Frustrated with myself

Hi all... I am so frustrated with myself. I have until wednesday at 9am to get this homework done for therapt and I cant seem to get grounded enough to do it. My therapist aand I went over grounding last appointment and I thought I got it but when I need it most I cant seem to make it work for me. The homwork involves reading this book highlighting what I relate to and how I am feeling. Only one problem when I do disocciate its from feeling more so than anything else. Grrrrrrr!!! I hate when this happens cuz I start stressing out. Ugh! Just needed to vent.

Thanks for venting. Take it slow...read a little then reward yourself with a piece of candy, a text message, whatever, then read a tiny bit more. Break it up so it does not seem so overwhelming!!!!!!!!

Wow, that does sound frustrating.

I find that unless I set a firm date on my calendar to do something, it rarely gets done...and I put it off until the very last minute, which adds so much more stress.

The idea of doing homework for therapy, alone, causes anxiety for me. Good thing my T doesn't have me do homework!!

Is the dissociation a reaction to having to perform for/please your T by doing the assignment? or
A reaction to what you are reading about, an effort to not want to think about those things? or
A reaction to the expectation of looking within? or
A fear of looking within? or....
... in other words, explore the dissociation and learn about that as part of your assignment, too. What's it about? If you can identify it, possibly you can be relieved of it to do the reading and highlighting.

Good questions Echoes!!

my dissociation is in relation to the exploration of feelings. and in this particular case it is the exploration of the feeling I have in regards to what I relate to in the book(the parts I highlight). I dont know how to prevent the dissociating and cant seem to break through it and ground myself after I "leave". Well I guess it is all stuff I need to take to T this week. Maybe I can read and highlight at home and do the how I feel part in T so she can help me recognize it before I am too far gone that it take forever to come back. I dont know just thinking "out loud".