[DelusionsDaily]

What is your definition of attachment in terms of your relationship with T? And is attachment necessary? Is it possible to still do very good work in therapy with out it?

I have done pretty well in therapy and dont consider myself attached. Yes...I do trust my T but anything beyond that is a no go for me. Then again maybe there is more there than I am willing to acknowledge intellectually or emotionally...

Any thoughts are appreciated...

[OneRedRose]

I believe attachment is dependant on the T and the client, Ive had people ive seen in the past that I was never attached too, and when the sessions finished I felt like Id wasted time rather than fixed, I have developed an attachment with my current T first time ever really since my school counciler, and i actually feel like I am making progress for once in my life, is that a result of the attachment? to me yes, although others might say shes just very good at her job, my friend has done very well in therapy and sings her T's praises but has no attachment to her T and couldnt care less if he terminated and switched her over as long as she still got better, so its dependant on how good the T is and how the client likes to interract...if that makes sense?

my definition of attachment is, wanting to see T, wanting to talk to T and tell them everything, trusting them and only them (in terms of other members of staff)

I have no idea what the technical definition of attachment is, but I've always felt an attachment for my T's. I guess for me that just means I trust them, I'm comfortable with them, etc. I've never had attachment problems so it has never really come up as an issue in my therapy.

I would think it is important to have a degree of trust and comfort with your T in order for the best therapy results, but I don't think making progress in therapy is totally dependent on a secure attachment (as evidenced by people here on PC who struggle with attachment issues of many varieties yet do make progress as they work toward better attachment.)

[skysblue]

Melissa - do issues come up between you and T? Do you find yourself having to resolve those issues? Then, you're attached. If not, you're not attached and you're not having the opportunity to have real-time addressing of real-time issues with T which, of course, duplicate issues we need to address in RL.

The book, "Attachment in Psychotherapy" by David Wallin is great.

I'm wondering if cognitive therapies don't depend on this so much -CBT; DBT, etc.

Originally Posted by skysblue

Melissa - do issues come up between you and T? Do you find yourself having to resolve those issues? Then, you're attached. If not, you're not attached and you're not having the opportunity to have real-time addressing of real-time issues with T which, of course, duplicate issues we need to address in RL.

The book, "Attachment in Psychotherapy" by David Wallin is great.

I'm wondering if cognitive therapies don't depend on this so much -CBT; DBT, etc.

I'm not sure I agree with this. It seems to me if you are having problems with your T, you don't have a secure attachment. You are either perhaps too dependent or not trusting. People who don't have to deal with those kinds of issues generally attach easily and naturally to their T and therefore there are not the conflicts that come from an insecure attachment that has resulted from a difficulty in trusting or insecurity causing over-dependence.

My T and I have no conflicts over our relationship. I feel very securely attached. We work well together and do work on real-time issues all the time. It doesn't take attachment issues with your T to be able to make progress on real-life issues.

[DelusionsDaily]

I guess the reason I ask is because alot of the posts on attachment seem almost unhealthy. I am not sure what to consider as a healthy attchment...I trust her but I dont think my life would be shattered if she were to retire or whatever. I do feel like we work through my real life issues and that I am making progress. Even she say I am working hard and making great progress on the big issue right now (shock!). then maybe my issuecright that I am working on may be interferring with my the attachment and determine whether it is healthy or unhealthy. Sorry I probably dont make sense.

[skysblue]

I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. It sounds like whatever you're doing in therapy is working. Don't complicate things (not yet anyway )

[JustWannaDisappear]

I wouldn't say my T and I have issues. And I don't know if I'm "attached". I do trust her more and more each session. I would be sad if she decided to refer me elsewhere.

I'm not sure I really get the T vs client issues. I know their can be misunderstandings but nothing I've ever had to work through with my T. At least not yet. She did say something when I first started that really bothered me, but I didn't address it with her.

[Ygrec23]

"Attachment theory" began fifty or sixty years ago with the English doctor and psychoanalyst, John Bowlby. After qualifying as a doctor and a psychoanalyst he became seriously involved in early childhood development in the 1950's while working with the United Nations. He became convinced, after many years of close observation, that the early childhood relationship between baby and mother formed the child for all future human relationships and most of the child's later emotional life. He published a seminal trilogy of works on attachment theory in 1969 and the 1970's. His work was controversial at the time. But unlike the writings and theorizings of all other psychoanalysts, Bowlby's theories were capable of being tested in a scientific manner. And they were so tested over the following decades.

Today attachment theory is pretty much accepted as standard by many people in the mental health field. Its conclusions have been verified over and over. Good attachment and bad attachment are pretty well understood. People who've had good attachment relations with their early life caregivers usually have positive future mental health, though for all kinds of reasons, genetic and environmental, even people with good early attachment may develop later pathology. Those with bad early attachment follow specific patterns in their later development. Some T's are sufficiently trained in attachment theory as to be able to discern in their patients whether their early attachment experience was positive or negative.

If negative, adult attachment relations may be affected, for example as between T and patient. T may be able, by observing a patient's attachment behavior with T, to understand something of what may have gone wrong early in the patient's life. I'm not entirely clear as to whether or not it matters very much if a patient him or herself knows or understands their own attachment history. There are a number of new therapies that have been propounded over the past ten years based on what is being discovered with regard to both attachment theory and physical, neurological aspects of behavior. If you'd like to know more about it, you might Google "Dan Siegel," "Allan Schore" and "David Karen." Take care.

[Dr.Muffin]

Originally Posted by MELISSSAD81

What is your definition of attachment in terms of your relationship with T? And is attachment necessary? Is it possible to still do very good work in therapy with out it?

I have done pretty well in therapy and dont consider myself attached. Yes...I do trust my T but anything beyond that is a no go for me. Then again maybe there is more there than I am willing to acknowledge intellectually or emotionally...

Any thoughts are appreciated...

i think that if you have a good collaborative relationship with your therapist and you trust that they have your best interest at heart and in mind, then you're good!

[Dr.Muffin]

generally speaking, attachment is about your approach to relationships. its not whether or not you have a relationship, its how you tend to feel in relationships.

are you someone who values keeping a person around more than anything and are willing to sacrifice whatever you need to sacrifice in order to have them? (anxious)

or are you a person who tends to downplay the importance of relationships or having others around...maybe you could take em or leave em? (dismissive)

or maybe youre a person who is scared to death of having people get close because there is a fear that they will somehow engulf you/harm you? (avoidant)

or you might be a person who values relationship and companionship and expect that relationships will be mutually beneficial and end well? (secure)

it seems to me that when people are speaking of attachment around PC they're usually speaking of anxious or avoidant attachment styles and how that tends to play out in their therapy.

[PTSDlovemycats]

Dr. Muffin is right. And I know that I have an anxious attachment.

[stopdog]

The one t I recently saw thought I had attachment issues (dismissive avoidant is what she said).
But I am not sure I agree or if she was correct, what difference it really made.