Dear T...

Dear T,

I wish you loved me.

Love,

Night

Dear T,
Please do not take any more vacations.

Dear T,

You don't know how lost inside I feel all the time.
You want me to reparent my inner selves.. and that is fine.
But all I know is the way my parents treated me.
Treating myself that way is not working.

Me

Dear T,
Talked to my sister yesterday and she said, "I have been thinking about this core belief of yours (the one I wrote you the "essay" on). I think I know how you might be able to combat it -" and then what she said made tears start from my eyes and I couldn't talk any more, so we ended the call.
So, apparently there is still something in there after all. Whether I will be able to tell you about this or not, we'll have to see. Doubtful.
SAWE

Dear pdoc

I'm not coming this week because I'm fed up with all the questions

F

dear T

please help me talk today i really want to tell you everything and last week was a total miserable session.i dont want you to be all angry and all just help me be able to talk to you without you being all angry and making me afraid not to.

granite

Dear T,

You're going to be proud of me. I'm proud of myself. I know it's only Monday but I think I will be all right this week. It helps knowing that you're in town, not away, but still.....I'm doing things with others and making plans even though all this social stuff is uncomfortable for me.

why did you make me go away?. ... haven't i been dumped enough in my life? you are free of me... i give up trying. you said you specialized in my "issues" but you even dumped me too. gosh.

Actually, I think I've changed my mind. It's a woman's perogative you know

Since I'm heading overseas in a few days, I thought I'd come because I'm incredibly nervous about going. Be my first visit to my place of birth in over 5 years. So much has happened to me in that time.

Might need some support

Dear T,

I am so tired of rolling this ball uphill.
I really, really, really question whether I will ever get it.
the problem of course is not you, it's me,
If I could pay someone cash to go my next session for me, I just might consider it....

SAWE

Dear T -
You keep telling me that it's okay to cry, it's okay to express my emotions, but lately, every time I start to get teary-eyed, you ask me why. Then, when I stop to think, I get the tears under control. Next time, can you not ask me why, can you just let me cry? I know why...it's because you're showing caring and concern, but I'm too ashamed to admit that is what's making me cry.

(I'm really tempted to actually send this one to T)

Dear T,
I really do love and appreciate you! My walls of shame and fear are just tumbling down all around me and I feel like I can talk to you about anything!

Dear T,

Tomorrow it will be one week until I see you again! I know I will email you before Friday or I won't get my email back but I'm holding off to see if I can do it. I miss you.

I'm getting anxious about some things in RL but trying to stay calm. I listened to the beach meditation but I have to admit I mostly listen so I can hear your voice, but that relaxes me too!

Love,
rainbow

Dear pdoc,

My passport finally arrived and I'm leaving the country.

Catch me if you can!

Dear T,

There so much I wish I could tell you. I seriously think, I may cry if i get to see you again. I want to feel safe and you have that amazing feeling when i see you that all things will be okay again. I need that feeling but at the sametime I'm scared of what will happen, when I feel that again. I just want to hug you and tell you all the things that I like about you. I want to hear about your kids and your husband. I know this may not happen again but all I want to say is I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!! I don't think you realize how much you mean to me. Take Care and I hope all is Well you!!

God Bless,
Xeneon

Dear T,

Yes, when I went out I was crying.

Maybe you had already had a hard day yesterday by the time I got there, and my being one of yr more difficult clients probably didn't help at all. If that was the case, I hope things are easier for you today, and then you're off till Monday.

I am fighting hard with the idea of calling you and saying, are you SURE you want to see me next week? I can save you the time, I can tell you now what I will be telling you then:
I don't want to see a pdoc,
I don't want a dx,
I don't want pills beyond the SJW I am taking;
I don't know if YOU want to continue with me under those circumstances.

And.... I don't have the courage to ask you whether you do. I just can't risk it.
SAWE

Dear T,

You didn't write very much in your email to me but I wrote that you were still on vacation and didn't have to! I figured you wouldn't write much anyway. But how do you know for sure no one will cancel on Wednesday? 9:00 a.m. is so early for me!

Now that you emailed me I miss you more! It's hard knowing you're there but not with me. Stupid, I know. Sometimes I hate this crummy T-relationship!!!!!!!

Dear T,
I want to move in with you and your dog. I hope my cat gets along with your dog.
Crazy

Dear former T,
I was hurt by your response to my email. I was hurt that you didn't bother to answer my email on Monday. I foolishly, naively thought you had missed me and were thinking about me. What a laugh.
I realize now that though you liked me when we were working together, once we terminated and you moved on to your new life in your new state, you are focused on other things, and do not care about me as much as I had imagined.

Dear T,

I'm sorry I am such a difficult client. I am going to try hard to be more normal.

SAWE

Dear T,
Thank you so much for calling me tonight and promising me you will see me on Monday or Tuesday before going away on your vacation. You said even if there will be no cancellations, you promise to squeeze me in somehow. I trust you and I know you will find a way for us to meet. I know you care and I know you love me. I saw how upset and helpless you felt today when I was in so much pain and there was nothing in the world you could do to ease the pain. I saw in your eyes that you wanted to hug me and comfort me, and it made me feel so warm and connected inside, despite all the pain I was experiencing.
I appreciate you so much, I think the world of you. I love you.

Hey t,

You are such a pillar of patience. I wish I wasn't going down this road of depression again; I know you do too. I know it pains you to see me go through this. One of the things I so appreciate about you is your availability. You've seen me twice this week and spent a great deal of time on the phone with me yesterday afternoon just helping me put my coping skills in place for the weekend. Thanks for that. I'll call you Monday if I need to (or before that if things get really crappy), and I'll see you Tuesday for sure.

Dear T,

Thank you for leaving me a message in return. I didn't detect any smiles in your voice at all.
Yes I would like to keep the appointment you set for me this week, if you will have me. If you would rather cancel me, then do it. I won't blame you.
SAWE

Dear T -
I'm struggling with anxiety today, and I don't really know why. I so want to be able to deal with this on my own. I don't want to need to call you. I don't like calling unless it's an emergency...and this is not an emergency, I just feel unsettled. I'd like to hear your voice, though and have your support. I know I can't get that unless I contact you...and I don't want to! I dislike these conflicted feelings.

Dear T - I am so lucky to have you in my life. I finally have one person in this world who is there for me and that I can trust. You are helping me so much. I don't want you to know how much I need you, so I would never say to this to you. But maybe you know anyway .........