Hello friends, my therapist feels that DBT or CBT might be an effective method for me to try. I've researched and found that these methods are for strictly changing behavior and use homework, punishment and reward systems. Honestly the whole thing seems scary to me. Can anyone give me examples of what an actual reward and punishment will be? How does this actually work? Is the therapist in complete control? I don't know, it all just scares me.

Thanks for any input you may have. (((((((( hugs to all of you))))

Here's a link to the cbt article here on pc:

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/in-...ioral-therapy/

I can only speak to cbt as I've never been through dbt. Cbt is about your thought processes and being able to recognize faulty thought processes and correct those. It can be used for behaviors such as OCD and phobias, but that is not what I went through it for. In my case it was working on old thought patterns and establishing new, healthier thought patterns.

There are no rewards or punishments involved in cbt (maybe that's dbt?). I would not say the therapist is in complete control at all. I really have always found it a pretty equal relationship.

I have had some homework to do, but nothing that was overwhelming (and you really only do what you can do, you know?). Generally it was taking an event that I found triggering in some way (doesn't have to be a major event, just an everyday event works just as well) and going through a process of steps examining my thinking and feeling about that event. The goal is that you learn to do this automatically over time.

It really isn't something to be scared about at all. I have found it very helpful. Now my t is not exclusively cbt, so we intersperse other things in my therapy, but in the guts of things, my t is very cbt in his philosophy toward therapy. Because he isn't exclusively cbt, mine hasn't been a short-term therapy. You might want to find someone who uses some cbt techniques, but isn't exclusively cbt if you are worried about it being too structured for you. There are so many combinations of therapy techniques out there.

[Suratji]

Sorry, can't help you. My T is humanistic; psychodynamic.

[Chronic]

I agree with what Farmergirl said. My T is CBT and I have never been punished or rewarded for homework that I have or havent done. Of course if I have done it he will encourage me, but if I havent we will talk about why I havent. He does not get angry or punish me in any way. I have also found that contrary to what a lot of books on CBT say, the therapeutic relationship has been a huge focus for us (maybe that's because I/m BPD and have that need because my RL relationships are not great) and we spend a lot of time talking about it. T has always said from the beginning that "we are in this together, I want to work shoulder to shoulder with you". I have never felt he has been in control of the relationship or the therapy.

[PTSDlovemycats]

Well with DBT as far as punishments go if you are wanting to SI you must call your T to let them know. If you don't and you do SI than you aren't allowed to speak to your T for 24hrs. That could feel like a punishment to some...

[sittingatwatersedge]

I don't know anything about DBT. My T is primarily CBT but we haven't used it much from what I know of it. T does suggest things to be done outside the room from time to time, you could call it homework, but if I don't want to do it I don't have to. She can suggest reading too, but if it doesn't speak to me, that's fine too.

She has said that she COULD be very directing in her therapy but she doesn't like to be - so she's very much not. There are 10gazillion ways to do therapy IMO. So much is a reflection of the T and depends on the needs of the client.

Thank you everyone for your input. You all have reassured me. And I feel somewhat better as I continue to think about if I want to go ahead and try this. What made me concerned is that when I researched online about CBT and DBT something called "operant conditioning" kept popping up and a large number of the articles that talked it also said this is used as a punishment/reward system. Maybe, that is mainly for people who are at residential facilities though? The first thing I thought of was "okay, so if I say something wrong, I get time out or lose TV? hahahahahaha. Plus I have a little issue with giving up control, but I'm working on it. Thank you all for easing my mind.