[Chloe2]

How much time is needed to get better in therapy? Ive recently started. I know its individual but Im having trouble with the idea of going over and over things from my past. It is so disruptive, hard and painful. It also feels helpful, but not always. Im not really clear how the whole process works, I feel sort of clueless.

[Christina86]

Therapy sometimes is helpful, sometimes isn't. How long have you been in therapy for? I've done therapy off and on for about five years with different therapists. I do notice a difference, but it depends a lot on what issues brought you into therapy, how well you get along with the therapist, what type of therapy it is, what your goals are in therapy, and how much personal work you're doing outside of therapy... amongst other things. Sorry, I know this isn't the answer you're looking for.

[online user]

Different therapists use different techniques. Some are more effective than others. A lot depends on you, and how willing you are to work on things. And how many problems you have to work through. Christina86 is right--very hard to tell you, about time. Going through old painful stuff is hard, but it usually gives you a much better perspective about yourself and releases some old hurts and angers and generally makes you feel better after you've gone through it. The first therapist I went to, I saw for about a year and a half. Went for couples counseling to see if we could save my first marriage. The therapist had us go separately and we never did get together--ending up divorcing, which was the best for me. I had put that husband through 1 year of college and 3 of law school and then supported him after that. When we were almost finished with the divorce, I discovered he had been cheating on me the whole time we were married. So I was well rid of him.

The therapist I saw then told me that I had a chance to be truly happy, if I continued with the therapy and worked through all my old issues. It really did make a difference in my life I think. I still get depressed, as I have the genetic predisposition. But I am highly functional and do pretty well with most things in life.

Good luck to you!

[elliemay]

Originally Posted by Chloe2

How much time is needed to get better in therapy? Ive recently started. I know its individual but Im having trouble with the idea of going over and over things from my past. It is so disruptive, hard and painful. It also feels helpful, but not always. Im not really clear how the whole process works, I feel sort of clueless.

If you have any questions, or are feeling clueless about your therapy, you should definitely ask your therapist what is going on and why.

I think the process of therapy should be very transparent, and your therapist's approach should not be a mystery to you.

[Perna]

The process of therapy is like other processes. How long does it take to get an education? Was every day of 4th grade important and helpful to you? Therapy is building something so has to progress but sometimes it is hard to see the specific steps. Repetition is important, just like doing homework in school and doing the same types of math problems over and over for a week or more. But the important leaps of how addition and subtraction (first and second grade) become multiplication and division (third and four grade) and how all that ties into fractions. . . could you have understood/explained that before it happened? Can you really find words to explain it now?

Perhaps a little simpler way of thinking of it: how long does it take a baby to learn to walk? You know crawling and getting those arms and legs coordinated and strong and working together is important and then there is pulling one's self up and standing and getting strong enough legs to support one's weight and learning balance and then trying to walk and falling often on that nice thick diapered bottom At first one thinks it takes a few days or a week for a baby to learn to walk until you realize that a baby is learning to walk from birth to about age three where we still call him a "toddler".

[Sannah]

I did my work in layers it seems. Working on each thing and each layer was very rewarding. I got a lot of relief with each issue that I solved. Once I fixed a few major things my functioning improved so much that the things that I had left were not so vital to fix immediately. For the last several years I've just been working on the icing on the cake. Issues sometimes take a little bit before they come up (or I guess that we become aware of them). I did on and off therapy as issues came up.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by Perna

At first one thinks it takes a few days or a week for a baby to learn to walk until you realize that a baby is learning to walk from birth to about age three where we still call him a "toddler".

great analogy Perna!
Also - we think that it takes a baby this many months to learn to walk - but to the baby, the process seems endless; it has been going on his whole life, till he finally gets it.

[Chloe2]

Thanks everyone for your responses, that was helpful. I think ill bring it up with my t as well.