Do therapists truly care about their clients or do they act like they care?

From the patient's point of view it looks like the T genuinely cares, but if you think about it, if a T genuinely cared about all her patients she would go insane thinking about so many troubled people and wouldn't be able to help anyone. So maybe there is a discrepancy between the amount they actually care and the amount they seem to care. After all, part of their job consists of showing care for their patients. If they don't show care then they are not doing their job right. So imagine if a T gets a patient she doesn't care about. Does she act like she cares or does she refer the patient to somebody else?

I know for a fact that my T genuninely cares about me. She has told me this numerous times and reminded me that she doesn't get paid to care. Ofcourse she cares about some more than others. However I am quite happy knowing that I am one of the ones that she cares a lot about.

Good therapists genuinely care about their clients, because that's our job. We care about helping them help themselves. You can't be in this profession and not care (well, I should say, they shouldn't be in the profession if they don't care about people) Sure, there's clients that are harder to *LIKE* than others. But that doesn't mean that the T does not care. If there's a client that the T can't move past not liking, and it's getting in the way of therapeutic work, yes, mostly likely they are referred because that would be damaging to the client. As cats said, T's aren't paid to care, but we do.

That's a topic about I always think a lot about.

I guess it probably varies from T to T. But a professional, good one will probably pretend that he/she cares, if he/she thinks she can cure the patient.

I'm not so sure if mine cares or not. Sometimes in the past she did looked like she genuinely cared. Nowadays I think she was/is doing her job and just acting like.

I like to think that my T cares about me. She gives me hugs at the end of every session and says she cares.

Mine told me she cares about me and about ALL her clients......though before she told me once she didn't enjoy working with some as much as others. But despite that, she DOES care about all of us. That's not only her doing her part to be the best therapist she can, it really is her caring, because she is a caring person.

I don't know if your T genuinely cares about you, and I cannot speculate because I don't know your T, but do you believe everything your T tells you?

My T has told me many times that she likes me very much. I asked her if she "had" to say that, and she said if she didn't like a client she wouldn't say anything. But she then said she likes all of them. Even if she didn't like someone I know she would CARE about them though.

Now that you got that question answered, you should ask yourself why you want your T to care about you?

My point of view is solely that of a patient. In my experience, depending in a sense on the personality of a T, most T's very much care for all of their clients. Many clients may find that hard to believe, but the point of view of the T is quite different. They know and expect they will have a substantial percentage of "difficult" clients; clients with whom they must struggle, clients who will be uncooperative and hostile, clients whom it will be very difficult to like. But the T's know that in advance and understand that that's simply something they have to expect and deal with.

I really doubt that people who were not basically kindly, helpful and altruistic would become T's. There are so many other occupations that pay just as much if not more in which you don't have to subject yourself to the whims and conversation of crazy or half crazy people. Absolutely not. T's are basically and fundamentally good people who are out to help others. They didn't stumble into the profession because there weren't enough bank loan officer spots that hiring day. And any person who doesn't really belong in the T brother and sisterhood will spend little time there. There are too many other things they can do. I think that being a T is an extremely demanding profession with an income that is much less than one can earn in other situations. Misfits will not last long.

The T's you meet who have more than two or three years experience will be dedicated people, people you can trust. They may not be a good match with you personality-wise, but that doesn't mean they're not good T's or empathic T's or dedicated T's. You do have to find people you click with. Hope this helps. Take care.

She has worked with me for almost 20 years, hugs me at the end of sessions, signed a letter she wrote to me "love" T. Do you think she cares?

Protoform,
I felt the same doubt for years and years and years.
And rightly so, because the therapists I had were lousy!
It also depends on the therapist you have...
And you're right, they do go through compassion fatigue... but this is completely natural.

Ide like to think my T genuinely cares, she has told me many times she looks forward to our sessions, and she has told me she loves me. She is a very caring person and I do believe she genuinely cares about her clients.
Beth

I think they fake it to start and then they start to care on some level, how can you not. I don't know if my t "cares" about me, he helps me, he works with me, and its a very professional relationship we have. No hugs, no telling me he cares, or really anything like what Ive read in here about Ts, but it could be that he takes the vibe from me. For the 50 min I see him, I know he cares about his work with me and that's all that I care about. But they are human and I don't think they can help but care about thier clients.

Mine told me the same thing before.

I know without a doubt my current psychiatrist and my therapist both care about me. I know that because I've had some who did not seem to care.

I had one therapist that lacked skills and was always talking about herself in our sessions. I put up with it for awhile but it came down to the point I was the one being the therapist and she was acting like the client. When I decided to end our sessions, she actually cried and asked "why didn't I like her anymore?" I left the room when she started crying real hard--because she did not just let a few tears slip down her face she was full blown, snot dripping crying. I couldn't wait to leave her and get out of the room.

It is hard to doubt the real "authentic" nature of the relationship, to wonder if they are faking it or not? As I've read online about therapy and on this forum, I have seen that sometimes herapist show they care described as "a hug with words". Trust yourself and your instincts. If you feel that, then they do care. If you are going through transference(like I did and still am) they will be very careful what they say in order to avoid giving you the wrong impression. If you honestly don't feel that your therapist cares about you, in the sense of a doctor/patient relation, then find someone else.

I can assure you that, yes, they do care. A lot. My friend is going to be a T soon and I know she feels this way.

Maybe that's what psychologists are taught to answer when asked that question by their clients?

I doubt it.

Because you want to doubt it?

I don't imagine people getting into the therapy field unless it is in their nature to be caring. That doesn't mean that all T's and clients are a good fit. I believe that my T genuinely cares about my well-being and is concerned for my mental stability, but it is a purely professional type of caring. The same way I believe my doctor genuinely cares about my well-being. I am not looking for more than someone to lead me on the journey to healing so I was very comfortable when he told me he cared about me as a client. I guess it boils down to how you define caring...

Wow, Protoform, have you noticed that you ask a question and then actually begin to analyze and challenge every response you don't particularily like? It's pretty evident that you had a shearingly painful therapeutic experience, but that doesn't mean that everyone who is experiencing their therapeutic experience as positive and helpful is being conned or that they are in total denial. Maybe their relationship with their therapist has been truly helpful, supportive and healing. It's fine to question what happened during your difficult therapeutic relationship, but I think you need to stay focused on what YOU felt and what YOU experienced rather than question the validity of other individual's therapeutic relationships. Believe me, if they feel a need to bring their own concerns about what their therapeutic relationship means, they will post a thread about it.

I sure hope you're able to find a therapist that will assist you in addressing your concerns. Someone suggested DBT--this might not be a bad idea for you. It's more about developing a set of skills to deal with emotional dysregulation, anger management/assertiveness, mindfulness and dealing effectively with cognitive distortions (you learn to analyze your own cognitive thoughts). You stay in control in the sense that it's cognitively based rather than an attachment style form of psychodynamic therapy. Good luck!

I think this is a great question/topic. The first way I think about approaching an answer is to define "care". If your idea of feeling cared for is getting a hug and being told so, then I suppose that's a pretty easy criteria to fulfill.

For me, I think there's many different kinds of care - like love, it's a big word and it encompasses a lot. There's family love, friendly love, romantic love, even loving an inanimate object (like loving sunsets or the ocean). Care is the same way to me. There's different levels/types of care.

A hug and a kind word is a low-level of care to me. A higher level of care from a therapist might be if I told them I was feeling bad because I love music, and I want to play guitar, but I couldn't find a guitar for $75 or less (my budget), then I come back next week and the T has four printed ads from craigslist with guitars for $75 or less. That's an entirely different level of care. They had to work a little to help me on that one - they worked harder than a hug and word.

To answer your question, no, I have never felt cared for by a T. I keep hoping I will find one that does, but so far, no luck. But I'm harder to please than most (no I don't need a guitar, I already got two thanks). The closest I have felt to being genuinely cared for by a T is when I had an MD tell me that there were a lot of bad therapists out there, in addition to the good ones. I liked that guy. He told me that without insurance, I was going to have a much harder time finding a good therapist, because the good ones want to make money, and many of the ones that are paid by social services or government agencies are burned out, overloaded, or just plain low-quality. His honesty and pragmatism impressed me. He didn't care about me, per say, nor did he tell me anything I didn't already know, but he was honest. And being honest like that - well, that to me approaches "caring" in some tangential/abstract way. Cheers.

Usually therapists have a good pool of clients and there are many clients with lighter sessions/issues and some with heavier sessions/issues. Sometimes there are a select few a therapist "actively" worries and thinks about...but that is not to say she doesn't genuinely care about all of her clients.

I know it is hard to grasp and believe, though. T's are special people!