[crazycanbegood]

after trying on my suits and not being able to zip or fasten even with gut sucked in, I realized I DESPERATELY need to lose weight. must know spend hundreds of dollars purchasing more suits. UGH! depression is so not good for my waist size.

[nicoleb2]

I got a little bit of sleep last night. I wish I could just go back to bed cause I am so tired,
Really having SI urges and sui thoughts. My therapist would say that I am hiding from my emotions, but I don't know what i am hiding....

I am determined to get my house in order today. Throw stuff away! Organize things so that I can function better around here.

[FourRedheads]

((((nicoleb2))))

[FourRedheads]

Scared today. Just fear. Afraid to see my daughter's T on Monday. Afraid that he will be there again. Afraid to sit in the waiting room. Afraid her T will talk to me. More afraid her T won't talk to me.

Trying to distract myself. Clean the house, load of laundry, make lunch for the kids, take a walk, glance at a book.

Still focusing on taking care of myself. Take a shower, brush my hair, brush my teeth, eat food. I have to really concentrate on doing this.

Next year, remind me not to go to the store on tax-free weekend.

[Butterflies Are Free]

Feeling pretty good, although I bit tired. All of my withdrawal symtoms from coming off the Pristiq are gone and I was able to go into school last week to set up my classroom.
Taking it one day at a time...

[kaliope]

so my pdoc gave me homework to have a goal each day telling me i will feel better if i accomplish something. preferrably doing something that creates anxiety for me so that i can learn how to manage that anxiety. then i read everybody's posts and i see so many of you with lists of goals to get things done. its encouraging me to do more to feel better about myslef.

i did my goal today. i went to the bank and deposited money i have had building up for the last couple months but have been unable to motivate myself to leave the house and deposit it. just the thought of leaving home to do this made me nauseous. so then i figured since the bank was in the grocery store i may as well shop some too. besides the nausea my head was spinning and i got super dry mouth. it wasnt a pleasant trip and i couldnt even come up with the coping skills to control my anxiety. i guess i should have planned them out before hand.

hope every one is doing as well as they can be.

[SoupDragon]

Have been all over the place today - but right now - things are fine.

[delicatefade26]

Doing pretty good today...I thought about T and our next session too much though-I need to stop that!! I'm going to spend the evening organizing and doing laundry and watching a movie

[SilentLucidity]

2.5 hours of blood work today. take blood. drink this. wait. take more. wait. take more. BLAHHHHH. I had other things I wanted to do today and now I'm finding it difficult to motivate to do any of them. Reading posts above are helping me to get there so thanks for that. New goals for today - get blood work done (hey now, I'm successful with that one), take a nap (check), straighten kitchen and living room, and play with some clay. I think I can get it done. Good luck to everyone else and there goals/chores/hopes for the day.

I'm pretty sure today is the first day in 10 days that I haven't had some sort of contact with T...either a session, or an e-mail, or a phone call. Really, I'm fine. I see him on Monday

[skysblue]

Enrolled in 4 classes through university extension. Can hardly wait.

[crazycanbegood]

I've decided today is the day I restart my life.

[Rose76]

Stayed up all last night busying myself with little chores. Hard to stay awake because Temazepam really knocks me out, but I became afraid to go to bed, fearing to go to sleep. Was content doing the little chores - like - rearranged a drawer and culled files. After 7 AM felt okay to go to sleep, and did have a nightmare. Since that 25 days of euthymia/hypomania ended, I have been trying to just refuse to accept the start of another depressive period.

Mainly, I keep moving around doing little things. Maybe, if I refuse to stay still, it can't get me. That sort of has been working. Then the monster threatened to get me if I went to sleep, and that is an intensifying of the level of struggle. It is not a fair fight when I can be attacked in my sleep, which had not been a problem lately, until last night. That won't happen again anytime soon. I would say I am not depressed. So, that's a real good thing, but today was disorganized with no routine. Did NONE of my goals for today.

worked from 6am-845pm... too long.. now i am tired.
anxious to start a new running program "from couch potato to 5K in two months???" i have my doubts but i am willing to try. weather is perfect for it!!!!
need to get this weight off!

[Elli-Beth]

Originally Posted by jbmomg

worked from 6am-845pm... too long.. now i am tired.
anxious to start a new running program "from couch potato to 5K in two months???" i have my doubts but i am willing to try. weather is perfect for it!!!!
need to get this weight off!

I love C25K! It worked for me! You can find online music mixes that match the speed and timing online and download them to an MP3 player, even. I lost 35 pounds and have a nice collection of race t-shirts now!

[SoupDragon]

Bad, bad headache, didn't sleep well - fairly blah today.

[WePow]

slept tons the past few days... just got up and making myself stay up for a bit so ican sleep tonight. work in the AM. but feeling better.

[delicatefade26]

I feel more balanced today than I have in a long time I went to a new church and I really loved it I guess I'm just wishing I felt like this more often-but I guess that is what I'm working on with my T (who I can't wait to see on Thursday!) Hope everyone has a relaxing Sunday!

[skysblue]

I think me and my beach chair should go watch the surf & seagulls today.

[kaliope]

that sounds so nice skysblue, can i come join you?

i got up "early" today compared to the last several weekends. lots of self talk to accomplish goal for pdoc. have movies to take back to redbox which would take me to the store where i could get green tea bags which i forgot yesterday because i was so anxious. i figured when i was out, i could go sit in the parking area for my dentist and practice managing my anxiety, something pdoc wanted me to do. but he said one thing a day so i am talking myself out of going out of my apartment, after all the movies will only cost me a couple bucks to return late. if i want to create anxiety for the day, set a goal for myself, i only have to vacuume. as often as i blow up vaccuume cleaners i am very leary of using them. i even got dressed to go out after my shower instead of putting on a housedress. so i guess i must go out, take control of my life is the mantra he has given me. no more letting my thoughts keep me locked up all weekend.

boy this is hard.

[sunrise]

I hung out with family last night. It was nice. I think we feel closer since my father died and we all went through that together. We cooked Chinese food together and had a nice little feast, then went out to a movie.

Today I've been culling through the many books in my house to find more I can take to the used book store and get rid of. I took 3 boxes a couple of weeks ago and now have another 3 boxes ready to go.

Still haven't set up the storefront on Amazon but it's on the "to do" list.

[ECHOES]

I visited with my next door neighbor who I've been slowly getting to know. Only to find out he is laid off and will be moving when his lease is up. On the other side of me the guy was evicted after losing his job, the papers still posted on his door.

In spite of it all, it was nice to visit with my neighbor. He's a nice guy and I enjoyed it.

[crazycanbegood]

I went walking around today at the beach. I havent had any physical activity for quite some time. I had to walk a lot of stairs. My friend took of picture of me, and for the first time, I realized just how much weight I have gained during my extended period of feeling sorry for myself. I am now sitting on my couch aching for the walking and stairs. I need to walk everyday now to lose weight and get back into decent shape.