[Crazydancinggirl87]

she

) Most always 5 or sometimes 10 mins late.

) Her cell phone is on a ringer that when someone calls it interrupts session .

) She acts in family sessions not sure what to do when im highly angry or emotional in family sessions , like she will make a face showing that to my mom during some sessions.

) A lot of the times she makes a lot of claims with my insurance company.

) She does not wear professional clothes at times, kinda like a teenager fashion wanna be .

) Does not really explain things as well treatment wise.

) Believe she is getting her husband who is a psychiatrist to reach out to me because she thinks i would benefit from meeds ,when i refuse to take them.



What should i do ? and is this right what she is doing ?should i change therapist or report her?

[Liam Grey]

I think you should confront her on every of this points. That's your time and you are paying for it, I don't really know what the true ethics says in each of this cases (especialli her trying to persuade you in taking the meds from her husband), but it's not right at all she's treating you like this.

And if after hearing what she have to say about this you are not convinced (or if she keeps on doing this stuff), then I think you should find someone else.

[eskielover]

I think to start with, I would give her your list of things that are bothering you about her.

) Most always 5 or sometimes 10 mins late.

Does she extend your session by the time she is late? In otherwords, does she give you the full amount of time you are paying for even though she is late?....if so, then it much more of an annoyance & something you can talk to her about being a problem with you. I know that I am always running LATE. Can never get anywhere without being 5-10 minutes late (or more sometimes). But I have to admit, it's NOT a good habit to be in & try to make sure when it's critical that I am somewhere ON TIME.

) Her cell phone is on a ringer that when someone calls it interrupts session .

Definitely NOT right....you need to have that list in the beginning of the session & do maybe a check list.....#1 on the checklist....cell phone ringers.....OFF!!!!!

) She acts in family sessions not sure what to do when im highly angry or emotional in family sessions , like she will make a face showing that to my mom during some sessions.

Think I would talk to her about this in one of your private sessions to see what she is really trying to imply to your parents with the face she is making to them. You are entitles to understand what she is saying by her expressions.

) A lot of the times she makes a lot of claims with my insurance company.

Your insurance company or your parents? If it's your parents....they they are responsible for checking out the charges & making sure they are correct. Sometimes it can look like there are a lot of charges when they constantly have to resubmit claims because of problems getting them through the process & it looks like more claims than actually are occurring....but GOOD to check.

) She does not wear professional clothes at times, kinda like a teenager fashion wanna be .

If this is distracting to your therapy then you have a right to mention how you feel about it. Some people are oblivious to how things effect others unless they are told.

) Does not really explain things as well treatment wise.

If you are having a problem understanding what she is saying then it's a good idea to mention it to her that you are having a problem understanding her explanations & that you either need someone who is better at explaining.....Most people are capable of changing their communication skils & expressing ideas in a different way to better explain what they are trying to say.....however, if you don't find that working than this is really the first item that would be good cause to find another T who you can work better with.

) Believe she is getting her husband who is a psychiatrist to reach out to me because she thinks i would benefit from meeds ,when i refuse to take them.

Ok, my psychologist at first kept suggesting that I see a pdoc for possible medications.....but because of all the horrible side effects....NOT an option for me....however it's not an option "just because I don't want to take meds". Many times meds can be a very good thing & if you don't have horrible side effects, then it might be wise to try to find a med that will help you get through this rough time.....not sure how much your mental issues are genetic (inherited), verses situational. Sometimes when we finally work through the situational things that are bothering us, the meds will be no longer necessary.....where if it's something that is a condition inheridate, it's more of a permanent condition that could use meds throughout your life....only a good pdoc could tell on that. I honestly think she is just looking after your best interest when it comes to this point...I would say you are the one who knows your body best, but I'm not sure that satement is true either.

best thing is to work through the issues & communicate with her...you will find that this will really end up being practice for other situations that come up in your life as you get older & learning how to communicate & handle tough situations is just good training for the rest of your life.

[Crazydancinggirl87]

Originally Posted by Liam Grey

I think you should confront her on every of this points. That's your time and you are paying for it, I don't really know what the true ethics says in each of this cases (especialli her trying to persuade you in taking the meds from her husband), but it's not right at all she's treating you like this.

And if after hearing what she have to say about this you are not convinced (or if she keeps on doing this stuff), then I think you should find someone else.

Great advice , reallly helpful.

[Crazydancinggirl87]

Originally Posted by eskielover

I think to start with, I would give her your list of things that are bothering you about her.

Does she extend your session by the time she is late? In otherwords, does she give you the full amount of time you are paying for even though she is late?....if so, then it much more of an annoyance & something you can talk to her about being a problem with you. I know that I am always running LATE. Can never get anywhere without being 5-10 minutes late (or more sometimes). But I have to admit, it's NOT a good habit to be in & try to make sure when it's critical that I am somewhere ON TIME.

Definitely NOT right....you need to have that list in the beginning of the session & do maybe a check list.....#1 on the checklist....cell phone ringers.....OFF!!!!!

Think I would talk to her about this in one of your private sessions to see what she is really trying to imply to your parents with the face she is making to them. You are entitles to understand what she is saying by her expressions.

Your insurance company or your parents? If it's your parents....they they are responsible for checking out the charges & making sure they are correct. Sometimes it can look like there are a lot of charges when they constantly have to resubmit claims because of problems getting them through the process & it looks like more claims than actually are occurring....but GOOD to check.

If this is distracting to your therapy then you have a right to mention how you feel about it. Some people are oblivious to how things effect others unless they are told.

If you are having a problem understanding what she is saying then it's a good idea to mention it to her that you are having a problem understanding her explanations & that you either need someone who is better at explaining.....Most people are capable of changing their communication skils & expressing ideas in a different way to better explain what they are trying to say.....however, if you don't find that working than this is really the first item that would be good cause to find another T who you can work better with.

Ok, my psychologist at first kept suggesting that I see a pdoc for possible medications.....but because of all the horrible side effects....NOT an option for me....however it's not an option "just because I don't want to take meds". Many times meds can be a very good thing & if you don't have horrible side effects, then it might be wise to try to find a med that will help you get through this rough time.....not sure how much your mental issues are genetic (inherited), verses situational. Sometimes when we finally work through the situational things that are bothering us, the meds will be no longer necessary.....where if it's something that is a condition inheridate, it's more of a permanent condition that could use meds throughout your life....only a good pdoc could tell on that. I honestly think she is just looking after your best interest when it comes to this point...I would say you are the one who knows your body best, but I'm not sure that satement is true either.

best thing is to work through the issues & communicate with her...you will find that this will really end up being practice for other situations that come up in your life as you get older & learning how to communicate & handle tough situations is just good training for the rest of your life.

yes i agree with your answers to ,

>no my t does not extend therapy to cover how much she was late
>she my t keeps submitting claims not us.

[dizgirl2011]

Hey,

Your post is really concerning, as it seems like this therapist is, as you say, unprofessional and unethical for a therapist. It may be acceptable to a mental health social worker or something who is out in the community and who is not a trained therapist.

Most always 5 or sometimes 10 mins late- this is not on. Therapists are supposed to be relieable, that is how they build up trust, through consistancy. Always being late can send out a message to clients that they aren't important enough and really she has no excuse whatsoever. It is unethical and harmful to clients. If she cannot make it to her appointments in time then she has to change something about her working day, she cannot impose this inconvience on clients. If your paying then this is even worse, however it is still not right even if your not paying.

Her cell phone is on a ringer that when someone calls it interrupts session - so she is not even fully "with you" in your session if she can be distracted by phonecalls. Therapy is about the therapist being there with you 100% during the time they spend with you. It sounds like she actually answers the phone when it rings, is this right? Either way further disruption to your session after her being late is not appropriate at all.

She acts in family sessions not sure what to do when im highly angry or emotional in family sessions , like she will make a face showing that to my mom during some sessions - I'm not sure I fully understand what you mean here but if you feel she doesn't know what she's doing or putting on an act then this really affects how much your going to have faith in her competency. If she is making faces to your mum this is also totally disrespectful as she is supposed to be there primarily for you, even in family sessions as you are her client so again very unprofessional and unethical.

A lot of the times she makes a lot of claims with my insurance company - What are these claims about? Is she trying to extort money from you or your insurance?

She does not wear professional clothes at times, kinda like a teenager fashion wanna be- Someones dress can impact on their clients e.g being dressed too professionally can be intimidating to some, whilst dressing too casually may cause people to assume the therapist is less professional, even if its not the case. Really the counsellor can wear what they want and if this was the only problem you had with her I wouldnt be worried as casual clothing doesnt mean someone is unethical or unprofessional. However this is an issue for you as you have mentioned it so it is still important.

Does not really explain things as well treatment wise - If you cannot understand her then there is an issue as you arent gaining what you could from therapy. Are you able to ask her to repeat herself? May I also ask if you have seen her qualifications to be a therapist as from what you are saying she seems very poorly trained or very unprofessional to say the least.

Believe she is getting her husband who is a psychiatrist to reach out to me because she thinks i would benefit from meeds ,when i refuse to take them - Completely unethical 100%, especially if her husband is not your psychiatrist? Even so having a therapist and psychiatrist (who are husband and wife) working together on 1 client seems unethical also. Plus the fact that she is getting her husband to "reach out to you" implies she is talking to him about your situation which breaks confidentiality which she could be repremanded for as it completely breaks the ethical code of therapy.


What should i do ? and is this right what she is doing ?should i change therapist or report her?

From what you have said she sounds like someone who is detremental to your health. She doesnt even sound like she is properly trained and if she is then she has obviously decided to discard following the ethical rules. You have a few different options here
1. take these points to the next session and get some straight answers from her. If you are not happy with her reponse, then you can leave.
2. Leave without returning and find a new therapist, however this may leave unfinished bussiness for yourself
3 Ask your family or mum what she thinks of her and tell her how you feel about your therapist
4. Ask to see her qualifications or if you know she is registered with a theraputic association and you have decided to not go back to her then I would definately report her. She seems highly unprofessional and dangerous to vulnerable clients

I am sorry you have had to put up with such behaviour from someone claiming to be a therapist!

I am currently studying counselling which is basically the uk/europe word for therapy and we have spoken a lot about ethics so i am basing my answer on this.

Dizgirl xxx

[Crazydancinggirl87]

Originally Posted by dizgirl2011

Hey,

Your post is really concerning, as it seems like this therapist is, as you say, unprofessional and unethical for a therapist. It may be acceptable to a mental health social worker or something who is out in the community and who is not a trained therapist.

Most always 5 or sometimes 10 mins late- this is not on. Therapists are supposed to be relieable, that is how they build up trust, through consistancy. Always being late can send out a message to clients that they aren't important enough and really she has no excuse whatsoever. It is unethical and harmful to clients. If she cannot make it to her appointments in time then she has to change something about her working day, she cannot impose this inconvience on clients. If your paying then this is even worse, however it is still not right even if your not paying.

Her cell phone is on a ringer that when someone calls it interrupts session - so she is not even fully "with you" in your session if she can be distracted by phonecalls. Therapy is about the therapist being there with you 100% during the time they spend with you. It sounds like she actually answers the phone when it rings, is this right? Either way further disruption to your session after her being late is not appropriate at all.

She acts in family sessions not sure what to do when im highly angry or emotional in family sessions , like she will make a face showing that to my mom during some sessions - I'm not sure I fully understand what you mean here but if you feel she doesn't know what she's doing or putting on an act then this really affects how much your going to have faith in her competency. If she is making faces to your mum this is also totally disrespectful as she is supposed to be there primarily for you, even in family sessions as you are her client so again very unprofessional and unethical.

A lot of the times she makes a lot of claims with my insurance company - What are these claims about? Is she trying to extort money from you or your insurance?

She does not wear professional clothes at times, kinda like a teenager fashion wanna be- Someones dress can impact on their clients e.g being dressed too professionally can be intimidating to some, whilst dressing too casually may cause people to assume the therapist is less professional, even if its not the case. Really the counsellor can wear what they want and if this was the only problem you had with her I wouldnt be worried as casual clothing doesnt mean someone is unethical or unprofessional. However this is an issue for you as you have mentioned it so it is still important.

Does not really explain things as well treatment wise - If you cannot understand her then there is an issue as you arent gaining what you could from therapy. Are you able to ask her to repeat herself? May I also ask if you have seen her qualifications to be a therapist as from what you are saying she seems very poorly trained or very unprofessional to say the least.

Believe she is getting her husband who is a psychiatrist to reach out to me because she thinks i would benefit from meeds ,when i refuse to take them - Completely unethical 100%, especially if her husband is not your psychiatrist? Even so having a therapist and psychiatrist (who are husband and wife) working together on 1 client seems unethical also. Plus the fact that she is getting her husband to "reach out to you" implies she is talking to him about your situation which breaks confidentiality which she could be repremanded for as it completely breaks the ethical code of therapy.


What should i do ? and is this right what she is doing ?should i change therapist or report her?

From what you have said she sounds like someone who is detremental to your health. She doesnt even sound like she is properly trained and if she is then she has obviously decided to discard following the ethical rules. You have a few different options here
1. take these points to the next session and get some straight answers from her. If you are not happy with her reponse, then you can leave.
2. Leave without returning and find a new therapist, however this may leave unfinished bussiness for yourself
3 Ask your family or mum what she thinks of her and tell her how you feel about your therapist
4. Ask to see her qualifications or if you know she is registered with a theraputic association and you have decided to not go back to her then I would definately report her. She seems highly unprofessional and dangerous to vulnerable clients

I am sorry you have had to put up with such behaviour from someone claiming to be a therapist!

I am currently studying counselling which is basically the uk/europe word for therapy and we have spoken a lot about ethics so i am basing my answer on this.

Dizgirl xxx

It sounds like she actually answers the phone when it rings, is this right? >>>>>That is true and right .

but if you feel she doesn't know what she's doing or putting on an act then this really affects how much your going to have faith in her competency. >>>>>>>>Thats what i meant , right on the point .

Are you able to ask her to repeat herself? May I also ask if you have seen her qualifications to be a therapist as from what you are saying she seems very poorly trained or very unprofessional to say the least.>>>>>>>>>>Yes but she does not re explain it well sometimes it shows up as apparent in family sessions where my mom and i are like why would you say that and can you explain it but no real answer really given as to why .its like she bases it on what she thinks and feels and that she cant really apply her training as a therapist at times it seems.And she is a MA,RN,LP and has certification plaques like 2-3 up on her wall above her desk in her office.

if this was the only problem you had with her.>>>>>>>>>Her clothing is not the only problem , but that does not matter as much to ,just sometimes z bother really

especially if her husband is not your psychiatrist?>>>>>>> He used to be my psychiatrist but i stopped seeing him as i refused to take med's , and i gave her permission to talk to him once on my behalf thinking just only when really needed or an emergency to do so , but it seems like she took it to mean to discuss how my progress in therapy is and trying to get him to convince me i need meds as she tried many times to convince me to try the meds again but i refused so its like she is pushing her agenda down my throat and it bugs me .

What are these claims about? Is she trying to extort money from you or your insurance?>>>>>>>>Not sure really why seems like my insurance company is starting to get annoyed by it


oh and sometimes she even if late takes another 5 0r ten mins to settle in and get ready for session or her appointment before me runs overtime , not sure she watches closely the time.



And my mom said >>>>>>>> she seems like the person who is great to talk to ,to talk through your problems but not as a helpful and knowing therapist .

From what you have said she sounds like someone who is detremental to your health. She doesnt even sound like she is properly trained and if she is then she has obviously decided to discard following the ethical rules. You have a few different options here
1. take these points to the next session and get some straight answers from her. If you are not happy with her reponse, then you can leave.
2. Leave without returning and find a new therapist, however this may leave unfinished bussiness for yourself
3 Ask your family or mum what she thinks of her and tell her how you feel about your therapist
4. Ask to see her qualifications or if you know she is registered with a theraputic association and you have decided to not go back to her then I would definately report her. She seems highly unprofessional and dangerous to vulnerable clients
>>>>>>>THANKS for the great advice an help also support really helpful.

[dizgirl2011]

[quote=Crazydancinggirl87;1787309]It sounds like she actually answers the phone when it rings, is this right? >>>>>That is true and right .

She is completely out of order to be interupting your session and answering the phone you have every right to complain!


its like she bases it on what she thinks and feels and that she cant really apply her training as a therapist at times it seems.

As a therapist she shouldnt be making assumptions, its not part of her job and if she does make assumptions she should at least check to see if she is right by asking you if she has understoo correctly!

especially if her husband is not your psychiatrist?>>>>>>> He used to be my psychiatrist but i stopped seeing him as i refused to take med's , and i gave her permission to talk to him once on my behalf thinking just only when really needed or an emergency to do so , but it seems like she took it to mean to discuss how my progress in therapy is and trying to get him to convince me i need meds as she tried many times to convince me to try the meds again but i refused so its like she is pushing her agenda down my throat and it bugs me .

She really is breaking ethical codes here. As you said you gave permission once, that does not mean she can continuously talk about you to him. It is not or her to decide that you have to take meds, she can make a suggestion and tell you why but she should respect your wishes also - she cannot make her clients decisons for them.

I think you have hit the nail on the head by saying "she is pushing her own agenda!!" - totally unethical!


oh and sometimes she even if late takes another 5 0r ten mins to settle in and get ready for session or her appointment before me runs overtime , not sure she watches closely the time.

The thing is- it is her job to watch the time and to show respect to her clients by being on time and ending on time. If she cannot give extra time to you that day then she should make it up by giving an extra 10-15 minutes at the start or end of the following session. I am shocked that she thinks its ok to come late to sessions, take up time answering her phone, perhaps not even start your session for another 5-10 minutes after arriving late and then not to extend your time due to her own fault! I can understand she is busy but to waste your precious time of being in therapy she really needs to get her act together! I would feel very angry, upset, disrespected and belittled by her behaviour from what you describe.

I have 50 minute sessions with my therapist and sometimes that feels like I blink and its over..even when she often goes over time by 10 minutes or so! So I can only imagine how quick your time goes when your therapist is wasting it on you!

And my mom said >>>>>>>> she seems like the person who is great to talk to ,to talk through your problems but not as a helpful and knowing therapist .

So really a friend could do the same job as shes doing for you both at the moment? lol - which isnt how it should be

[jexa]

Dancinggirl, it sounds like she is a problematic therapist on many points. While I would applaud you if you had the courage to face her and tell her each of the things that bother you about her, she doesn't sound like a T who is terribly likely to change.

I have seen a lot of T's in my life.. maybe ten? I am not sure how many since some were when I was a teen. None have ever acted like this. This is very unusual behavior from someone who is supposed to be trained to deal with emotional issues.

If I were you, I wouldn't bother confronting her. I would find a new T.