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#1
Oct 10, 2011, 06:47 PM
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...In tears after T appt. Can't say much more except I flipping hate myself for being so chicken...
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 skysblue
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#2
Oct 10, 2011, 06:48 PM
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I'm sorry.
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#3
Oct 10, 2011, 06:50 PM
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Elli Beth. Sound like you are having a hard time. I dont know if this relates but it takes me time to get some things out especially if they are big. Relax it will happen. Take care of yourself.
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#4
Oct 10, 2011, 06:51 PM
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One step forward, two steps back Elli-Beth.
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#5
Oct 10, 2011, 06:52 PM
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oh no!!! I am so sorry.
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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#7
Oct 10, 2011, 07:10 PM
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Oh, I know that feeling!! I get SO frustrated with myself when I can't get stuff out. I'll spend all week planning what I'm going to say or do, and then just chicken out in session and sit there like a bump on a log. Hate it!! So sorry you're in pain. Maybe next time? Please don't give up.
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#8
Oct 10, 2011, 07:25 PM
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(((Elli-Beth))) Sorry you had a rough time in session...and left crying...must be the day for it...I bawled in the bathroom right after mine...ugh therapy...
__________________
"Wake me up...when September ends" 
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#9
Oct 10, 2011, 07:53 PM
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i'm sorry.hope you can share when you can calm down.sending safe hugs
__________________
BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT  Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that |
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#10
Oct 10, 2011, 08:04 PM
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((((Elli-beth))))
That's a shame Hope your next session is better.
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#11
Oct 10, 2011, 08:37 PM
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Quote:
You did what you COULD do for today. Sometimes just showing up is all we can manage, and enough. You went to therapy. You posted here. To me, those are two brave things to do. Be gentle with you
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#12
Oct 10, 2011, 09:09 PM
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Quote:
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#13
Oct 10, 2011, 09:18 PM
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((((((Elli-Beth)))))
You're right. Sometimes, it does suck and that is ok. Don't give up! You ARE brave!
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#14
Oct 10, 2011, 09:45 PM
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T confronted me about hiding "the issue" from him. He was really really firm, like he was mad but he didn't want to scare me, because I scare easily and he knows it.
But I was still too scared to say a word and I had to friggin write again. Now its like 5 hours later and my words are still stuck. And it feels like is mad at me. And "the issue" is still there. And I have to try to appear "normal" at work tomorrow when I'm a mess. I just want my safe happy goofy loving T back. He was the only safe part of my life. Now he's all firm and disappointed. |
| FourRedheads, WePow
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#15
Oct 10, 2011, 09:49 PM
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Well, you know, the really cool thing about therapists is that they can be all firm and disappointed... and still be safe. I don't know your T, but if he's anything like mine, your relationship is intact and your T is still the same guy he was when he was happy and goofy. Same T, different feeling. Goofy will return; trust me.
__________________
Conversation with my therapist: Doc: "You know, for the past few weeks you've seemed very disconnected from your emotions when you're here." Me: "I'm not disconnected from my emotions. I just don't feel anything when I'm here." (Pause) Me: "Doc, why are you banging your head against the arm of your chair?" Doc: "Because I'm not close enough to a wall." It's official. I can even make therapists crazy. |
| Flooded, rainbow_rose
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#16
Oct 11, 2011, 06:25 AM
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Its the next morning now and its still scary. I'm stuttering so badly I don't want to go to work, but I have to because of todays schedule. And I really don't want to go back to T tomorrow. He was my only safe place and now he's not. He was the one who could help me move past the stuttering and now he's the trigger. I'm just ready to run and hide but I can't because I have to do responsible crap like work.
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| WePow
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#17
Oct 11, 2011, 06:38 AM
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Quote:
hang in there, Elli-Beth. Even though it's hard to believe right now, you're still safe with your therapist.
__________________
Happiness cannot be found through great effort and willpower, but is already present, in open relaxation and letting go. Don't strain yourself, there is nothing to do or undo. Whatever momentarily arises in the body-mind Has no real importance at all, has little reality whatsoever. Don't believe in the reality of good and bad experiences; they are today's ephemeral weather, like rainbows in the sky. ~Venerable Lama Gendun Rinpoche~ 
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#18
Oct 11, 2011, 07:38 AM
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Why do you think he took such a firm stance Elli-Beth? Surely he must know how sensitive you are to the way he approaches you?
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#19
Oct 11, 2011, 09:20 AM
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(((Elli-beth)))
I know the feeling. |
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#20
Oct 11, 2011, 09:58 AM
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I'm SO scared to go back! Logically I know he's there to help, but I feel like I'm in trouble all over again for something I didn't know how to control. |
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#21
Oct 11, 2011, 10:59 AM
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Quote:
So, was it a big problem for you last week? Maybe you didn't feel the need to discuss it because you were handling ok??? If it was a problem and you just admitted it to him, that's ok! You can discuss things when you are ready to discuss them- that's your choice Elli-Beth. I'll bet he wasn't so mad as he was disappointed that you didn't confide in him. He wants to help you- not hinder your progress. Can you ask him tomorrow why he reacted the way he did? |
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#22
Oct 11, 2011, 03:09 PM
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I'm pretty sure I'm not going to go tomorrow. I just don't want to deal with him right now.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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