[Can't Stop Crying]

This is so hard to admit, but I really feel safe when I'm with my T. I think that is the only place. I feel so unstable right now, I wish I could go sit in his office and find that safe feeling. I can't believe I let myself get so close to him because now I need him, when you need someone - it gives them power to hurt you. I have always managed to keep my guard up for protection. Well, I let my guard down with him and let him in and trusted him and now I'm dependent on him. I hate myself for letting this happen. I feel so alone. Next appt is not until next Friday - more than a whole week. It's like I want him to fix everything so I feel okay. I don't feel okay. I'm scared and broken and I don't know where all these feelings are coming from. I don't know how I'm going to manage to put on my strong face when my kids wake up. I can't bear for them to see me like this. What is happening to me? Before I could function, now I'm falling apart and I don't know how to fix it by myself.

[Fartraveler]

This all may be a good sign, even though it feels so uncomfortable. The reason I say that is because one of the best predictors of a successful therapy is a strong (healthy) bond between therapist and patient. And if you feel so safe with your T, that is likely a sign of a good therapeutic bond.

Take care,
-Far

[SpiritRunner]

I know it's uncomfortable to be and to feel vulnerable (do I ever!), but it really is OK to feel safe with your T. Feeling safe there is a sign of trust, that you do feel safe to trust your T, and this is good. Maybe try to focus on the feeling of being safe that you have there and hold on to that, let it comfort you.....and let yourself believe that it really is OK to trust your T and have that bond. If you need to, can you call and just touch base, have a bit of contact....since next Friday seems so far away?

[ladyjrnlist]

I went through the same thing. It's actually a good sign that your relationship is moving to a new level. Just let the feelings happen, I know its hard, but it will be worth it in the end.

[tarmyg]

Can't Stop - I am so sorry that you are feeling the way you are..... It is easy to feel your feelings through your words. I am sorry you are hurting. In your reaching out to others and sharing your thoughts, you are helping others, like me, realize that we are not the only ones who are dealing with the frustration, self doubt, and apprehension of opening up to our Ts. It is so scary. Our walls of protection have taken hard work to build and, in my case, have served their purposes well(or what I thought was needed). But, somehow our Ts find a way to knock down that wall in order to show us that we can trust, love, and depend on others.

Thinking about YOU today. Stay in touch!

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by Can't Stop Crying

I can't believe I let myself get so close to him because now I need him, when you need someone - it gives them power to hurt you.

I let my guard down with him and let him in and trusted him and now I'm dependent on him. I hate myself for letting this happen. I feel so alone.

It's like I want him to fix everything so I feel okay.

Before I could function, now I'm falling apart and I don't know how to fix it by myself.

Yes, this is the progression of therapy, just like others have already mentioned. It will get better.

Can you call your T just to talk to him for a few minutes?

[Can't Stop Crying]

left T a VM...still waiting

[WePow]

T is there for you. T is not going anywhere.
T cares for you. T wants to help you grow and be strong.

It is OK to NEED T right now.
It is OK to NEED what you get with T - that feeling of being safe.

You are not alone in feeling these emotions. It is a part of the healing journey.