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#1
Jul 18, 2011, 07:05 PM
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i am trying really hard to not make my T all bad.she was so stern today with me.i was afraid not to talk to her and OMG i don't like that at all.i don't understand why she is doing this.i hate when she makes me afraid to not talk i don't know what is worse not being able to talk or being afraid not to talk.it feels awful to talk to her when i don't want to.i mean she seemed so angry and frustrated .she really pushed me and that scares me.i feel like she is starting to hate me so much.she even said she has had people clients that she has thought of as mean and snotty.does she think i am snotty
 .at one point she said i need to stop acting like she is torturing me. does she think I'm acting.i was so scared of her.does she not believe anything i say. these things are definitely taken out of context but this is all i took away with todays session.she said that she is doomed to be one of the bad people that i am going to think she hates me no matter what.she said again that she wishes i would trust her and trust the process.does she really hate me is this why she behaved the way she did.i don't understand.i cant make her bad in my mind i need her so bad.i know that i don't like that i need her and i hate to even acknowledge it most times but i do and I'm scared
__________________
BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT  Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that |
 granite1
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#2
Jul 18, 2011, 07:09 PM
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I hate that "trust the process" line.
I think we need to trade T's... my T won't push, says I make her do all the work... and I need someone that will push! But overall... dunno... I never have understood your T. Hugs
__________________
There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
| granite1
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#3
Jul 18, 2011, 07:09 PM
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Um... do you feel like this with her very often? You might try another therapist that makes you feel more comfortable. Just sayin.... you have that option.
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#4
Jul 18, 2011, 07:15 PM
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Quote:
__________________
BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that |
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#5
Jul 18, 2011, 07:16 PM
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sorry cant help you. but if shes makes you feel like that i would dump her, could be your own issues tho.
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| granite1
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#6
Jul 18, 2011, 07:16 PM
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I don't think that she is a good match for you granite. There are T's out there who could be a better match for you.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| granite1
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#7
Jul 18, 2011, 07:17 PM
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Quote:
__________________
BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that |
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#8
Jul 18, 2011, 07:18 PM
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Quote:
__________________
BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that |
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#9
Jul 18, 2011, 07:33 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| granite1
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#10
Jul 18, 2011, 07:36 PM
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Quote:
__________________
BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that |
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#11
Jul 18, 2011, 07:37 PM
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I wish I could overnight my Pdoc to you. I know she is a Pdoc but she is a good T and is awesome at helping people feel safe, cared for and helping people to talk.
__________________
There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
| granite1
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#12
Jul 18, 2011, 07:49 PM
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So sorry to hear that you are going through this. I wish you could go to my T.
It sounds like you need someone who respects you, is caring and warm, lets you go at your own pace, and allows you to voice your fears. |
| granite1
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#13
Jul 18, 2011, 07:53 PM
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Granite,
Trust is soooo hard for you. Can you just take the plunge and know that your t is a certified life gaurd? She won't let you drown but somehow she has to get you in the pool. This can turn into a beautiful thing for you Granite. Don't give up! |
| granite1
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#14
Jul 18, 2011, 07:57 PM
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(((( HUGS ))))
__________________
Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail... 
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| granite1
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#15
Jul 18, 2011, 08:06 PM
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I think your T was trying to get you to trust her and to believe that she does not hate you. She thinks you're lumping her together with other people who you think hate you and she doesn't know what to say or do so that you will believe that she in fact, likes you and wants to help you.
As far as how other Ts would treat you, of course I vote for my T and her gentle manner.  But I think you want to stick with your T. Can you tell her you're not ready to trust her, and that you need to sit on the floor and play games longer until you're ready to talk more? She doesn't know what you want and need from her if you can't tell her. 
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| granite1
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#16
Jul 19, 2011, 02:27 AM
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i really dont know what to say anymore.i think it is time to just back away from everything and just hide.i really appreciate everyones help and i cant thank you guys enough.love you all
__________________
BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that |
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#17
Jul 19, 2011, 02:47 AM
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(((( granite ))))
I can imagine how overwhelming all of this must feel. And I can understand the desire to want to hide....I am living that right now, as a matter of fact. Knowing that PC is here when I need it is huge for me....so know that we are here....(( HUGS ))
__________________
Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail...
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#18
Jul 19, 2011, 03:39 AM
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Quote:
I think she has been very patient with you and not treated you like she hates you or thinks you are mean. She has sat for many sessions with you when you didn't say a word. She has now also heard some of your story. I think switching Ts would be really hard right now--this T has made a lot of progress with you, such as getting you to talk sometimes, and helping foster positive feelings in you towards her. These are big accomplishments of for both of you! What I think is that sometimes our therapists need encouragement and it helps them to know they are helping us. So if you can give her some feedback like that, I think it would be helpful. It sounds like she has some doubts that she has been helping you if she thinks you think she is "one of the bad people who hates you no matter what." Can you correct her on this? Tell her you don't think she is one of the bad people, tell her you don't think she hates you? I think it would help your relationship and therapy if you gave her some positive feedback. That helps give her clues as to what is working and inspiration to keep going. I know you find it scary to talk to her, but if you feel strongly that you like her and want to keep on in therapy with her, then this can help that. I hope you will hang in there with your T.
__________________
"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
| rainbow8
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