[OneRedRose]

feels weird, my friends cousin is visiting for a month, shes a therapist, feel abit odd, trying not to tell her all about my problems because 1) the friend connection would make it awkward and 2) shes on holiday here its not fair, am taking her out tomorrow shopping alone because my friend is busy at work, so that should be interesting, hopefully its sunny so can have ice cream on the beach , we all went out on wednesday and we got on really well so im not nervous about spending day with a stranger.

but I miss my T already, not in a transference way, but in a its good to know that on a certain day I get to get help, and have someone I can actually talk to, that no matter what i say the worst that can happen is that maybe i get transfered to another T and not have to worry about it being said to anybody else, and feels weird that this week I do not.

[lifelesstraveled]

Had a good session with T thursday (first after a several week hiatus from T). I finally shared some things with T that she didn't know...more importantly i FINALLY admitted that "I'm not OK"--after two T's in about 3 years I finally admitted it. T was thrilled (not that I was feeling bad, but because I finally admitted it instead of telling her that things were fine or OK), I was embarrassed and ashamed ( I hate admitting that I'm not OK)

currently feeling agitated, anxious, depressed and now I wish I had made an appointment with T for sometime this week instead of next week.

[crazycanbegood]

i think my crazy has gotten crazy

[PleaseHelp]

(((FourRedheads))))

[cin1]

[quote=crazycanbegood;2030242]i think my crazy has gotten crazy[ /qu o how so?/

[cin1]

Originally Posted by crazycanbegood

i think my crazy has gotten crazy

oh, are you being admitted to a psy ward?

[nicoleb2]

I'm feeling really disconnected from me and from everything else today

[FourRedheads]

((nicoleb2))

I"m sorry it's a struggle. Everyday, when I log in and pull up this thread, the first thing I do is look for your post. Kinda weird, because I don't really know you, but I do care. I hope things get better soon.

[PTSDlovemycats]

How are you doing Crazy?? I initially wanted to "Lol" but decided against it incase you were being serious. I hope you are ok.

Today was uneventful for me. YAY for that! I don't think I could handle another day of drama and stress. I hope to get a peaceful night's rest.

[cin1]

i am waiting for tomorrow so i can go talk to someone about my anger and the situation i am in. i didn't sleep much for the past two nights, so i am tired on top of every thing else.

[Rose76]

I might be getting better. I think I am.

[nicoleb2]

I am going to see my T tomorrow. Hopefully it will help me figure out what i am/am not feeling.
SI urges are better tonight, but I still feel really detached. I don't know how to even put in to words how i feel right now

I woke up about every hour last night. I have no idea what was up with that. Now it is 5:00am, time to really wake up and get ready for work. I am not that tired, which is odd. I have a long day of me. Have to be bright and on my toes with 27 students depending on me! I bet I crash when I get home. At least I hope I do!

[SoupDragon]

So much calmer today, yesterday thought I was losing the plot!

[WePow]

Had interesting weekend. Did things I didn't want or need to do rather than healthy choices. But oh well. I am still recovering from the stuff two weeks ago. A part of me is feeling very closed off from T. But that is fine. I don't care much anyway about that now. In fact, there is very little I do care about now. Oh wells....

[Rose76]

Full of tears from bad anxiety. I am not depressed right now. I will make a plan of what to do today. I am so fearful when I think of resumes and interviews and jobs. It is at the level of paralyzing fear. It would be fun to do housecleaning instead of other things. Some of both maybe. I have to earn the plant I bought myself.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

Originally Posted by lifelesstraveled

T was thrilled (not that I was feeling bad, but because I finally admitted it instead of telling her that things were fine or OK), I was embarrassed and ashamed ( I hate admitting that I'm not OK)

My first day with a new T, she said I was "never allowed to use the F-word." My mind being in the gutter as it is, I looked at her somewhat blankly and probably sheepishly ... no doubt thinking, "well F that!" ... but of course she meant FINE. I can use any adjective I want (including dropping the F-bomb) but cannot describe myself as being fine.

[nicoleb2]

My pdoc called back
Left me a message. He says doxepin should not have negatively affected my mood. Did not bother to address the exhaustion I felt when taking it. Yet another person that thinks its all in my head

Originally Posted by bubsmiley

My first day with a new T, she said I was "never allowed to use the F-word." My mind being in the gutter as it is, I looked at her somewhat blankly and probably sheepishly ... no doubt thinking, "well F that!" ... but of course she meant FINE. I can use any adjective I want (including dropping the F-bomb) but cannot describe myself as being fine.

Lol!
I swear like a trooper sometimes, but I don't think I could ever really swear in front of my T, she's so ladylike, y'anno? One time I was thinking back over a session, and convinced myself I'd said the 'S' word... and was mortified at the thought of it, haha...

I only woke at 7.15pm this evening, after a lot of crazy dreams.

[PleaseHelp]

Didn't make it to DBT was feeling to faint and sick. Made myself go to work. Went to the doctor. Exactly what I knew would happen "Not much we can do for you. You'll need to see a specialist. Here's something that will hopefully help with the pain. Have a nice day." Oh I'm having a great day! My crutches are ticking me off. They are the most inconvenient pain in the arse invention. I'm noticing the MAJOR lack of handicap accessibility around my area. But when it comes to talking to the docs they wouldn't know that or how much pain I'm in b/c I just play it off. I mean after 15 years of this crap, I pretty much know the routine and how to do the sing & dance. So here's to another week or so of resting and being on crutches until I get into see a NP in the Orthopedics office. I just hope the pain med they gave me helps. A little crabby at the moment.

[SilentLucidity]

Monster cold has taken hold and I have been spending time on the couch sleeping. The cold sucks, but time on the couch is nice.

[beautiful.mess]

I feel like crap today; had a session with t, and now I feel emotionally drained. I literally want to just sit and stare out the window and not deal with anyone right now. *sigh*

[cin1]

i haven't been in therapy for years, just taking my meds going along ok. today i saw a therapist about anger issues, and also saw a nurse who added a med. now i can't stay awake. i see the nurse again thursday ( have to drive 100 miles to see her). seeing the t brought back some thoughts about the past, and reading beautiful.mess's post about being emotionally drained, i relate. i don't think i want to do this all over again.

[Rose76]

Now I talked to a potential employer and the person was so nice and now I am going on top of the world again. I just think I feel so good now, and that will be nice to enjoy. I think it is hypomanic happiness, but I take what is available.