Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Oct 10, 2011, 06:47 PM
Elli-Beth's Avatar
Elli-Beth Elli-Beth is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Posts: 675
...In tears after T appt. Can't say much more except I flipping hate myself for being so chicken...
Thanks for this!
skysblue

advertisement
  #2  
Old Oct 10, 2011, 06:48 PM
unaluna's Avatar
unaluna unaluna is online now
Elder Harridan x-hankster
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 42,261
I'm sorry.
  #3  
Old Oct 10, 2011, 06:50 PM
DelusionsDaily's Avatar
DelusionsDaily DelusionsDaily is offline
Conflicted...
 
Member Since: Jul 2010
Location: The darkness
Posts: 3,356
Elli Beth. Sound like you are having a hard time. I dont know if this relates but it takes me time to get some things out especially if they are big. Relax it will happen. Take care of yourself.
  #4  
Old Oct 10, 2011, 06:51 PM
beautiful.mess's Avatar
beautiful.mess beautiful.mess is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: Chicago
Posts: 324
One step forward, two steps back Elli-Beth.
  #5  
Old Oct 10, 2011, 06:52 PM
WePow's Avatar
WePow WePow is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Oct 2006
Location: Everywhere and Nowhere
Posts: 6,588
oh no!!! I am so sorry.
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~
  #6  
Old Oct 10, 2011, 07:09 PM
Hope-Full's Avatar
Hope-Full Hope-Full is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 673
((((Elli-beth))))
__________________
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
Go ahead. Read my blog. Really. It's pretty good.
  #7  
Old Oct 10, 2011, 07:10 PM
Anonymous32732
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Oh, I know that feeling!! I get SO frustrated with myself when I can't get stuff out. I'll spend all week planning what I'm going to say or do, and then just chicken out in session and sit there like a bump on a log. Hate it!! So sorry you're in pain. Maybe next time? Please don't give up.
  #8  
Old Oct 10, 2011, 07:25 PM
delicatefade26's Avatar
delicatefade26 delicatefade26 is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: My Wonderland
Posts: 811
(((Elli-Beth))) Sorry you had a rough time in session...and left crying...must be the day for it...I bawled in the bathroom right after mine...ugh therapy...
__________________
"Wake me up...when September ends"
  #9  
Old Oct 10, 2011, 07:53 PM
granite1's Avatar
granite1 granite1 is offline
running with scissors
 
Member Since: Aug 2009
Location: in my head
Posts: 15,961
i'm sorry.hope you can share when you can calm down.sending safe hugs
__________________
BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT

Dx, HUMAN
Rx, no medication for that
  #10  
Old Oct 10, 2011, 08:04 PM
Anonymous33425
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
((((Elli-beth))))
That's a shame Hope your next session is better.
  #11  
Old Oct 10, 2011, 08:37 PM
Anonymous29412
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elli-Beth View Post
...In tears after T appt. Can't say much more except I flipping hate myself for being so chicken...
(((((((Elli-Beth)))))))

You did what you COULD do for today. Sometimes just showing up is all we can manage, and enough.

You went to therapy. You posted here. To me, those are two brave things to do.

Be gentle with you
  #12  
Old Oct 10, 2011, 09:09 PM
FourRedheads's Avatar
FourRedheads FourRedheads is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: ...
Posts: 715
Quote:
Originally Posted by treehouse View Post
(((((((Elli-Beth)))))))

You went to therapy. You posted here. To me, those are two brave things to do.
I'm quoting treehouse here so you'll read these words another time. I'm sorry, Elli-Beth. Many gentle hugs to you.
  #13  
Old Oct 10, 2011, 09:18 PM
Anonymous32887
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
((((((Elli-Beth)))))

You're right. Sometimes, it does suck and that is ok. Don't give up!

You ARE brave!
  #14  
Old Oct 10, 2011, 09:45 PM
Elli-Beth's Avatar
Elli-Beth Elli-Beth is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Posts: 675
T confronted me about hiding "the issue" from him. He was really really firm, like he was mad but he didn't want to scare me, because I scare easily and he knows it.

But I was still too scared to say a word and I had to friggin write again. Now its like 5 hours later and my words are still stuck. And it feels like is mad at me. And "the issue" is still there. And I have to try to appear "normal" at work tomorrow when I'm a mess.

I just want my safe happy goofy loving T back. He was the only safe part of my life. Now he's all firm and disappointed.
Thanks for this!
FourRedheads, WePow
  #15  
Old Oct 10, 2011, 09:49 PM
PreacherHeckler's Avatar
PreacherHeckler PreacherHeckler is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Close to the Adirondacks but not close enough
Posts: 578
Well, you know, the really cool thing about therapists is that they can be all firm and disappointed... and still be safe. I don't know your T, but if he's anything like mine, your relationship is intact and your T is still the same guy he was when he was happy and goofy. Same T, different feeling. Goofy will return; trust me.
__________________
Conversation with my therapist:

Doc: "You know, for the past few weeks you've seemed very disconnected from your emotions when you're here."
Me: "I'm not disconnected from my emotions. I just don't feel anything when I'm here."
(Pause)
Me: "Doc, why are you banging your head against the arm of your chair?"
Doc: "Because I'm not close enough to a wall."

It's official. I can even make therapists crazy.
Thanks for this!
Flooded, rainbow_rose
  #16  
Old Oct 11, 2011, 06:25 AM
Elli-Beth's Avatar
Elli-Beth Elli-Beth is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Posts: 675
Its the next morning now and its still scary. I'm stuttering so badly I don't want to go to work, but I have to because of todays schedule. And I really don't want to go back to T tomorrow. He was my only safe place and now he's not. He was the one who could help me move past the stuttering and now he's the trigger. I'm just ready to run and hide but I can't because I have to do responsible crap like work.
Thanks for this!
WePow
  #17  
Old Oct 11, 2011, 06:38 AM
rainbow_rose's Avatar
rainbow_rose rainbow_rose is offline
looking for rainbows
 
Member Since: May 2011
Posts: 2,653
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elli-Beth View Post
T confronted me about hiding "the issue" from him. He was really really firm, like he was mad but he didn't want to scare me, because I scare easily and he knows it.

But I was still too scared to say a word and I had to friggin write again. Now its like 5 hours later and my words are still stuck. And it feels like is mad at me. And "the issue" is still there. And I have to try to appear "normal" at work tomorrow when I'm a mess.

I just want my safe happy goofy loving T back. He was the only safe part of my life. Now he's all firm and disappointed.
Elli-Beth - I can understand this. My therapist scared me in a similar way a couple of sessions ago. It's so hard when they trigger stuff. It was so hard to tell her at the next session that she scared me. I still don't think I conveyed to her how much she scared me. I wished I could hide too.

hang in there, Elli-Beth. Even though it's hard to believe right now, you're still safe with your therapist.
__________________
Happiness cannot be found
through great effort and willpower,
but is already present,
in open relaxation and letting go.

Don't strain yourself,
there is nothing to do or undo.
Whatever momentarily arises
in the body-mind
Has no real importance at all,
has little reality whatsoever.

Don't believe in the reality
of good and bad experiences;
they are today's ephemeral weather,
like rainbows in the sky.


~Venerable Lama Gendun Rinpoche~

  #18  
Old Oct 11, 2011, 07:38 AM
karebear1's Avatar
karebear1 karebear1 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,468
Why do you think he took such a firm stance Elli-Beth? Surely he must know how sensitive you are to the way he approaches you?
  #19  
Old Oct 11, 2011, 09:20 AM
Daisymay Daisymay is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jun 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 109
(((Elli-beth)))
I know the feeling.
  #20  
Old Oct 11, 2011, 09:58 AM
Elli-Beth's Avatar
Elli-Beth Elli-Beth is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Posts: 675
Quote:
Originally Posted by karebear1 View Post
Why do you think he took such a firm stance Elli-Beth? Surely he must know how sensitive you are to the way he approaches you?
I think he was mad. I hid what I'm going through from him and he found out from someone else. He said "I'd just asked you last week about x and you said it wasn't a problem"

I'm SO scared to go back! Logically I know he's there to help, but I feel like I'm in trouble all over again for something I didn't know how to control.
  #21  
Old Oct 11, 2011, 10:59 AM
karebear1's Avatar
karebear1 karebear1 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,468
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elli-Beth View Post
I think he was mad. I hid what I'm going through from him and he found out from someone else. He said "I'd just asked you last week about x and you said it wasn't a problem"

I'm SO scared to go back! Logically I know he's there to help, but I feel like I'm in trouble all over again for something I didn't know how to control.

So, was it a big problem for you last week? Maybe you didn't feel the need to discuss it because you were handling ok???

If it was a problem and you just admitted it to him, that's ok! You can discuss things when you are ready to discuss them- that's your choice Elli-Beth. I'll bet he wasn't so mad as he was disappointed that you didn't confide in him. He wants to help you- not hinder your progress.

Can you ask him tomorrow why he reacted the way he did?
  #22  
Old Oct 11, 2011, 03:09 PM
Elli-Beth's Avatar
Elli-Beth Elli-Beth is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Posts: 675
I'm pretty sure I'm not going to go tomorrow. I just don't want to deal with him right now.
Reply
Views: 1147

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:26 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.