[jazzy123456]

What do you do when you feel like everything is generally okay and you don't need therapy anymore?

Meaning, we have no specific goals anymore...we're pretty much done with them...

I mean, we never really had any in the first place... I came in severely depressed, there was no time to make goals, only time to figure out how to keep me safe and happy.

so, now what?

I'm not completely happy but, I'm no longer depressed.

I'm sure I can go in there and talk and share my mind but, for what?

Now, I do feel unstable about every 2 weeks if I don't go..
I feel some "need" some "force" pulling me towards making another appointment but,

Secondly, I'm scared because I feel I am running out of money.
I pay out of pocket on a sliding scale but,

I'm so nervous about it, I'd rather go ahead and quit before I run out of money first.

Yes, I feel better when I leave therapy and it keeps me stable but,
without goals, where is it taking me...

Its like I'm on a train and I don't know where I'm going but,
I know how to get there.

Maybe its just time for a reevaluation of therapy, what its going to mean from this point forward...am i ever going to have goals? we've been going with the flow...just trying to get me out of that rut I was in and now that my therapist and I have dug me all the way out, where do I go from here?

[Perna]

Ideally you would talk all this over with your therapist and both of you decide what might be best overall?

For me, therapy was a process (I didn't have any "goals" either) and I kept going until I didn't feel "unstable" at all, knew who I was and how to care for myself, stay/get centered, was good friends with myself. Maybe if you are still asking questions, it's not yet time?

It is scary running out of money. Perhaps you could just take time off, a year (or nine, that's what I did :-) and see what life brings you and how you cope and what goes on and if you feel the need, go back. Going back to therapy is not a negative, a failure as I thought it was (use to have sad dreams in the 9 years in between where I'd "have to" go back to my therapist because I couldn't "make it" on my own :-) but just one tool among many life experiences that can help change us or let us know more of ourselves (school, certain special jobs, marriage, raising kids, etc.).

[Can't Stop Crying]

Could you just gradually decrease your sessions and see how it goes? It might give you an idea of how it would be coping with life without therapy, just a thought

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by jazzy123456

I'm not completely happy but, I'm no longer depressed. I'm sure I can go in there and talk and share my mind but, for what?

I think going to talk and share with the goal of happiness is perfectly fine. You say you aren't depressed anymore, which is great, but something is lacking--something that you define as being "completely happy." Why not work towards that? If you need specific goals to get you there, you can make some. There is more to life than just being "not depressed." How about being joyful, happy, content, growing, developing, etc.? Once my T divided life into 6 different areas and told me we could work in any of those or several of them for me to reach my full potential, grow and develop, be the person I want to be, etc. The areas were things like family, friends, career, creativity, spirituality, health, etc. To start with, I've chosen to devote a lot of energy to developing and growing in the family and career areas. My T helps me with this.

You can also work by yourself on these things if you don't want to continue therapy or if you can't afford it right now. I find it so helpful to have my T's help with these things as he is really an expert on helping people grow in the directions they want and need. Sometimes I feel a little guilty for continuing to go therapy even though I'm not "sick." But our health is a continuum and I am somewhere just past stable/healthy now, and I want to keep moving toward the far, positive end of the spectrum.

Originally Posted by jazzy

am i ever going to have goals?

Do you know what is stopping you from having goals? Maybe you could tell your T you'd like to make some goals for yourself, and he could help you explore what you'd like to focus on?

[granite1]

maybe you could cut your sessions down to once a month.i would def reevaluate and see what direction you want to go in from here with therapy

Originally Posted by jazzy123456

Now, I do feel unstable about every 2 weeks if I don't go..
I feel some "need" some "force" pulling me towards making another appointment

This seems like really important and valuable information. What if you allow yourself to just GO every two weeks, and to have that stability for now while you figure out what happens next??

I think that feeling stable is no small thing. At all. It's important to have the support and coping skills and inner peace that we need to live our life...to not just "get through" the days, or just survive, but to really live and be our best selves.

Would it help to have concrete therapy goals? For now, could a goal be to get to a point where you are comfortable stretching out the time between appointments without losing that stability?

Therapy can be confusing. Maybe you could bring this up with T to see if she has any insight or ideas that will help.

(((((((jazzy)))))))

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by jazzy123456

am i ever going to have goals? we've been going with the flow...just trying to get me out of that rut I was in and now that my therapist and I have dug me all the way out, where do I go from here?

This reminds me of a radio show out of Baltimore a long time ago that I used to listen to. It came from an Episcopal church in downtown. I liked what the pastor said, and even drove to Baltimore one Sunday just to see what he was like. The church "board" outside said the sermon was going to be about "Souls Without Goals". I thought it would be putting such souls down, how everybody should have life goals. The usual church stuff. But no, the minister said he was one of those who had never had big impressive goals! He was a non-conformist, and that is what had appealed to me listening to him on the radio. Really an intelligent and thoughtful man.

Maybe nothing to do with you; it just came to mind.

[jazzy123456]

Thanks for all the input...

I'd like to say that there has been many times I have went to therapy once every two weeks, sometimes, only one time in an entire month, last year I took two months off, we started gradually decreasing them the beginning of this year but, I didn't do well with that... thats the worst thing about sessions, we've never really created any stable schedule but, technically i have to go every two weeks because that is what i can afford... the only time my sessions we're stable was when my parents we're paying and I was going every single week...that was in the very beginning.

[WikidPissah]

Originally Posted by jazzy123456

I'd like to say that there has been many times I have went to therapy once every two weeks, sometimes, only one time in an entire month, last year I took two months off, we started gradually decreasing them the beginning of this year but, I didn't do well with that... thats the worst thing about sessions, we've never really created any stable schedule but, technically i have to go every two weeks because that is what i can afford... the only time my sessions we're stable was when my parents we're paying and I was going every single week...that was in the very beginning.

It doesn't sound like you should cut back in sessions anymore just yet...but you will be able to stop someday, and you will be ok.

[learning1]

It sounds like it would be good if you could keep going for a lot of reasons that people have posted. But being able to pay for it is a separate question. Definitely talk to t about both topics as much as possible. If you need to cut back for financial reasons, just go back whenever you can afford it again in the future.