[Wren_]

Where you just leave a session feeling it went so badly and in tears and feeling worse than when it began

[rainbow8]

I HATE when that happens but I don't think we do it to ourselves. We're not to blame for not being able to say what we need to. Sometimes our T "goofs up" too. It's no one's fault but I hate it just the same.

Sometimes I think a session was a waste but when I think more about it I realize it wasn't!

[SoupDragon]

I always leave feeling crap, but it makes a change from feeling numb, so I sort of think it is positive in a negative kind of way

[unaluna]

My T didn't realize I was leaving feeling like crap until I happened to tell him, not really on purpose. I kinda thought that was how I was supposed to feel when I left. This was a while ago so I am not clear on how it all changed. He said something about how I was not comfortable with transitions. I'm like, no, my cousins were big babies about my aunt and uncle leaving when we babysat them, but I never was - I was always "too big" to cry, I was always supposed to be a big girl (and am I ever now!). I said I hated that he left me at the inside door. He started walking me to the outside door (still all inside his little office) unless someone is already in the waiting room adjacent, usually there isn't. Making the transition easier, I guess, more pleasant? I would just feel ABANDONED waiting for the elevator by myself. I don't anymore, I feel pleasant, almost happy. Let your T help you with this. We are assuming too much, that we don't have to. We are TOO good of kids.

[childofyen]

Originally Posted by hankster

Let your T help you with this. We are assuming too much, that we don't have to. We are TOO good of kids.

Hankster, you're so wise.

Tigergirl, I agree with Hankster. Remember, though, that you're not alone when you leave T... you still have us! Awwww... how corny sweet is that?! But still true.

[skysblue]

Did the session really go badly or did it dredge up some painful emotions that need addressing?

[Butterflies Are Free]

Sorry this happened to you - happened to me yesterday after a session because I got triggered by something my T said - it is hard trying to work through it.

[unaluna]

I realized that after I posted, I am pretty oblivious in session, unfeeling, etc, not looking for sympathy here or anything, just stating facts - and that a lot of people really do get much more upset in session on a regular basis than I do. if I get a little squirt of tears it's a national holiday. but I still had the foggy notion that leaving miserable was somehow better and more therapeutic and meant I was working harder, than leaving happy. So for whatever that's worth to other like-minded simpletons, if any exist! Don't be COY! (tee-hee!)

[crazycanbegood]

im convinced im a masochist

i do leave t alot feeling lousy, i usually put it up too me, but it never dawned on me that i could be triggered by something t has said...
and the more i think about it, the more i think i have just had an *ah-ha* moment... he says things sometimes and i cannot figure out why he is telling me? what good is it doing? and sometimes it hurts

thanks for this.

[Wren_]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I HATE when that happens but I don't think we do it to ourselves. We're not to blame for not being able to say what we need to. Sometimes our T "goofs up" too. It's no one's fault but I hate it just the same.

Sometimes I think a session was a waste but when I think more about it I realize it wasn't!

I'm learning they aren't a waste also, I still don't like it though especially leaving feeling horrible where it makes the inbetween time feel more unstable and makes it easier for bad thoughts to creep in. I used to always think it was my fault as well, and still feel that at times, trying to learn it's just the way it is at times. Thanks Rainbow

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

I always leave feeling crap, but it makes a change from feeling numb, so I sort of think it is positive in a negative kind of way

Have you told your T about always feeling like that at the end?

Originally Posted by hankster

My T didn't realize I was leaving feeling like crap until I happened to tell him, not really on purpose. I kinda thought that was how I was supposed to feel when I left. This was a while ago so I am not clear on how it all changed. He said something about how I was not comfortable with transitions. I'm like, no, my cousins were big babies about my aunt and uncle leaving when we babysat them, but I never was - I was always "too big" to cry, I was always supposed to be a big girl (and am I ever now!). I said I hated that he left me at the inside door. He started walking me to the outside door (still all inside his little office) unless someone is already in the waiting room adjacent, usually there isn't. Making the transition easier, I guess, more pleasant? I would just feel ABANDONED waiting for the elevator by myself. I don't anymore, I feel pleasant, almost happy. Let your T help you with this. We are assuming too much, that we don't have to. We are TOO good of kids.

I like the way your T walks you to the outside door now and is trying to help it be easier, I agree with CoY also, that you are wise, thanks

Originally Posted by childofyen

Hankster, you're so wise.

Tigergirl, I agree with Hankster. Remember, though, that you're not alone when you leave T... you still have us! Awwww... how corny sweet is that?! But still true.

thanks CoY

[Wren_]

Originally Posted by skysblue

Did the session really go badly or did it dredge up some painful emotions that need addressing?

Both really

Originally Posted by Butterflies Are Free

Sorry this happened to you - happened to me yesterday after a session because I got triggered by something my T said - it is hard trying to work through it.

I just read about that

Originally Posted by hankster

I realized that after I posted, I am pretty oblivious in session, unfeeling, etc, not looking for sympathy here or anything, just stating facts - and that a lot of people really do get much more upset in session on a regular basis than I do. if I get a little squirt of tears it's a national holiday. but I still had the foggy notion that leaving miserable was somehow better and more therapeutic and meant I was working harder, than leaving happy. So for whatever that's worth to other like-minded simpletons, if any exist! Don't be COY! (tee-hee!)

I know I'm way way way overthetop ridiculously sensitive and get far too upset, so frustrating

Originally Posted by crazycanbegood

im convinced im a masochist

sure can feel that way can't it

Originally Posted by jbmomg

i do leave t alot feeling lousy, i usually put it up too me, but it never dawned on me that i could be triggered by something t has said...
and the more i think about it, the more i think i have just had an *ah-ha* moment... he says things sometimes and i cannot figure out why he is telling me? what good is it doing? and sometimes it hurts

thanks for this.

I hope you can talk to your T about this and see if he can help with the triggering now you know it can happen

[ECHOES]

Because we are disappointed?

[Wren_]

Because we are disappointed?

That is so true and it can happen in so many different ways. Thanks ... I think that word gives me a key I needed

[skysblue]

idk, but it seems to me it's a necessary part of the 'process'. We working with our minds here and it's definitely not going to be pat and easy. There's a lot of disruption going on and like someone has posted here before, 'therapy ain't for wimps'. Like the analogy of remodeling your house. Before you can have the improvement, you must first experience the dust, dirt and commotion and that is never fun in a remodeling project. But you put up with it because you know at the end you'll have a completely new and refurbished place to live. And such is 'remodeling' our minds, methinks

[Wren_]

Thanks Sky I like the analogy
Ok so ........ dust, dirt and commotion is good? because it's necessary
Do you think we will see nice finished "rooms" along the way?

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by tigergirl

Thanks Sky I like the analogy
Ok so ........ dust, dirt and commotion is good? because it's necessary
Do you think we will see nice finished "rooms" along the way?

Maybe some 'finished' rooms but more likely envisioning the finished rooms as they're being remodeled. A slow 'coming forth'...