[SoupDragon]

Saw T yesterday and managed to duck and dodge all the difficult stuff - phew!! That was a result ......bit of a wasted session though I guess

[granite1]

4 more days untill my hubby comes home

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

I hate reading the news... Yet I can't take my eyes away

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

Saw T yesterday and managed to duck and dodge all the difficult stuff - phew!! That was a result ......bit of a wasted session though I guess

Hey, that was my game plan for today too. But, I think I've changed my mind. Thanks for the insight.

[Rose76]

I better get enough done today so that I can respect myself for trying. Organizing tax material to bring to accountant is goal. I have a ton of paperwork to sort through and I must think of how good I'll feel if I do a reasonable amount. That would be a way of keeping the anxiety monster from coming close and chasing my mind and scaring me.

[Elana05]

My T asked if I wanted a 2nd session this week. She said "I think you need one." It made me feel very cared for.

[roadtrip]

T has been back from vacation a few weeks and here I go having him on my mind way too much. I met with T yesterday, still thinking about it today but want to get him off of my mind. Argh!! feel sufficated by all the therapy thouhts in my head yet trying to get it off my mind. I'l try the busy busy busy days so I can get the space back in my head where my real life should be. oh well

[FourRedheads]

Originally Posted by Elana05

My T asked if I wanted a 2nd session this week. She said "I think you need one." It made me feel very cared for.

That is great!

[FourRedheads]

The fear and confusion is intense today. Woke up around 4 am and was not able to get back to sleep. Hanging on until Monday when my daughter has an appt with her T. She's been going to this T off & and on for a couple of years. I talk with her as well. Recently, I've started to really open up to her and trust her with some things. But this is really confusing, because she really isn't "my" T, even though she will talk with me for 20 minutes or sometimes even longer. She doesn't seem to mind but I'm confused.

About a month ago, I was very badly triggered while in her office. She saw us again a few days later and spent nearly the entire 50 minutes working with me, while my daughter waited in the waiting room. So I felt horrible about that, like I was cheating my daughter. Not sure what to expect on Monday, or even why this matters so much to me. I just recently began seeing a different T just for myself. She's on vacation and won't be back for another 2 weeks.

[rainbow8]

I got up too early and feel a little nauseous. I went to my first new yoga class but the teacher didn't come so we did an exercise video instead. I was disappointed. I leave for my session in about an hour. I hope I feel better by then. I'm anxious about the session too, of course.

depression is good; as in not around lately.
anxiety, not so much. my 21 year old son moved back in with me and has no prospects as far as life is concerned. He has lived on his own since he was 19, and just quit his job.
Help me to have strength in dealing with him, he is a handfull

[WePow]

Made it through the day ...much better than the past days. It really helped me to see my T yesterday. He was able to get my teen boy alter to agree not to harm me. That was HUGE! So we watched the sunrise and took things just at a pace. It really helped me to not have to fight inside while trying to work. My T is a life saver!

[skysblue]

I went swimming with the dolphins - oh how freeing to be underwater with them. Then I went flying with the eagles and we soared up and up and up. And then finally I stood on the top of the Himalayas and drunk in the vista. All in all - I had a great time.

[kaliope]

today seemed like a long day. could not focus on my work. my mind kept wandering but to what i could not even tell yu. i was listening to people talk and then i would realize that i was tuning them out. not very good when i am supposed to be responding to what they say. one person asked me how i was doing and honestly it felt like i had just been set down by a whirl wind.

probably nervous about meeting new pdoc tomorrow. worried he is going to be an arrogant jerk. not be attentive to my needs. scared. luckily i see T on friday morning but i am worried about that too after the last message i left him. when is my upset too much. when will he say i cant be doing that anymore. i hardly ever have in our two years togehter. this has just been a difficult month for me not having my one medication. i told him that is what i think it is because before i ran out, i was doing great. run out and i am freaking out about all this stuff. i think its connected.

[rainbow8]

I'm exhausted but need to stay up and do some stuff. I wish I could write about my session, but T says to try not to; it's an experiment. I feel calm but also sad, and I miss my T already.

[delicatefade26]

Today was absolutely draining I had a session with my T and told him about my family member in the psych ward-and I didn't cry or get upset-I don't think I let myself-which is okay I've cried enough about it anyways...but we were in a different office and I hated it-I didn't feel comfortable in it-and I can't wait to go back to our normal!! So we ended up discussing my severe abandonment issue with men-and explored our relationship-and he kept saying he isn't going to leave me-I wish I could believe him 100%...but I'm working on it! Then we started talking about meds after I brought it up and he wants me to see a psychiatrist to get an eval b/c he thinks (and so do I) that I have a different DX than I originally thought...I am terrified of going-but he is going to set up an appointment for me (I know it's silly but I feel like he is helping take care of me by doing this-and I like it) soo..now I will have to try not to worry about this-esp since it will be weeks until I can get an appointment apparently...okay enough blabbing-I need to sleep!!!

[sunrise]

My father's been dead a month now. It feels OK. Like this is how it should be. But I miss him. My mom got her phone line unblocked so that now when she calls me, it shows up on caller ID instead of just "unlisted." The thing is, it doesn't show her name though, but my father's name. The first time it happened, it gave me a start, like he was phoning me from beyond the grave.

I saw my T yesterday. It was good. Just very comfortable, so comfortable. I think that is a good thing about going to therapy with the same person for several years--you can get to know each other so well and have that comfort between you.

[lastyearisblank]

Wow I don't know what to say. I'm soooo sorry sunrise.

Kind of a rough day at work today. It started off okay, but this afternoon our principal was being a jerk (not that that is unusual) and it just hit me wrong. I didn't blow him off like I usually can and I let it ruin the rest of the afternoon. I know what I should have done, but my skills just didn't kick in fast enough. Sounds like a topic to discuss with T.

[nicoleb2]

Ok day. We had a birthday party for my son. 8 kids between 6-8 years o9ld. Went OK, but my husband was a crab so he wasn't helping much with the kids

[SilentLucidity]

Today was a pretty decent day with a bit of a rough patch this afternoon. Maybe at some point I will actually allow myself the break down that I've been fighting off for months now.

[pachyderm]

Trying to keep in mind that many who trigger me are themselves unhappy people, whose needs should be paid attention -- as hard as I find that.

[Rose76]

I met my goal yesterday of getting stuff almost ready to take to the accountant to do my 2010 taxes. I'll have the stuff completely ready and nicely organized by this afternoon. I am becoming depressed again after 3 weeks and 6 days of not being depressed. That interval of relief was the first long interval of feeling well in over a year. I'm so afraid that nobody will hire me, and that I might fail at job, even if they do.

[granite1]

home today with no work.i feel so alone it is so quiet and i just feel strange

[nicoleb2]

Today is going Ok so far. I can sort of feel something coming emotionally, but can't identify it . Trying to hope it's something positive. I need to work on my DBT diary card and homework, just have not felt like it yet