[newbieposter]

Friends,

I have been seeing my T for a year. He is great in every way and is always very supportive. I only see him once a month which works well.

Sometimes these thoughts enter my head which sometimes prevent me talking more openly with him or asking for more help when I need it.

I sometimes struggle with fact that in reality, it is his job to care for me, ask me questions and generally make me feel better. I am paying him for that service....Sometimes I just want to tell him I quit, just to see if he really cares and tries to stop me, or will he just let me walk away.

As I said, he is very supportive and never has done anything to make me think he doesn't care. Sometimes though, I over analyze his comments or actions and try to convince myself that he is saying something, just cause he is paid to do so... I wonder how therapists can genuinely care for so many clients?

Does anyone else ever feel this way?
Peace,
Sarah

[(JD)]

Oh, these thoughts are all so common to therapy! The best thing I can say is... share this (even if you have to print it off and give it to T)...

There is something "beyond" being paid to "care." A person can have a job, and not care... and they don't really do the job, you know? Don't hold it against someone who has decided to spend their life helping others.. because they have to have money to eat and pay bills so they CAN help others. Not everyone can do the job of a T. I'm sure you've met some ppl who plan on going into the field, and you don't see how... they just don't "have" it..? IMO it's a "calling."

Think about how many ppl have been in your life... hadn't you cared about many IRL? Just because it's most efficient to schedule helping others... doesn't make it any less genuine...

The feelings stem from perhaps not having enough ppl IRL who cared for you... so why should a stranger? And you reason that out by saying OH the T is PAID to care... the idea that you are WORTH it... you are worth being cared about... can't enter your mind... ((((hugs))))

[bipolar_bear]

I questioned whether my therapist cared only because I was paying or if she really did care. She seemed surprised that I even asked as in her mind it was obvious how much she cared for me. A good therapist cares about their clients. That is one of the reasons they went into that field.

I would suggest asking him about it. He will tell you honestly how he feels. Don't feel alone I think a lot of people have felt this way.

[Lily]

I think that Ts choose their words carefully and I don't think that he would say something just for the sake of making you feel better because it is his job. I suspect that he does care for you as a client or patient in a geniune way and has the capacity to care for his other clients as well.

I think we all struggle with believing that our Ts care or even that they like us.

I would not test his caring by telling him that you will quit. I have read on this board that people have quit and then end up begging to go back. I think Ts don't question it when we want to quit because it is our life and they trust our judgment.
Letting us go does not mean that they don't care.

I think it is wonderful that your T is supportive and seems to care.

[Lexicon78]

These are very common reactions to therapy and therapists. I know a lot of people have them. I know I used to on occasion. I think in the beginning, yeah it is their job, but after awhile they begin to care and not because they're paid to. I think that mental health workers go into that field because they love helping people so much and are very caring.

[ColoradoK]

`Lily, Lexicon 78, Sky and Bipolar Bear...

Thank you all for your input. I have been looking back over some old posts, and it does seem like many people go through these types of emotions and thoughts.

I think I have to bite the bullet in a sense and trust that he cares for me, not because he is paid.... You mentioned it Sky, but I do have an issue with not feeling like I am worth it, and worth someone caring about.....its a hard trait to break...

Take care all,
Kathy