Lurkers, "Do you feel welcome?"

This is an interesting thread. I have been a member for over a year now...but I guess I haven't used the site regularly enough to feel entirely part of the "group" I do sometimes feel that there is something I'm missing out on....maybe just that I don't know people as well as they seem to know each other. But I am a work in progress...And am still learning to use this site.

Yes!

I take my shoes off, bring my own pillow/blanket, and bring my own CD player and CDs. I sit on the couch, in the chair, and many times we sit in the floor! I did not do this in the beginning. It took awhile to realize that therapy is about me. It is all about me and I can do whatever I need to do when I am in a session. Well, as long as it is safe and not too obnoxious!

Changing things up keeps therapy from getting too mundane.

I "lurked" for a few days, but being in a really bad spot I finally posted. It was good to get it out but I still check in without logging in because I feel that I am too sick and don't want to say anything to bring anyone down because everyone seems to be doing better than I and I don't want to trigger anyone nor bring them down.

Aww, I hope you decide to share more...I understand not wanting to bring others down - but please know that you can gain a lot of support here if you can bring yourself to choose to reach out for it. (( HUGS ))

I recall having a conversation with T one time about the meaning of where people sit, etc. It was very insightful...and where I sit means that I want to be direct, right in front of T. I notice that I sit in the same exact spot each week and even in the same position. T said that the position that I sit indicates how I'm exhausted, holding my head up, in a way that says "just give me some support". Amazing how there's meaning behind it all.

I wonder if sitting in the floor means we are more relaxed? Actually, that is why I started sitting in the floor. Being on the couch seemed very formal to me. It was hindering me at times. I talked with my therapist and told her that sitting in the floor with her made me feel more as an equal with her. She agreed that given the background I have with an overcontrolling ex-husband, it made sense that I needed do that. I was no longer looking 'up' at her. We were more 'eye to eye' on the floor level. This makes it easier for me to talk with her when I come in extremely anxious!

Not really.

I have posted a few things rather than just lurk, though I did lurk for a bit at first. I thought that if I tried to contribute that I might feel more at home or part of this community.
I got a few standard welcomes to my New Member post. And anything else has pretty much went unanswered.
But that is okay. I am used to that type of reaction from people.

Oh no, I know how it feels to think we're being rejected. I have the same fear on PC. But, guess what, I'm seeing that most people really really care and really really hope to connect. Sometimes there are too many posts to be able to respond to. And some posts are not relevant to one's own situation. But, it feels good sometimes to just express ourselves.

Sure, we may have a T and that is wonderful and helpful. But this anonymous forum has been awesomely helpful also. As you can see, people are able to share some of their most difficult problems and they always get understanding from others.

It's scary to post and sometimes there will not be much of a response but even so, I think it's necessary if we hope to take advantage of the help that PC can offer.

So, Hossenfaus - so glad you posted and shared.

i totally agree! great point!

I never went through the New Member forum. Just started posting in Psychotherapy. Maybe you can start sharing with us? Would you be willing to give us a chance?

Would like to say a lot of things, but I think that a loud YES! sums it all up .

How funny- I sit on the floor precisely so I am looking up at her! (My T doesn't join me on the floor- I'm guessing yours does?). Something about being able to feel little with her and to feel that she's looking after me.

I do agree that sitting on the floor is definitely part of being relaxed- broadly, it's feeling able to do what we need to do to be comfortable and work hard.

I'm sorry it has felt like that. I hope you feel able to keep trying. I'll look out for your posts

ROFL...when I read that post I cracked up...no way I am taking my shoes off or sitting on the floor...I guess I am to stiff or something


I have done a lot of study and taken tons of classes on non-verbal communication. I have become quite good at reading peoples emotions by body postures, etc. I read my T a lot...lol.

Oh...back to the question...I jumped right in.

I'm sorry this has been your experience, but I hope you will feel welcome to try posting more! I'll keep an eye out for your posts, too.
I didn't post in the New Member forum either, just went ahead and started posting here!

I would love to sit on the floor (with pillows) with my T. That would be great. I doubt it will ever happen though [yes, I live in California ] It would signify a great advance in comfort level.

Yes, my therapist joins me on the floor. I told her she didn't have to, but she said it was quite comfortable and a change from sitting in the chair all day.

((((((((((((((Hossenfaus))))))))))))

I'm sorry you haven't felt welcome. I hope you will keep posting. When I first came to PC, I replied to a lot of threads, which helped a little.

As for the shoe/floor question - I took off my shoes at my first appointment because my feet never reach the floor in chairs (I'm 5' 2", not THAT short, but still...) so I curl up so I'm more comfortable. I've taken my shoes off in every appointment since

I've actually layed on my tummy on the floor in T's office to draw. I've sat everywhere - all over the floor (with and without T), all over the couch, in the desk chair, in T's chair...I literally almost asked if we could do therapy in the waiting room once when we were the only two people there! lol Comfort is a huge deal to me.

And no, I don't live in CA

I deliberately sat in different places in therapy to get a different viewpoint. My therapists for the most part did not mind. Some did not like it when I sat behind them, or on the floor up against their desk.

Welcome to everyone

The shoe issue.. oy!
I have an anti-foot issue. My T wears open toed sandals or heels and I see her bare feet all the time (in the South=no nylons). So there's that.
Then I decided I might feel more comfortable if I kicked off my shoes. So I did that right after I sat down, then I felt so out of place, I put them right back on again and have never been tempted to kick them off again

I have tried sitting in other spots besides the couch, and sat in one chair several times, but the other didn't feel right so that lasted as long as the kicked off shoes. I like the couch. It has 2 ends and one is farther away from her. I sit at the closer end usually, but head for the further end when something new is coming up.

I dont remember how long I lurked but Im sure I did. I have posted several times and yes I feel welcome. Just wish I felt more comfortable responding to other people posts guess I dont feel I have much to share most times. Yes I feel comfortable most of the time and welcomed. I too dont sign in unless I am posting and I appreciate everyones sharing.

YAY! You did it. See, it wasn't that hard, was it? I look forward to learning more about you. If you have followed any of my threads/posts, you can see that I am all over the place at times. Good days, bad days. I still come in here and share with others and help when I can.

I'm kind of in that process... and I plunge and back out quite frequently

I am hoping that expressing myself will be enough for me if I don't get feedback from people. I guess I am still searching for a place that I can fit in, and actually feel like people really care and aren't just carrying out some charade as it seems most people in my life are doing.
I appreciate your reply to my post, and the encouragement that you offer in it, Suratji. I find it difficult to talk about a lot of things, always have. And I am not even sure that this T and Pdoc will be able to help me as I might not even open up to them, as I have done in the past when around these kind of people. I just don't trust them. But then I guess I don't trust anyone when it comes down to it. Even my wife of 27 years.
Once again. Thanks for taking the time to offer your views and encouragement.