Text T how I feel...

It wasn't the swearing perse that bothered me. I guess it was mostly this part that bothered me ".it's sickening to hear when you are a good soul and could help more people." I think like sky I am also sensitive to verbal things that could be taken out of context to be very critical. One of my triggers. It makes it sound like you aren't trying hard enough, when I see you trying very hard. I guess I'm also not sure about when you speak of 'voices'. I guess I assumed hallucinations and assumed she was waving those off as not important. However, after thinking about that, you may be talking about something else.

I didn't really see it as that harsh, I saw it like how a friend would talk to someone they saw hurting. But you have the right to say "I don't like that" if it doesn't feel ok for you.

Thank you Googley. When I am talking about the voices I am referring to auditory hallucinations. You were right about that. She has said before that she will pay attention to the fact that they are there but will choose not to focus on them. Yea, when I read the text, the part about the sickening it kinda got to me as well. I really didn't/don't know what she means by it. Does it mean that she physically feels sick when I said stuff in my first text or is it that it's horrible for me to say those things??? Any idea?

Thanks LYIB, I was also kind of surprised at how people responed as well.

Hehe I think people are reacting a bit like your T- indignant and protective. And maybe that's a good thing.

Thanks, sorry but what does indignant mean?

But a T isn't a friend....a T is a paid professional who is supposed to be working to help us heal.

If my T said those things to me, I would be devastated. I honestly can't even kind of imagine that coming out of his mouth to ANYONE. He told me a little story once of how he "went off" on someone over the weekend and it was SO mild..and he apologized to the person (not a client).

If I told my T I was in pain, and my T said he found that sickening, I would find a new T. Period.

Does she have a degree? Like, is she an actual psychiatrist who can prescribe and all of that?

I'm sorry cats. I want to support you, AND I want you to know that you don't deserve to be talked to like that by someone who is supposed to be helping you.

Like annoyed.. Angry... Somewhere between those two...

Thanks Treehouse, yes, she is a liscenced psychiatrist that can prescribe stuff. Thanks for your kind words.

Ok, thanks LYIB.

Hehe, crossposted, I agree, I would probably burst into tears if someone said that to my face. But in RL sometimes people give the ones they love the "you have so much potential don't you DARE waste it" speech. Maybe T's have a hard time holding back when they see that kind of thing (as a professional.. you know, they can kind of look ahead and see the future where people will end up if they don't change)?

What did she mean by "sickening" though....anyone have any thoughts on that??

Like countertransference... where she feels bad for seeing you feel bad? You are saying you feel "sick" to her in a sense and maybe she's saying she feels affected by that and doesn't like seeing it?

I was wondering the same thing. I know she had a rough day near the end of the week. She said that she sent 3 out of 5 of her patients the other day to the hospital. 2 took themselves and one left via ambulance. She only uses the hospital as a last resort.

Do you really think that she feels like that towards me??

No. Not at all!! I so doubt that she feels that way toward you.

How do you know about the other patients???? Just curious... My T never tells me about hers (ok rarely)

Ok I'm confused now. Are you saying that you think that she ISN'T saying that she's affected by what I'm saying? I don't know what she meant by that...

She said she was going to call me the other night and then text to say she had a long hard day and was emotionally exhausted and was going to go to bed. The next day at my session I asked her what happened.

[/PHP]Well what do you think she might be feeling?

Ah that's rough. Do you think there might be a connection to what she wrote?

God, I hadn't thought about that. Probably annoyed, frustrated, that I'm acting borderline...??

My guess would be worried.

What do you mean with what she wrote?

I find her treatment of you appalling as well. You wrote about it once before and I couldn't believe what I was reading. This kind of treatment would have completely eroded my self-esteem during a time when I was vulnerable. I don't get it. She sounds, to me, very frustrated and impatient. I think her behavior is unprofessional and potentially harmful. I understand that she cares about you and you value your relationship, but have you ever told her this kind of treatment upsets you? You deserve kindness, patience, acceptance and positive regard...

Take gentle care of yourself. I hope you feel better.

Uhm. Red flags x 100. Inappropriate Pdoc...