Lurkers, "Do you feel welcome?"

I hope that your current T and Pdoc are able to help you. I know that trust can e a huge issue to deal with. Hope things go well for you!

I am not planing ongoing anywhere just yet. I am a firm believer in giving things a fair chance to see if they fit. If I do get comfortable here I am sure there will be those that wish they hadn't got me started! I have a lot of baggage!

Well I hope you enjoy it here. And don't worry there are a bunch here with a lot of baggage!!

I will keep trying, Squiggle. If I don't I won't make it much longer. I have avoided these problems all of my life and they are literally killing me.
Thanks for your kind words. Peace.

I am sure that a lot of the feelings I am having about my reception are tied directly to my problems or at least amplified by them and I just expect too much from people. I have been searching all of my life for someone that I can really count on no matter what, and I expect that person/s to be totally receptive to my needs. And that just isn't realistic, is it?
Thanks for the reply and looking out.

Thanks for the big hug and the encouragement, Treehouse. *hUgZ*

YAY! Hossenfaus! You talked to us. There are plenty on here that carry LOTS of baggage. I am just plain nuts sometimes and thought PC would get sick to death of my ups and downs. They haven't kick me out of here yet!

Share away, vent away. Now you have us curious!

So glad for your replies and to see you posting more! What you mentioned about having a hard time trusting in another post is definitely something I relate to as well; trust comes hard for me, too. It's hard for me to trust that people really do care and accept and want to help.
And I know too that my perceptions of people's responses to me (here as in real life) so often come from my own emotional perspective and aren't necessarily a true reflection of what others' feelings really are! I can say that PC, posting here, getting other peoples' perspectives and views on things is really helpful to me in getting more insight into myself, my thinking patterns, my emotional reactions....and not just insight, but even help on how to use the insight to change. Also, sometimes it's so reassuring just to know that there are people out there who relate very much to my pain....to just have support and know I'm not alone....that there's love and compassion and understanding here!
I hope you can find these things to be your experience too!

My T hasn't worn shoes the last 3 sessions and OH it feels like she is teasing me! I want SO badly to take my shoes off!!!!!! T has just always felt so prim and proper to me (She would be LHAO to hear that one)

I jumped in, welcome or not with tons of replies. Now I am lurking. Not unlike me to do things backwards. I still feel welcome, have my friends and have my beloved sparing partners... but mostly just reading and trying to keep up lately.
This is the farthest into the winter I have made it in 2 years without landing in the hospital. Years before that I didn't know how to go inpatient so I would just lay in bed. Doing better this year but my brain is mush. most times I can't even really understand a post and I have no attention span to try and figure it out. So... I look for key words from people needing help and reply but mostly lurk.

I feel kinda bad. I used to do searches 2X a day for threads that had no replies. Even if I had nothing to offer I could say hi and get it in the new posts again where I think many of us hang. I haven't been up to doing that lately... my apologies to those feeling ignored.

I feel pretty welcome. I have been a lurker for at least 2 years before I decided to post anything. I have posted a few things. One thing I wrote only 1 person responded to (thanks MUE). I have this issue feeling like I am not important so I was somewhat disappointed but everyone seems friendly enough so I will probably keep posting. Who knows what might happen.

you'll get some more replies and more support and even a few more hugs!

Bounceback, I hope you will keep posting. Sometimes people don't get responses for various reasons which have nothing to do with the poster. I want to wish you a big welcome here and lots of hugs!

Yes, "I" have always felt welcome on PC. Although, as a lurker and participant, I have experienced a different opinion or experience isn't always as welcomed.

In those moments, I recognize it is about my own issues and not someone else's. Unfortunately, my therapy experiences are unlike many on this board. What I have discovered about myself is, when I post a new thread, I need support and encouragement from others.Usually, after I post, I have few responses or a thread appears about being triggered by another thread. I always worry it is mine.

Two weeks ago I wrote something I wanted to post here. I couldn't find the courage to post because it wasn't a positive therapy experience.

I wish I had something really positive to contribute.

Lost - I think sharing is important. Don't worry so much about being positive or not. We're all struggling and even if we can't offer real solutions to others at least we can show them that we care and are listening.

I do feel welcome. I've been lurking for a couple months (just got around to actually registering a week or so ago, trying to motivate myself to start posting), and reading about some of the stuff you guys struggle with that I do as well (for example, attachment to my therapist, SI, anxiety...did I mention attachment to my therapist? ) has honestly made me feel a lot better. I also love how supportive you all are of each other--it is pretty awesome the community you have created here. So thanks from this lurker!

Ok, my favorite posts on here are the darkest gloomiest ones. I know that makes no sense (I also love The Cure ). But I just think that nobody goes into therapy without issues to work on, and when those issues come out... they ARE what therapy is. It can be so cathartic to read about anger, fear, shame, whatnot.

Rupture is part of therapy... and so is repair. So I hope that you do post from now on. I might not reply, but you will be helping ME and other people like me

((((((((((lost))))))))))))

So much of therapy isn't positive. And it's okay to bring that stuff here. I know I do!

I'm sorry you felt scared to post

I'll do my best to stay open here. It takes me time to get to the point that I feel I can trust people. So, don't be too anxious with the curiosity. I am not sure how long it will take me to open up to some of the harder issues for me to deal with/talk about.
Thanks again.

I hope that I can find love, compassion, and understanding here as well, PoetGirl. I feel like an alien trying to talk to my wife about it all. I also feel ashamed as well. And I have hid my real feelings from her for so long that I worry that I won't be able to ever undo what I have done there. She says she wants to understand, and I want to believe her, but I also feel like she is only willing to go so far down the mental health road with me.
I am taking steps to try and work these issues out and live on. There are a lot of things past and present that are making it really difficult though. When I was admitted to the hospital last week for suicidal thoughts the T told my wife to get the gun out of the house. I was not happy about that at all. And that has driven a wedge between us. I feel like she doesn't trust me, but at the same time I think that had it been in the house for me to use I might have used it. So... it just goes to show how much my way of thinking just doesn't fit as well as I would like to think it does.
I am trying hard not to manipulate her into telling me where it is, or trusting me with it again. Because if I go that route, then I make her the "bad-guy" if I use it. And I don't want to do that to her. But I am not sure that would be enough to change my mind when I get really down. So for now I leave that one alone.
I guess I should take this kind of post to another area as it is off topic from the original thread. So I will stop here with this. Thank you again for being so nice.

No hurry at all- we'll be here!

I'm lurking now.

I am mostly a lurker I read often, and post when the posts "strike home," but I'm never really comfortable with it.

Like someone else said, though, I do often think of the people on here, and hope that they're having a good day. I feel like you've all taught me a lot, and have definitely made me feel less alone at times.

I have always felt welcomed here.

at times I feel really welcome then theres times like this sec..I wish I woulda never became a member
diffrent people
diffrent groups
noone is the same and no group will have the same guidelines and exspectations

It appears that some of the lurkers think we have this 'clique' and don't let others in. I haven't been active with PC very long at all. I still consider myself a 'newbie'. I guess with some of you, I think you have been together for a long time. I am still trying to figure out who is who! I have started keeping a notebook by the computer so I can try to keep straight who is who!

If you are a lurker and reading this, I encourage you to join in. I don't always have a lot of positive things to share either. I have many struggles that I post on here. I do at times feel like I give TMI, but I am just being honest. I think raw honesty helps others realize they are not so different and alone.

I always feel different. I worry about what I am doing in therapy. Am I doing it right? Is therapy stupid? Do I really need therapy? Am I going for the wrong reasons? Am I 'sick' enough to go? Am I magnifying my issues just to get attention?

I often feel that since I haven't had any major trauma, I don't belong in the Psychotherapy forum. I am just a wimp and cry baby! My life is great compared to others. Then again, my life is miserable compared to some.

This is all about the journey to healing. We all take different paths, yet our goal is the same. We want to be happy and well. Being on this forum is helping me get there. I say stupid things on here, I regret things I say, I wish I would "SHUT UP" at times (like now), but I have seen where things I post and talk about are not only helping me, but helping others as well.

To sum this up. GET INVOLVED! Nothing is stupid on here. You can't say anything more stupid than the things I have said on here! I guess I am trying to win that prize! If any of you would like to compete with me on this, "I say stupid things and my issues are dumb", you can try to beat me. Just remember, I am VERY competitive!

Well said Squiggle. I also consider myself a newbie as I joined right before Christmas. I have always felt welcome here after posting the first time. I think that everyone has been warm and welcoming towards me.