[rainbow8]

I don't know if this is going to come out right, but here's what I want to say. When I post about my sessions, and how open I am with my T, and so on, people tell me how brave I am. I'm afraid that you will get the wrong idea. My issues are so insignificant compared to most of you that I feel guilty for writing about them and for getting support.

My T told me that the things I'm ashamed about are normal. I don't have a history of abuse to process, so I don't feel very brave at all. When I read your stories, I feel such admiration for all of you survivors of such horrendous situations in your past. I know that for you to tell your stories to your T and process trauma is amazingly difficult work. My work pales in comparison.

I just don't want anyone to feel bad because I can seemingly do this hard work and maybe you can't. I know I have my particular issues that are hard for me, like my attachment to my T, and that's why I post here. I hope that is reason enough. I don't want to come across as being better than anyone, either. I feel like I don't deserve all the praise I've been getting.

[SpiritRunner]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I don't know if this is going to come out right, but here's what I want to say. When I post about my sessions, and how open I am with my T, and so on, people tell me how brave I am. I'm afraid that you will get the wrong idea. My issues are so insignificant compared to most of you that I feel guilty for writing about them and for getting support.

My T told me that the things I'm ashamed about are normal. I don't have a history of abuse to process, so I don't feel very brave at all. When I read your stories, I feel such admiration for all of you survivors of such horrendous situations in your past. I know that for you to tell your stories to your T and process trauma is amazingly difficult work. My work pales in comparison.

I just don't want anyone to feel bad because I can seemingly do this hard work and maybe you can't. I know I have my particular issues that are hard for me, like my attachment to my T, and that's why I post here. I hope that is reason enough. I don't want to come across as being better than anyone, either. I feel like I don't deserve all the praise I've been getting.

No apology needed, rainbow. We all have our own stuff, our own stories, our own pain and there's no need to compare. Your story, your stuff, your pain is just as significant and real to you as mine is to me, or anyone else's is to them. We can always find someone whose pain is greater or whose suffering seems to have been deeper than ours, and we may be right, but it doesn't mean ours is any less meaningful or valid to us. My T tells me this often, because I too feel as though I have suffered so little really.....and have little claim to sympathy or valid right to tears and pain.
You have been working hard and you do deserve praise for that, for your willingness to see yourself more truly and to work on growing and changing for the better!

[cautious hope]

Rainbow, whenever I think my problems aren't "bad enough" it's a sign of denial. I think it could be the same for you. Your pain is authentic, I can feel it in your posts. I welcome the chance all of you here provide to me by being there to reach out to.
Anyone who suffers deserves kudos for carrying on and fighting the good fight. Sometimes survival is minute to minute. You're still here and IT IS testament to your strengths. SO THERE!

[cautious hope]

Originally Posted by poetgirl76

No apology needed, rainbow. We all have our own stuff, our own stories, our own pain and there's no need to compare. Your story, your stuff, your pain is just as significant and real to you as mine is to me, or anyone else's is to them. We can always find someone whose pain is greater or whose suffering seems to have been deeper than ours, and we may be right, but it doesn't mean ours is any less meaningful or valid to us. My T tells me this often, because I too feel as though I have suffered so little really.....and have little claim to sympathy or valid right to tears and pain.
You have been working hard and you do deserve praise for that, for your willingness to see yourself more truly and to work on growing and changing for the better!

It's so odd, how we deny ourselves the compassion that we would freely offer to anyone.

[Sweetlove]

((((((Rainbow))))))

I was just thinking the same thing about myself. I don't have an abusive history, a terrible childhood, or a difficult diagosis. Sometimes I read other's stories on here and feel guilty for being in a place where I can't imagine the turmoil they have been through. I feel like I shouldn't be asking for anything or wanting any sort of praise, compared to what they deserve.

However, I think that a lot of people on here would say that it is about YOUR process and no one process is more important than another. You have expirienced things in a way that no one else has...and you are learning to deal and process it in your own way. I feel like in my 23 years, I have expirienced more than most people my age and my process is about learning how to deal with everything and move in a more healthy, positive direction.

You are going to therapy, for whatever reason, and that deserves praise in itself. No matter what your issues are, they are issues to you. You are brave for knowing they are issues and wanting to worth through them. Therapy is hard work, if it wasn't than the whole world would be doing it (and in my opinion they should).

I love reading what you have to say, and care about your process just as much as anyone else's. Keep posting about ANYTHING you want to share...it IS significant

[SpiritRunner]

Originally Posted by cautious hope

It's so odd, how we deny ourselves the compassion that we would freely offer to anyone.

Yes, I think that's a common thing.....my T said to me once, you have such compassion for others, please have try to have some for yourself, too!

[cautious hope]

If you need us, then we need you.

[with or without you]

Nothing to apologize for. I don't have a history of abuse either, other than my mom's alcoholism in the early 90s. I have crushing anxiety, depression, and grief that I have been struggling to process for over a decade, though.

No one's pain is less than anyone else's. If that makes sense. We all go through different stuff, but we all have pain and pain is pain.

[mixedup_emotions]

((((( Rainbow )))))

To me, it's not about the issues of our past. It's about how brave you are to admit such intimate feelings that you have with your T. Regardless of the actual content, it is HUGE that you are able to be so open and honest with your feelings, ask to get your needs met, take huge huge huge risks....I admire you for that, and I don't want you to minimize that which is what I'm feeling from your post.

Everyone's situations are different. And everyone has their reasons and issues that contribute to what risks they are able and unable to take....and sometimes the small steps to one may be a giant leap for others. That's all part of it. But it doesn't take away AT ALL from the admiration I have for you to be able to do what I feel is UNIMAGINABLE for me.

I am so glad you're here and so glad that you are willing to share so much of your experience, feelings, etc.

((( HUGS )))

[PTSDlovemycats]

[WePow]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

My issues are so insignificant compared to most of you that I feel guilty for writing about them and for getting support.

((((Rainbow))))

1st - you can't compare yourself with anyone else. Period.
You are a YOU. THAT you is a very highly precious part of our world!
That YOU is unlike anyone who ever lived before.
That YOU is unlike anyone who will ever live after you.

2nd - Based on my first point, whatever it is that causes your heart to need help and healing IS valid. Even if those things may be things other people experience. It doesn't matter if it impacts others or not. The bottom line is that if it impacts you, it IS important.

3rd - You DESERVE support here on PC based on number 1 and number 2 points. You don't need to apologize for doing this because using PC as support is very healthy.

That was a very humble thing to say. Giving a heartfelt apology when really it is not necessary, but you felt you needed to do that. This is where a lot of guilt consumes many of us. We feel guilty if we are not messed up enough, or traumatized enough, or abused enough to seek help.

I bring this up often with my therapist. Feeling guilty that I may be taking up her time that she could be giving to someone else who really needed it. Some people think my life as a caregiver must be very difficult to handle. It is. But I find that I constantly tell myself: "This is nothing compared to parents who are dealing with a child who has a brain tumor, or cancer, luekemia, etc..."

I belittle my pain because of comparing it to someone else. Think of this scenario. If you took a group of people who were all experiencing (or had experienced) some kind of trauma (emotional or physical) and had them write down their emotions and how they were feeling, I bet you would get the same responses no matter what the cirumstance was.

Things like: "I am afraid, angry, mad. I feel cheated. I did not deserve this. I am not good enough. I am worried. I fear being abandoned. I don't know what to do. I need help. I can't do this." The list could go on and on.

If you lined up every person in that room, and they held up a card that named why they were in therapy or what they are or have been going through, you would find that the emotions were very much the same for any of those circumstances.

The pain we feel inside is real. Everyone deserves to be healed, no matter how big or small their issues are.

[tarmyg]

Rainbow8-I can relate to what you are saying. I know that our issues are our issues, therefore, they are big. I am glad that you are addressing whatever you need to address. From what I have seen PC makes it apparant that no one's issues are weighted any heavier than anyone elses!

[coconut64]

((((((((rainbow))))))))) No need to apologize, I still think you're brave

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by coconut64

((((((((rainbow))))))))) No need to apologize, I still think you're brave

me too. You already know that