Maybe I can do this on my own?

IDK, My T said very emphatically that looking in a mirror and giving oneself winks, smiles, compliments ("positive affirmations" if you prefer) is sooo baloney. She said it was one of the post-hippie era concepts, & got dropped very quickly.

My healing is a journey and T is only one part of that journey. Life expierences, books, relationships etc can be powerful tools on the journey toward reaching your ultimate goals. For me I did the books, self help did everything I could do on my own then went to T. Sure you don't have to wait that long but there is much to be gained on the part of the journey that involves reading books and gaining info by yourself. For me I had to be there to get here.

Also, I'd say that a person can know what they need at one point and it is Ok to need something differently at another. It's a life journey for me and T at this time works for me exactly because I did the other things first.

I think it can be done on your own, maybe not for everyone. I attended two 6 week full time group therapy classes. I learned more from the other people in the group than from the therapists. But I learnt the most in those sessions from myself. I have healed alot of issues on my own and without that aide of books. I am not saying that therapy is not good or the way for some.

I still have a t whom I've had for five years but we have an unconventional relationship. I will call her when I am having some bad psychosis or something and she will help get me what I need.

For me I find it unhelpful to trudge threw my past repeatedly or dissect every aspect of my being. They way I have found most useful is forgiveness, acceptance, changing things I can, never stop learning and growing, working on myself. I have been able to do it by myself by listening and paying attention to myself, trusting myself and just plain wanting it. I believe nobody knows me better than I know myself. I know what I need to challenge and work on.

I can see how a t could be useful to some but I really believe it can also work for some to go it alone.

I noticed in group therapy that the really desperate ones made rapid progress, while the rest grew more slowly. The ones who were only slightly dissatisfied didn't grow at all.

It is a paid relationship and it doesn't look real.

But therapy may change your views on what is and isn't real. In fact, I hope it does.

I've never had defenses of the kind you describe. I've been a teacher most of my life, in one way or the other, and am profoundly aware that you can learn all kinds of things from all kinds of people in all kinds of situations. I've never felt superior to T's in general, or the T's that I've worked with, although I have un-chosen quite a few T's that struck me, in the interview process, as not the sharpest knives in the drawer (as they say in the South). Humility, or the lack thereof, hasn't been an issue for me either.

The only thing that has ever kept me out of therapy was an unwillingness to deal with what I knew I needed to deal with-- in different ways at different times, issues from my past. I always knew that the right T would be able to help me with this and perhaps more importantly, I had *hope* that it would change my life in the way that I wanted it to change.

Anne

I am still sceptical of this. Does *look* but real, but *is*? Not sure, I buy it (not pun intended).

So I am not sure I want this particular view of mine to be changed. Despite being awkward as hell when it comes to people, I have few people in my life, real relationships (that even look and feel real). It is emotional investment, but it is real.

For me the t-relationship is a training. You know, army training is not real war, eventhough it feels like that. Training for job is not real job, even if it include reality stimulations... I just fail to see how different therapeutic relationship is from other model situations. I don't mind, it is what it is and it has its merits, but real life it is not.

shrugs, yeah... that is what I sorta need.



Maybe because perfection is unattainable and the closer you get the slower the process approaching it is? It may not do anything with desperation and humility. After all as a political scientist I can say that the poor countries grow much faster when they manage to start their economy than the first world ones that maintain their standards...


I see the point here. Yeah.... maybe past IS past and just moving on is the best thing? Why mess yourself up over and over about the same thing? Maybe some things cannot be resolved... and should be just left behind?


Dunno. We Czechs are cynical at whole... so hugging a teddybear won't cut it for most of us. And to be honest it *does* sound off and I simply don't see how can it help most people.


oh, I am definitelly emotionally immature in some aspects, I admit that.
And yeah, I guess I could start where I am and not thrust myself into the deep **** straight on.... but it may feel a bit wasteful. *shrugs*



It does feel like that at parts, it really does.
And I am think I stated my reasons why I am torn quite clearly. Poor Eastie in not best place in her life.