see why your therapist would be concerned that you would go purge. Especially since you first mentioned that you felt like puking and when your therapist said you'd be fine, then you suddenly needed to go pee. I can see why the therapist didnt trust you, even if you did really just intend to pee.

If it was just a casual meeting to meet at a cafe to eat and talk, then that seems inappropriate to me, and pretty outrageous to want to listen to you in the bathroom. Are you telling us everything here?

I would absolutely think of it as a violation for me! I'm quite private and would absolutely hate it. However, my earlier post has only to do with putting forth a reason that the T would do this in ptsd's cse......if it is an exposure type therapy situation for the purpose of working on eating disorder, then the T's behavior is understandable, though it definitely would be uncomfortable and feel like a violation and actually IS a violation under typical circumstances! I'm going to withhold judgment because I don't know the whole picture here though.....
Whatever the full story, I do sympathize with ptsd's discomfort in the situation and feelings of hurt for not being trusted. I do understand that....even tho I think it's possible the T's action wasn't totally unwarranted. So I was sort of looking at it in both lights....

TayQuincy - Yes I have told everything here.

No you haven't. You haven't said why you were in the cafe eating with your therapist. So the context of what you said happened is unclear.

We went there to go get something to eat. We do that fairly regularly. She does this because she knows that I don't usually eat properly on my own.

so do you feel these kind of therapy helps? Or do you feel powerless to leave this kind of therapy and perhaps enter pyschoanalytical where the patient is allow room to e xplore their issues rather then being sort of infantized?

Infantized? that's a little harsh isn't it??

Tell me about it! I have trouble in public restrooms enough as it is (social anxiety) and if I ever knew T was in there......well...

Seriously though, PTSDcats - I think you're handling this best you can, especially since you saw that scumbag in the coffee shop right after all this happened. Talk to T about this the next time you meet with her....but make sure you've already taken care of the bathroom ahead of time!

Thanks With or without you, I definitely will do that. Thanks for your support.

you're welcome! Take care of yourself

she was following you into the toilet wasn't she? Your words, I would find that infantizing..
.that doesn't mean your an infant, but it does sound like your being treated as one...sorry if you think that sounds harsh..I thought her behaviour was harsh, not a post by me

Ok, sorry Melbadaze, I misunderstood. Just to clarify she followed me into the washroom, not into the actual stall. There is no was that I would have allowed her to come into the stall with me!

washroom or stall, its all not very good..but you didn't answer my question in my post, does this sort of therapy help you? Has it helped you? Would you consider looking into analyst?

Well none of this whole washroom fiasco was part of any therapy...
I think she followed me there because she thought I was going to make myself puke. All of out therapy is done in her office. We do psychodynamic therapy and another but I can't remember the name of it. Going and eating is her way of making sure that I am actually eating atleast one decent meal. I don't see why I would need psychoanalytic therapy..

ok thanks for answering, I guess I just find the whole outside the therapy walls a bluring of boundaries..i'm not sure that e xists over here...could be wrong...didn't say you need anaylsts, but personally find that a more rewarding e xpereince then what you have just expereinced..