[Toxie55]

I am doing okay. I met with T and had a very productive session

[kaliope]

today is well. see T tomorrow. yesterday i got brave enough to invite/accept invite to coffee with a man i met thru internet dating site. feel should discuss this with T but also embarrassed by this. which is more reason should talk to T. dont know. feel ill prepared to see T. feel weird about life. why did i set up this coffee date.

Today has not been good. I got a call from our alarm system that my husband had pushed his medical alert button and the ambulance was on its way. I rushed home to see what happened. He is okay, but he was not emotionally well at all. I called my pastor to come over and talk with him. I am stressed to the max with starting back to school and this going on at home!

I am wondering what happened to the Squiggle who had so many positive things happening in her life. Where did all that go? I feel like a hypocrit for sharing that stuff on here and now I am beginning to hit rock bottom again.

[SilentLucidity]

Ticket for the roller coaster anyone? Today was crazy busy at work, full day of classes, meetings, and parent meetings in the evening. Cryptic call from the doctor saying one of my test came back suspicious and they needed me to repeat it. Total panic set in. I have done so many tests in the past two weeks and some on of them are really expensive. After two hours of phone tag I found out it is just a simple blood test and the lab won't charge since they think it is their mistake. Yeah! However the real triumph came this evening when the parent of the student I spent significant time listening to this past Friday night came in to thank me for being there for her child. This is one of those moments that sustain me on those days when I just don't think I can do it anymore.

[nicoleb2]

Today was ok. Went to dinner and yoga with a friend.

Getting really anxious about my 1 hour appointment with my new pdoc on wednesday. NOT looking forward to it

[Rose76]

I am not badly depressed. I sort of am not at all, by my standards. I did cry yesterday several times. The sorrow was fleeting, so that doesn't count as a depressive episode in my calculation. I have things to do that are keeping me busy. When I'm doing my "busy work," it is just demanding enough to occupy my thoughts and I'm mostly all about the household projects. Getting through the hoarded clutter of a few depressive years is easier now than when I started. When the last pile of papers is culled and filed, I will feel like I conquered the world. So I have something to look forward to.

[FourRedheads]

3 week wait is over. I had my session this morning. I think it went pretty well. T walked me out to the waiting room when we were done. As we're walking, I ask T, "So, how was your vacation?" T answers, "Oh, I didn't take a vacation after all. I'll be gone in October."

WHAT?!

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by FourRedheads

As we're walking, I ask T, "So, how was your vacation?" T answers, "Oh, I didn't take a vacation after all. I'll be gone in October."

WHAT?!

Maybe he just means he didn't go away on vacation, but he spent his time off in town. I do that sometimes.

I just got back from my vacation. It was fun and relaxing. Also, I got all caught up on sleep and was able to break out of the unproductive sleep pattern I'd gotten stuck in. That's huge! So vacation definitely a success. Glad to be back. It's cooler here than where I was on vacation so that makes sleep even easier.

I'm feeling SUPER frustrated and sad because T didn't give me enough warning about his upcoming vacation (he thought he had told me) so I can't get the session time I want the week he comes back. All of the sessions were filled by the people he TOLD.

Wow, talk about feeling like a big nobody.

Yippee! Technology finally debugged my laptop at school. I feel like I've just had a limb reattached.

T doubled his session with my husband today because my husband was having a difficult time. And he didn't charge for the extra session. Such a good T. Gotta love him.

[nicoleb2]

Getting more anxious about my new pdoc appt tomorrow. I really don't want to go through everything AGAIN. This will be the 3rd pdoc at this office in about a year that I have to tell the same stuff, over and over and over again

[FourRedheads]

Originally Posted by sunrise

Maybe he just means he didn't go away on vacation, but he spent his time off in town. I do that sometimes.

At first I thought that too. But she kept talking, saying something about her relative and the air conditioner broke and it was too hot or something. So nope, no vacation. Still not sure what to think of that.

[rainbow8]

FourRedheads, I don't get it. Why, if she didn't go away, did she cancel your appointments for 3 weeks???????? Are you sure she didn't take off from her work? I'm so sorry this happened. I would definitely ask her directly about it.

[cin1]

Originally Posted by nicoleb2

Getting more anxious about my new pdoc appt tomorrow. I really don't want to go through everything AGAIN. This will be the 3rd pdoc at this office in about a year that I have to tell the same stuff, over and over and over again

dr.s were really important to me for several years. the appointments were pretty much my life. i am at point where i go to take care of me, it is about me, not them, not me and them, just me. Now they want to ask me advice--Ha , ha.. some are better than others. but they all are human. keep at it, one of these days they will be impressed with you, and how far you have come..cin1.... is it really worth stressing over?? are they stressing over it? probably not...

[5catsin2out]

Newbie Vy here. Had group therapy today. I was fairly comfortable this time. I'm thankful that my negative self-talk didn't show up!

[SilentLucidity]

Session today went alright. I still have difficulty being vulnerable with T though. I found myself wondering today what constitutes a "break through" in therapy and how does one know when they've had one. I know I haven't had one yet. I am hopeful that one will come soon.

[crazycanbegood]

sad for saying bye to T. spent most of the day packing. haven't been on psychcentral really and I am so far behind on reading the posts! now I must sleep.

[Wren_]

sad for saying bye to T. spent most of the day packing. haven't been on psychcentral really and I am so far behind on reading the posts! now I must sleep.

thinking of you

[cin1]

Originally Posted by SilentLucidity

Session today went alright. I still have difficulty being vulnerable with T though. I found myself wondering today what constitutes a "break through" in therapy and how does one know when they've had one. I know I haven't had one yet. I am hopeful that one will come soon.

break through for me has been when i have begun to realize something that i had not before. or when i am further along with improving myself or accomplishing something. cin1

[laceylu]

NINE days till I see T. Having moments of pride and shame for the way I am handling this stuff all by myself. Except of course for pc.

[sunrise]

I am seeing T today and we need to repeat part of our session from 2 weeks ago as I lost all the notes I took (actually, they were stolen). Arrghh. I hate having to repeat, but my memory is awful, and I asked T very specific questions and took notes. So we gotta do it again.... Hopefully we can get through quickly. I've already warned him about what we will be doing.

[nicoleb2]

Pdoc appointment in less than 2 hours. Not looking forward to it. Really anxious about it. Forcing myself not to cancel

[Rose76]

I did get enough hours of sleep to catch up. So now I have normal physical energy and I am not depressed. Got a lot to do, yet, to restore my living quarters to what they had been before this long protracted depression. I have to not think it is impossible to get thngs sorted out. I'm always thinking that something is impossible that is not impossible.

There are job opportunities out there and I have overcome this tendency to think that everything is just to hard to do. I did plenty of hard things in my life. I try to tell myself it is not too late. I should make a schedule because I am already going in circles about which task to do next. That leads to daydreaming the time away. I better remind myself that I will soon be insolvent if I don't get it together. Not beating up on myself, just facing reality.

[rainbow8]

I went to a new yoga class. I wish I'd started out with this one a year ago because it's much easier. It hurt to sit down on the floor but I loved the meditation and breathing!

[FourRedheads]

I have NO KIDS. NONE. My folks took them camping. I'll drive up tomorrow and spend the day and then come back home. Alone. With no kids. They all come home on Friday.

I don't know what to do with myself. Sitting here, eating chips & dip just because I can and I don't have to share with anyone. I really should do laundry and clean the house, but...eh.

Maybe I'll go to my favorite library and spend a couple of hours lost in the stacks. Tonight I might take the dogs to the walking trail at the park.