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#1
Mar 14, 2011, 07:42 AM
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I have been with same T for quite some time now. Recently I have been more honest and told her how I feel (suicidal) instead of hiding. Previously, she was more understanding in my ups and downs and waspatie t with phone calls during the struggling stressful situations. However, now that I have said all these stressful situations have made me get to a point of being scared because all I am seeing as an answer to make them end is death, I feel she is pushing me away. She hits the button to dismiss my call to her cell so it doesn't even go to voicemail. She is very very short when do reach her. Last session, she told me she would find me someone else. And it has been planned for an extremely long time that we would continue via phone if my hopes for moving come true, she now says that won't happen. It was her that was the one that has said it would work. Where I was set that it would end if I moved. Last session, I really opened up and this is what I got. Now I want to end it now, so I won't be dealing with losing my friends her and my T at the same time. I don't have a clue as to when a move would happen, as I do not control the timing. Could be weeks or months. So if I keep going in therapy and get to a place that I have been torn apart (which I am at now) and this ends in weeks, how I am or will I recover mentally? How do I r eact to me saying I am suicidal and her just pushing me away? I want help from her to understand why it is that these stresses in my life have gotten me to this point and how do I keep them from getting me here. I want help to believe that one more thing won't push me over the edge. I don't understand if this is a therapeutic approach of hers or what. Sorry this is so unorganized. Thanks
Last edited by Christina86; Mar 14, 2011 at 08:51 AM. Reason: added trigger icon for suicidal feelings |
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#2
Mar 14, 2011, 10:05 AM
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Hi Wantfornot. I am new here and not great at giving advice but this must be very confusing for you. You finally open up to your T and she can not deal with what you told her? It sounds like you have a lot of changes coming up in your life. It would be nice if she could be a constant for you during these changes.
I deal with those type of feelings also, not that I am ready to act on them, but the thoughts do get strong at times. My T wants to know about them because it tells him how badly I am feeling. He does ask that I do the responsible thing, though, and make him aware if my control over those feeling is weakening or I fear I cannot control them or need help controlling them. I have agreed to this. This way I can talk to him about them them without fearing he will have to make a decision as to whether he has to hospitalize me or put me in a more protected setting. I do have to keep my end of the bargain though and be honest with him. Maybe you could talk to her about it in that frame of reference if you feel you have control over those feelings.At least it would be a way of getting it out on the table for discussion about how you feel she is running from you because you brought up those feelings. I don't know if this is of any help to you but it has help me when I have needed to share those feelings. |
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#3
Mar 14, 2011, 05:57 PM
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Have you talked to your T about any of this? It might be really helpful to talk to her about it. A few times I have felt confused or hurt by the things my T said or did, and it ended up that I was reading something totally different into her words and actions than she intended.
Also, it occurred to me that maybe your T doesn't want to continue therapy after you move is because she may feel she can't help you as well over the phone. You should probably ask her about this too, because you have a right to know why she changed her mind. |
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#4
Mar 14, 2011, 06:04 PM
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Quote:
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#5
Mar 14, 2011, 06:13 PM
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Well if she cant deal with your problems, why would you want her as a therapist? I know it might hurt your feelings that she can't handle them, but, see this as an opportunity to find someone who can better help you.
__________________
In depression . . . faith in deliverance, in ultimate restoration, is absent. The pain is unrelenting, and what makes the condition intolerable is the...feeling felt as truth...that no remedy will come -- not in a day, an hour, a month, or a minute. . . . It is hopelessness even more than pain that crushes the soul.-William Styron |
 kitten16
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#6
Mar 15, 2011, 12:12 AM
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TALK.. open up to her and ask her WHY she changed her mind.
__________________
---  A bird doesn't sing because it has all the answers, it sings because it has a song.Maya Angelou. so sing. Jazz, sing. --jazzy123456 ---------------------------- "You're not here merely to make a living. You are here to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, and with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world. You impoverish yourself if you forget this errand." (Woodrow Wilson) 
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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