[skysblue]

To me, time during a therapy session is more precious than gold or diamonds. It has a value that is indeterminate. I desperately don't want to waste that treasure and I flail at attempts to capture as much as I can of the benefit that is contained in those 50 minutes.

Can anyone share how they make the most of this commodity that is finite - time that is so short with T?

[dismantle.repair]

Go with the flow. Don't try too hard, or you spend too much time wondering about whether or not you're saying what you should, if you're wasting both you and your T's time...
Let whatever comes, come naturally.
Don't force it... But at the same time, don't restrain it.

[Wren_]

Thanks for asking this Sky I know for me the minutes seem to get wasted often by the times I waste dissociating then I waste time worrying about the time wasted which doesn't help at all I really like the advice given by dismantle repair

[crazycanbegood]

i close my eyes, speak slowly and calmly, and hope that the time passes slowly

[rainbow_rose]

while I often have topics I want to discuss, i try not to control how (or if) we get to those topics. so far, i feel my therapy is unfolding the way it's supposed to and will continue to do so. i try be how I am (and how I'm feeling) in the moment, even if that means i dissociate.

and sometimes, the best thing I can do is to simply show up. que sera sera.

[vaffla]

Originally Posted by skysblue

To me, time during a therapy session is more precious than gold or diamonds. It has a value that is indeterminate. I desperately don't want to waste that treasure and I flail at attempts to capture as much as I can of the benefit that is contained in those 50 minutes.

Can anyone share how they make the most of this commodity that is finite - time that is so short with T?

I empathize with that so much...

I don't think there is such a thing as 'wasting time' in therapy, other than those that come and refuse to do any work what so ever. Struggling, dissociation, silence, internal battles and wars that have yet to surface, none of that is a waste. It's just a part of the process, neither good nor bad. So my answer would be - reframing how I view my sessions. I would not view them as being a waste of either of one's time, but another step in the therapeutic process, doing my work as I should be doing it.

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by stormyangels

I don't think there is such a thing as 'wasting time' in therapy, other than those that come and refuse to do any work what so ever. Struggling, dissociation, silence, internal battles and wars that have yet to surface, none of that is a waste. It's just a part of the process, neither good nor bad. So my answer would be - reframing how I view my sessions. I would not view them as being a waste of either of one's time, but another step in the therapeutic process, doing my work as I should be doing it.

Ok, I agree. There is always something that is gained. Almost always I have a ton of stuff I want to talk about and I don't know which topics will be the most maximally beneficial given we have such a short amount of time. Sometimes I wonder if only 50 minutes a week will move the process forward. Wouldn't it be great if 3x a week were affordable?

[rainbow8]

I don't want to get people jealous but I see a world of difference between my 50 minute sessions with my former T and my 90 minute sessions with my current T. I know what you mean about the seconds ticking away. It always seemed like I barely started and my T was saying "it's time to stop." That rarely happens now. I can go slower and not watch the clock. If there's any way to have longer sessions, that's what I suggest. Less often but longer.

[dizgirl2011]

This is an issue thats really been bugging me lately in therapy, as the time just flies, it seems like I have just sat down when I am being told I have ten minutes left!!!! Its really bothering me and I have told my therapist but it doesnt change anything. 50 minutes seems like 5 a lot of the time !

[delicatefade26]

I really wish my T did longer sessions...it never feels like enough time...at the end of one session something was really bothering me and at first I couldn't figure out what it was (I had revealed some deep stuff that day so I thought it might be that) but then after we did our prayer I busted out crying because I realized what it was and I told him..."I don't want to leave" so he sat with me while I cried for a while...it was nice and the most healing thing that has happened to me since I've started (I will never forget that feeling)

[sunrise]

I only see my T every 2-4 weeks, so we have 90 minute sessions as we found 50 minutes wasn't long enough with that interval. 90 minutes is great! There just seems like so much more time to discuss things and get deeper, especially when we don't see each other frequently.

I think what helps me not "waste time" in therapy is being responsible for what we talk about. I bring up the topics. T doesn't decide what we will discuss. I know that if we didn't discuss what I wanted to but some other thing, that it is my fault only, and that next time I can do better and make sure what needs to be discussed gets discussed. That doesn't mean I have every session planned out as sometimes I will just sit there and allow whatever needs to be discussed to manifest itself. Sometimes, it surprises me! Other times I do go to session with a definite topic in mind, usually something that has been looming large in my life. Often in session, there is an "A plot" and a "B plot"--to borrow some lingo from TV scripts. Or with my 90 minute sessions, I may have an A plot and 2-3 B plots. It varies.

There are also relationship building conversations, rather than discrete things I want to work on. I have come to see these as very valuable rather than detracting from the main topic(s). So I let them happen and they are nice. Like last time, T and I spent the first part of session talking about what beverages we like and why--it was a whole littany of things. Like alcohol, coffee, tea, lemonade, pop, etc. It was fun. I now know exactly what T likes in his coffee and he knows my favorite kind of tea. And we know each other hardly ever ever drinks alcohol and why. I also know he hates lemonade but I really like it, and this is not the end of the world! We must have spent 10 minutes on this, but it was not a waste, but delightful. When we have delightful conversations together, it draws us closer and makes future conversations on difficult topics easier.

[Sannah]

Sounds like you could benefit by learning to live in the moment? I needed to learn this and it is really cool...........

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Sounds like you could benefit by learning to live in the moment? I needed to learn this and it is really cool...........

Living in the moment is cool, the problem is, the therapy "moment" isn't long enough.

[Sannah]

But I'll bet that Skysblue doesn't get to live in any of the moments in therapy so living in 55 minutes of it is better then none of it.

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by Sannah

But I'll bet that Skysblue doesn't get to live in any of the moments in therapy so living in 55 minutes of it is better then none of it.

huh? I don't what?

[Sannah]

The way that you described how you "attack" your therapy session to me sounds like you aren't living in the moment during any of it.

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by Sannah

The way that you described how you "attack" your therapy session to me sounds like you aren't living in the moment during any of it.

Well, dang diddly, gonna try my darndest today... Not sure exactly how but hey, what fun to give it a try.

[Sannah]

Good luck!! Tell us how it goes?