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  #1  
Old Jul 18, 2011, 07:05 PM
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granite1 granite1 is offline
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i am trying really hard to not make my T all bad.she was so stern today with me.i was afraid not to talk to her and OMG i don't like that at all.i don't understand why she is doing this.i hate when she makes me afraid to not talk i don't know what is worse not being able to talk or being afraid not to talk.it feels awful to talk to her when i don't want to.i mean she seemed so angry and frustrated .she really pushed me and that scares me.i feel like she is starting to hate me so much.she even said she has had people clients that she has thought of as mean and snotty.does she think i am snotty.at one point she said i need to stop acting like she is torturing me. does she think I'm acting.i was so scared of her.does she not believe anything i say. these things are definitely taken out of context but this is all i took away with todays session.she said that she is doomed to be one of the bad people that i am going to think she hates me no matter what.she said again that she wishes i would trust her and trust the process.does she really hate me is this why she behaved the way she did.i don't understand.i cant make her bad in my mind i need her so bad.i know that i don't like that i need her and i hate to even acknowledge it most times but i do and I'm scared
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  #2  
Old Jul 18, 2011, 07:09 PM
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Omers Omers is offline
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I hate that "trust the process" line.
I think we need to trade T's... my T won't push, says I make her do all the work... and I need someone that will push!

But overall... dunno... I never have understood your T.

Hugs
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that has landed me here
Tired, broken and wearing rags
Wild eyed with fear
-Blackmoores Night
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granite1
  #3  
Old Jul 18, 2011, 07:09 PM
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Amore415 Amore415 is offline
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Um... do you feel like this with her very often? You might try another therapist that makes you feel more comfortable. Just sayin.... you have that option.
  #4  
Old Jul 18, 2011, 07:15 PM
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granite1 granite1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Omers View Post
I hate that "trust the process" line.
I think we need to trade T's... my T won't push, says I make her do all the work... and I need someone that will push!

But overall... dunno... I never have understood your T.

Hugs
i just feel i need to say i'm sorry omers
__________________
BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT

Dx, HUMAN
Rx, no medication for that
  #5  
Old Jul 18, 2011, 07:16 PM
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protector1973 protector1973 is offline
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sorry cant help you. but if shes makes you feel like that i would dump her, could be your own issues tho.
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granite1
  #6  
Old Jul 18, 2011, 07:16 PM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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I don't think that she is a good match for you granite. There are T's out there who could be a better match for you.
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
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granite1
  #7  
Old Jul 18, 2011, 07:17 PM
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granite1 granite1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by protector1973 View Post
sorry cant help you. but if shes makes you feel like that i would dump her, could be your own issues tho.
i guess it could be
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BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT

Dx, HUMAN
Rx, no medication for that
  #8  
Old Jul 18, 2011, 07:18 PM
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granite1 granite1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah View Post
I don't think that she is a good match for you granite. There are T's out there who could be a better match for you.
maybe it is time to quit
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BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT

Dx, HUMAN
Rx, no medication for that
  #9  
Old Jul 18, 2011, 07:33 PM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by granite1 View Post
maybe it is time to quit
Time to switch.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
Thanks for this!
granite1
  #10  
Old Jul 18, 2011, 07:36 PM
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granite1 granite1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah View Post
Time to switch.
not so sure sannah i am quite down and feeling sorry for myself and i kind of just want to give it all up. if this T cant help i dont think any others will do any better it's ok it always is
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BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT

Dx, HUMAN
Rx, no medication for that
  #11  
Old Jul 18, 2011, 07:37 PM
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Omers Omers is offline
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I wish I could overnight my Pdoc to you. I know she is a Pdoc but she is a good T and is awesome at helping people feel safe, cared for and helping people to talk.
__________________
There’s been many a crooked path
that has landed me here
Tired, broken and wearing rags
Wild eyed with fear
-Blackmoores Night
Thanks for this!
granite1
  #12  
Old Jul 18, 2011, 07:49 PM
Butterflies Are Free Butterflies Are Free is offline
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So sorry to hear that you are going through this. I wish you could go to my T.
It sounds like you need someone who respects you, is caring and warm, lets you go at your own pace, and allows you to voice your fears.
Thanks for this!
granite1
  #13  
Old Jul 18, 2011, 07:53 PM
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Kacey2 Kacey2 is offline
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Granite,
Trust is soooo hard for you. Can you just take the plunge and know that your t is a certified life gaurd? She won't let you drown but somehow she has to get you in the pool.

This can turn into a beautiful thing for you Granite. Don't give up!
Thanks for this!
granite1
  #14  
Old Jul 18, 2011, 07:57 PM
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mixedup_emotions mixedup_emotions is offline
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(((( HUGS ))))
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Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail...
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granite1
  #15  
Old Jul 18, 2011, 08:06 PM
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rainbow8 rainbow8 is offline
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I think your T was trying to get you to trust her and to believe that she does not hate you. She thinks you're lumping her together with other people who you think hate you and she doesn't know what to say or do so that you will believe that she in fact, likes you and wants to help you.

As far as how other Ts would treat you, of course I vote for my T and her gentle manner. But I think you want to stick with your T. Can you tell her you're not ready to trust her, and that you need to sit on the floor and play games longer until you're ready to talk more? She doesn't know what you want and need from her if you can't tell her.
Thanks for this!
granite1
  #16  
Old Jul 19, 2011, 02:27 AM
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granite1 granite1 is offline
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i really dont know what to say anymore.i think it is time to just back away from everything and just hide.i really appreciate everyones help and i cant thank you guys enough.love you all
__________________
BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT

Dx, HUMAN
Rx, no medication for that
  #17  
Old Jul 19, 2011, 02:47 AM
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mixedup_emotions mixedup_emotions is offline
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(((( granite ))))

I can imagine how overwhelming all of this must feel. And I can understand the desire to want to hide....I am living that right now, as a matter of fact. Knowing that PC is here when I need it is huge for me....so know that we are here....(( HUGS ))
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Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail...
  #18  
Old Jul 19, 2011, 03:39 AM
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sunrise sunrise is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by granite1 View Post
she said that she is doomed to be one of the bad people that i am going to think she hates me no matter what.she said again that she wishes i would trust her and trust the process.does she really hate me is this why she behaved the way she did.
Granite, she didn't say she hated you. She said she is doomed to be a person you hate. Not vice versa. I don't see any indication that she hates you.

I think she has been very patient with you and not treated you like she hates you or thinks you are mean. She has sat for many sessions with you when you didn't say a word. She has now also heard some of your story. I think switching Ts would be really hard right now--this T has made a lot of progress with you, such as getting you to talk sometimes, and helping foster positive feelings in you towards her. These are big accomplishments of for both of you!

What I think is that sometimes our therapists need encouragement and it helps them to know they are helping us. So if you can give her some feedback like that, I think it would be helpful. It sounds like she has some doubts that she has been helping you if she thinks you think she is "one of the bad people who hates you no matter what." Can you correct her on this? Tell her you don't think she is one of the bad people, tell her you don't think she hates you? I think it would help your relationship and therapy if you gave her some positive feedback. That helps give her clues as to what is working and inspiration to keep going.

I know you find it scary to talk to her, but if you feel strongly that you like her and want to keep on in therapy with her, then this can help that.

I hope you will hang in there with your T.
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Thanks for this!
rainbow8
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