[Indie'sOK]

Hi all,
I need help tonight, you guys. I know I never come here, so revisiting with a request for support seems selfish, but I didn't know where else to go. This is what's going on...

A couple weeks ago, January 22nd to be exact, I had an appointment with my therapist. I cancelled because I didn't feel good and didn't really want to go anyway. My mother looked for her number but it was lost, so we called the Service she works under and asked them to send her an email explaining the situation. I'm not sure if they even sent it or not. All last week and early this week my dad has called to reschedule the appointment...he's even went to her other job to find out what happened (he's a police officer and she does social work at our local hospital - they've ran into each other before). So yesterday, he again called the Service to ask them if she's been there recently. The receptionist said that she'd sent her emails, text messages, and has called T's cell, but has gotten no answer I was listening to the conversation on my dad's end, and almost instantly, I could feel panic and fear rising up in me. This happened yesterday afternoon, and the time since then has been awful. My mind races with thoughts of the worst possible scenario. "what if something happened to her? What if she's hurt or missing or...god forbid...she's dead?!" I just need to know that she's ok..anything to tell me that she's fine. What if days, weeks go by without so much as a phone call? Even if she is on vacation, wouldn't she have answered her phone??? I've been on this high alert sort of anxiety level for the past day, and I can't shake it. I'll never take her for granted again, I swear. I can't tell you the number of times I've prayed, even before this happened, "please just protect her, just let her be ok". A phone call...SOMETHING...I just want to see her again.

I read this over, and it sounds pathetically frantic and overexaggerated. But there's always the possibility of something happening, right?

[googley]

(((((((((Indie))))))))

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. It must be very scary not knowing what is going on with your T. I hope you hear from her soon. I'm sure everything is okay. Just because that one secretary has not talked to her, does not mean that no one has talked to her. Sometimes communication does not always get to everyone it needs to. I hope you see her soon.

[Indie'sOK]

Thank you Googley...I really hope so too. She means so very much to me, probably too much.

[granite1]

so many big hugs and dont hesitate to sak for suport.can you leave a message on her answering machine.i'm sorry if you can't it must be really scarey and lonely no being able to know she is outthare

[Indie'sOK]

Thanks Granite...you know, now that I think about it, I used to have her email address...but even if I did send her a message, it would probably seem intrusive and needy and overexaggerated to her, you know what I mean?

[sugahorse1]

(((Indie))) - I think it would be very appropriate for you to send her a mail - just mention you have been trying to contact her, and are concerned as you haven't heard from her.

I can only imagine how scary it must be. We really do care for our T's - it's frightening to not know what's going on.
Rest in the fact that people are trying to contact her. Try and distract yourself.

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((Indie))))

So glad you posted and asked for support. I can understand your worry and concern but like others have said there are people trying to contact her. Sometimes when people go on vacation they do not always answer their phones or she could be somewhere she does not get reception.

Know that we are listening and care. Please keep posting, you deserve to be heard and what you feel is important. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

((((((((((((Indie)))))))))))))

You don't sound pathetic at all. I get worried sometimes when my T seems to "disappear" for a weekend. I do think that for me, that's the "transference" part of the relationship...because it feels very real and very young and very scary. The adult part of me "knows" that he's out of town, or busy, or has a family situation he's dealing with, or has the flu, or any number of other things. The young part of me just knows that "he's GONE".

I think sending an e-mail would be fine. Just a "I missed seeing you on the 22nd and I'm having a hard time contacting you now and it's worrying me". It's okay to feel worried.

I hope you hear from her soon.

[WePow]

Indie, it is healthy to bond with T in the way that makes us miss them if they are gone. It would be healthy to send an email to ask "Hey T, I need to know if you are OK? We can't reach you and I am worried for you. Thanks"

[Indie'sOK]

Thank you everybody, I will look in my email contacts to see if I still have her address...

I was thinking about this last night, and I remembered something T said last session. I'd said something, and she repeated it back to me, making whatever thought I'd had seem ridiculous. She said this is called rationalization. I think that's what I need now - somebody to repeat my irrational thoughts back to me to put them in perspective. Basically what I'm thinking is "she hasn't answered her phone or email, so she must be dead." If it was anybody else saying this, it would sound absurd, right?

Thanks for all your support - I'll let you know if I hear anything

[Indie'sOK]

She still hasn't called, or anything
Sorry for bringing this thread back up, but WTF T???????????

If she's decided to drop me, this is a ****ty way to do it.

[WePow]

((((((Indie)))))) Sending tons of hugs!!!!!

[googley]

((((((((Indie))))))))))

I'm sure she isn't dropping you, but I agree that her not getting back to you really sucks. Have you contacted the clinic again?

[Indie'sOK]

Thank you guys Yes I have called the clinic, countless times. For once I'm not exaggerating something - this is what's really going on! Doesn't this sound strange to you?

Am I overreacting?

[googley]

It does sound strange. Can you ask to talk her supervisor at the clinic? She should have someone above her. If not ask to talk to the clinical director of the clinic. That person should be able to give you some type of answer since they should know what is going on with the clinicians working there.

[with or without you]

Indie, I understand this a little...but my story isn't as stressful as yours. Last Thursday night, I had a phone session and I was waiting for T to call. She was over 15 minutes late. I got scared! I started thinking catastrophic things like car accident, heart attack etc. When she finally called, she started with "Hi wowy, I'm sorry I'm late..." and I said, "It's OK, but you scared me! Don't do that." I think she was a little taken aback at my reaction.

[Indie'sOK]

Originally Posted by with or without you

Indie, I understand this a little...but my story isn't as stressful as yours. Last Thursday night, I had a phone session and I was waiting for T to call. She was over 15 minutes late. I got scared! I started thinking catastrophic things like car accident, heart attack etc. When she finally called, she started with "Hi wowy, I'm sorry I'm late..." and I said, "It's OK, but you scared me! Don't do that." I think she was a little taken aback at my reaction.

I know how you felt, WOWY. Even if it was only 15 minutes, your mind still immediately jumps to the worst possible thing, certain that something happened to her...

[rainbow8]

I'm so sorry, Indie. If it were me, I'd keep calling until I found out something! I'd be scared too.

[Indie'sOK]

Thank you bow...I guess if it comes to that point i'll just have to try to forget about her