[Asiablue]

I really don't know if i want to go back. I keep going over it and over it in my head and i just can't decide. It's been 7 weeks since i was there, and i feel so much better for having not having a permanently open emotional wound.

I know i have stuff to work out, i know i probably should go back, but i also know on a daily basis i cope just fine without it.

yuk. Does anyone have any wisdom??

[Ygrec23]

Originally Posted by Asiablue

I really don't know if i want to go back. I keep going over it and over it in my head and i just can't decide. It's been 7 weeks since i was there, and i feel so much better for having not having a permanently open emotional wound. I know i have stuff to work out, i know i probably should go back, but i also know on a daily basis i cope just fine without it. yuk. Does anyone have any wisdom??

So far as I'm concerned, you only go to therapy when you have no other choice: it hurts so bad you just have to do something. You may have stuff to work out but unless it's driving you nuts you have other options. It's entirely possible in some circumstances to work things out while you're living your regular life, without professional help. It just depends on how uncomfortable you are.

I spent several years thinking about self-destruction every day for hours. So when I got the opportunity to go to therapy, I really wanted to go and try it. It was therapy or forget the whole thing. I'd been to therapy many years previously when I wasn't in such bad shape and it didn't work. So I stopped. And believe me, you yourself will KNOW you have to go when the right time comes.

So, don't fret about it. If therapy doesn't present itself as an absolute necessity, like an ER room to a heart attack victim, then you don't really need to go. Just my way of thinking! Take care.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by Asiablue

I really don't know if i want to go back. I keep going over it and over it in my head and i just can't decide. It's been 7 weeks since i was there, and i feel so much better for having not having a permanently open emotional wound.

I know i have stuff to work out, i know i probably should go back, but i also know on a daily basis i cope just fine without it.

yuk. Does anyone have any wisdom??

I do not have any wisdom, but I can identify. It was nice this week not to feel sick the night before the appointment, throw up right before it, spend the time after the appointment in a frustrated rage, and the next 24 hours fighting off si urges. It is like I lost three days to therapy each week.

[beautiful.mess]

No advice but I can relate. My t had to cancel on me this week, and has not called me back yet to reschedule. At first I was a bit frantic, but now I feel ok. I started to fantasize about him NEVER calling me back, which partly frightens me and partly makes me feel like I just pulled a fast one because I wouldn't have to go anymore; like a kid who got to stay home from school on a gorgeous day and they're not sick enough to stay home. And I KNOW I need to go, but it's just so hard for me to go through with it. It mostly sucks the life out of me.

I have a love/hate relationship with therapy in general; right now I feel rather ambivalent.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I do not have any wisdom, but I can identify. It was nice this week not to feel sick the night before the appointment, throw up right before it, spend the time after the appointment in a frustrated rage, and the next 24 hours fighting off si urges. It is like I lost three days to therapy each week.

NO JOKE! My last T made such a dent in my week that I felt that the week was divided between T and RECOVERY FROM T. Just when i started feeling better, I was on my way back.....Unless there is some emotional paycheck (if it's delayed that's fine, and I'm willing to wade through some crap to get there) then I think you really do need to say, on balance, this isn't working. For me, I'm thinking that it was the "fit" with my former T that tipped the balance and I'm willing to try to "trade up." But sometimes, t itself is the problem. It's worked for me before, and that gives me hope (that word does come with some baggage of its own!).

[Asiablue]

Here's the thing, i am well just now. Even better for having a break from all the angst therapy brings. But i have thoughts and behaviours that i would really like to get sorted, because i believe/hope that if i can sort them that the reoccurring episodes of depression will stop forever.

However right now, i really quite like being able to breathe and not be in a perpetual state of gearing up to therapy/recovering from therapy. I would like to go back but at same time just feel like i don't want the feelings therapy brings out.

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