[jazzy123456]

Who out there constantly awaits there next appointment with glimpses of hope and confidence... and for some reason, the day before or hours before, has a short little melt down... fearful of therapy all of a sudden. Do I find this humorous? Maybe. I just know I'm that type of person, who claims there are times when I feel therapy is what I need and then when its actually time for the appointment I want to bail....

side note:

I have an appointment in the morning.

side note:

I have had high anxiety, more then normal all week
and feel if I don't speak with someone I will burst.

side note:

guessssssss what?!? lol

conclusion:

I want to bail on therapy.

[PTSDlovemycats]

I don't think that this is uncommon. I feel like that sometimes as well. Looking forward to it yet at the same time I want to cancel at the last moment...

[sunrise]

I think that's why a lot of therapists have the rule that you have to pay full fee if you cancel with less than 24 hours notice. They know it's not easy going to therapy and that a lot of people would bail, so they give them some monetary incentive to not cancel at the last moment. I hate to waste my money (and I pay 100% out of pocket), so it is powerful incentive for me.

Last week I had a bright and early Monday morning session. The least thing I wanted to do to start the new week. But it ended up being really good. You never know...

Good luck tomorrow, jazzy.

[jazzy123456]

hmmmm interesting... i think i have canceled once or twice last minute and she didn't charge me, i wonder if she would, cuz i told her i may not make it and she told me to give her at least a 24 hour notice if i couldn't idk..i'm a poor college student on a sliding scale anyways, it would be plain bad to charge me... anywho thanks peeps

hopefully mine will be good too sunrise.!

[Melbadaze]

normally when I feel anxiety about upcoming session its not based in the present, something underlying is nagging at me but unable to pin point...sometimes it can be that I fear not getting what I need, which can be different hings or I feel so aware of wanting to be taken care of that shame fills me with dread...then theres the reality, I am in therapy and can discuss this with T like 2 adults, but man oh man trying to remain in reality can be a struggle..but I've never not gone.

[WePow]

If you want to bail, you NEED to go.

[PTSDlovemycats]

Originally Posted by WePow

If you want to bail, you NEED to go.

WELL SAID WePow! Thanks you just solved my dilemma about going to my appointment this week to see my T. Thanks WePow

Originally Posted by jazzy123456

Who out there constantly awaits there next appointment with glimpses of hope and confidence... and for some reason, the day before or hours before, has a short little melt down... fearful of therapy all of a sudden.

I do this EVERY time. Anxiously awaiting the session, yet within hours of my appointment, I am scared to death! The panic starts as soon as I begin to walk up the stairs to her office.

When I go in and sit on the couch, they eye aerobics begin. What are eye aerobics? When you do everything you can NOT to look your therapist in the eye. Look at walls, the floor, out the window, the ceiling, etc......We kinda make a joke of it now. I tell her, "Okay, I am going to look at you now." It sounds ridiculous, but I really do have to force myself to look at her when we start our session.

I am not sure why the anxiety is so high before an appointment. I wish I knew how to stop it! I have been going almost a year now. I feel like I should be past this.

[sugahorse1]

WePow hit the nail on the head (It's easier said than done!).

I go through very similar emotions to what you have just described

[rainbow8]

jazzy, are you seeing your old T or someone new at school? Good luck in either case! I assume it's your same T or you would have been even more scared!

I'm always extremely anxious before my session, but I've never wanted to skip a session. I like therapy too much for that. As you see, it's pretty normal, though.

[SpiritRunner]

Yep, I have felt this many times! I've never canceled tho, because I knew that I needed to go and I would feel better for having gone and faced whatever I was fearing or anxious about instead of staying stuck in it......the way out of fear is through it!

[Sweetlove]

Yes, I go through this EVERY time! I count the days to my next session, then around an hour before I go, I start to panic, my heart starts to race and sometimes I get nauseous. When I'm in the waiting room, I actually dread him coming out to get me...the longer I wait, the more anxious I become. Then I forget everything I wanted to talk about!

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

I do this EVERY time. Anxiously awaiting the session, yet within hours of my appointment, I am scared to death! The panic starts as soon as I begin to walk up the stairs to her office.[...]I am not sure why the anxiety is so high before an appointment. I wish I knew how to stop it! I have been going almost a year now. I feel like I should be past this.

I do the same, after 3+ yrs. I have decided to just endure it - and refuse myself the "you should be past it" message. Hey, if I cancelled every time I panicked, I would have ended long ago.

I opened PC this morning and I saw
panicking...
should I go back...
nervous...
wanting to cancel...
and at least three other threads which are variations on the same theme. My conclusion:
It is perfectly normal to feel these things.
Let's face it, revealing secrets one longs to keep hidden, showing the bleeding and infected wounds that refuse to heal; lowering defenses and taking yet another risk... the feeling of being examined in a spotlight... none of this is FUN.
Of course there is anxiety. hang on folks, there is healing out there. I am banking on it.

[PTSDlovemycats]

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

I do the same, after 3+ yrs. I have decided to just endure it - and refuse myself the "you should be past it" message. Hey, if I cancelled every time I panicked, I would have ended long ago.

I opened PC this morning and I saw
panicking...
should I go back...
nervous...
wanting to cancel...
and at least three other threads which are variations on the same theme. My conclusion:
It is perfectly normal to feel these things.
Let's face it, revealing secrets one longs to keep hidden, showing the bleeding and infected wounds that refuse to heal; lowering defenses and taking yet another risk... the feeling of being examined in a spotlight... none of this is FUN.
Of course there is anxiety. hang on folks, there is healing out there. I am banking on it.

Thanks for this! I think it helps to see that so many of us feel the same way about this, Good luck to everyone this week!

[jazzy123456]

I am absolutely thrilled to read through the comments on this thread. (((((HUGS!)))))
Yes, it seems it is still true that at many times people are more alike then they are different ... that we all struggle with this, must be a normal reaction to all of the pain we have for sure, if we all share it in common, and the simplest way to put it is...like WePow said, when we want to bail thats probably when we shouldn't... will come out stronger on the other side I hope and good luck to all of you as you go to your appointments... i hope a lot of the anxiety clears up as I know how this feels...

btw, my session went pretty well today, I still have anxiety but, hey' I had it at a much higher level before I went....
and yes, this is still my Old T. The one I have been with for over a year.
I still remain terrified of making an appointment with a school counselor.....
of course, I will probably cave and do it one of these days,
as my current counselor charges and is farther from the university!

[PTSDlovemycats]

Good for you Jazzy!!