[SoupDragon]

I have tried really hard with the whole therapy thing, I am 18 months down the line and I feel that I have shown a big commitment and given it a fair go.

I have been feeling worse and worse over the last couple of weeks and I am so sick of feeling like this. I have tried to do this without medication but right now the physical feelings I have are driving me insane - I just want them to stop.

I have gained a lot of insight into myself, so I can't say the therapy thing has been a complete waste of time, but I am wondering whether to just now go to the doctors get some medication and give the therapy a miss - maybe this is as good as it gets?

[stopdog]

Could you consider both? Perhaps meds with therapy rather than one or the other?

[beautiful.mess]

I was going to suggest both therapy and meds as well.

I did two separate rounds of medication many years ago that were really helpful to me. One was klonopin, which I took at night to help me sleep, but which reduced my PTSD symptoms overall. I took that for about two years, then slowly weaned myself off it. The other was some kind of SSRI anti-depressant (SSRI's work, as I understand it, to increase serotonin in the brain). I took that for about 9 months during my second round in therapy. It was actually tremendously helpful in not only improving how I felt, but in helping me make some progress in therapy that had eluded me.

I would encourage you to at least go for a consultation with a psychiatrist and learn what s/he has to say. Ask him/her what value the meds would have alone, and if you continued to stay in therapy.

Anne

I know that when I experienced a major depressive episode a number of years ago, I tried an SSRI. It wasn't the right one and the GP doctor who prescribed it went on vacation (forgot to let me know). So when I called her office to say I needed something else, there was no one there to help until she returned in three weeks. I ended up in the hospital. It took some different trial combinations of SSRI's, anti-anxiety, mood stablizers and a sleeping aid to get me to a place where I could again function. I think now that I might not have needed so many medication interventions or even the hospitalization if I'd been able to receive more medical interventions earlier on in the process. . . but who knows.

In any case, during the time I sought out medication, I was also going to therapy with an MSW therapist. But it wasn't helping. I liked my therapist, but I couldn't hear anything she said because I was so deep into the depths of despair. The failure of therapy had nothing to do with the skill of the therapist; it was all brain based at that point. I finally got on the right medications and therapy began to work--I could hold still long enough to process my thoughts and feelings without acting on them impulsively. I've been off the meds for over five years and haven't felt the need to go back on them . . . although I do miss the sleep aid (ambien) because I suffer from chronic insomnia, but I work hard to keep my sleep schedule as regular as possible.

I would suggest trying a combination of meds and therapy. Don't give up until you've exhausted every avenue!

[SoupDragon]

Thanks stopdog, beautiful mess and 3rdtimesthecharm - I guess with all three of you saying the same I have to acknowledge that this is probably good rational advice - I just can't get my head round doing therapy and being on medication, although I know the theory / research backs it.

I think I am concerned that the medication will change me then who will it be in the therapy room (btw do you think that concerned is a grown up word for scared?)

Thanks guys - Soup.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by Jaybird57

I would suggest trying a combination of meds and therapy. Don't give up until you've exhausted every avenue!

.

Thanks jaybird - sorry to hear that your initial experiences were not great - another vote for both though - think part of me is starting to listen.

[elliemay]

I think for every horror story that you hear about drugs, there is likely a story where medications have helped.

In my experience the start up on the SSRIs is quite harsh, but does level out. Prozac definitely helped to lift me out of year long depression.

Perhaps, however, my experience with meds has been different because my therapist is a psychiatrist. He's very familiar (obviously) with my case and we can monitor side effects because he sees me frequently.

I'd recommend both therapy and meds.

As far as the meds changing me? Well, no. In my opinion that is a myth propagated by fear, and goodness knows what all else.

[mcl6136]

I did therapy three times without drugs. I don't know that I would want to try another T...I'm dipping my toe in but in a very half hearted way....WITHOUT the drugs. I just find the therapy process to be so anguish producing at this point in my life, and like you, Soup, I did more than a year. I believe we had a "why pick the scab" thread going at one point, and that was me. I am committed to the therapy process in a sense, but found it stirred up things, and did it in such a way (absent of support) that I could just not tolerate again. If I've learned anything, I've learned that if what you're doing isn't working, then you really do need to try something different, and I applaud your willingness to go there!

[PTSDlovemycats]

Just becareful with the Klonpin. I know that it work really well but it is also highly addictive and the withdrawal from it is a *****. Talking from experience...

[venusss]

From what I read from you, SD, I know you are in a mindset where you would not expect miracle cure or magic pill. Don't know your background. Maybe you just need to take the edge of things and maybe meds may help here. I would not ditch therapy though, if it has been helpful.

I think I am concerned that the medication will change me then who will it be in the therapy room (btw do you think that concerned is a grown up word for scared?)

it is a valid concern, imho... just observe yourself and journal. Maybe have friends to keep eye on you...

[sunrise]

Soupdragon, is depression your main concern that you might seek medication for?

My clinical books say that if the depressed patient has been going to weekly psychotherapy for 12 weeks and hasn't shown at least some improvement, then medication should be ADDED. But therapy should continue. A number of studies have shown that for many people, psychotherapy + meds is more effective than meds alone. Getting rid of some of those negative symptoms with meds can help the psychotherapy be more effective.

Would you consider trying both psychotherapy and meds? Have you discussed adding meds with your therapist? He/she might have a good referral for you. (The family doc is not always the best choice.)

Another possibility is that this therapist is not going to be that helpful to you. So you could try meds and a new T. But maybe start the meds first before switching to a different T, just to give yourself a chance to experience therapy with your T while on meds. Might be very different!

Originally Posted by SouprDragon

I think I am concerned that the medication will change me then who will it be in the therapy room

If it seems like the meds are changing who you are, then you can always stop taking them.

Good luck.

[JustWannaDisappear]

I started therapy again last June after going back off of meds. I have to say meds alone haven't helped me, the combination of both has really helped.

I've always had to have a combination of therapy and medications. Without medications, the level of my depression is so severe that my thinking isn't clear. I was actually initially put on meds because it was clear that making progress in therapy was becoming increasingly difficult because of the severity of the depression. Medications lift enough of that depression that I am more able to think clearly and work through therapy more effectively.

I have never had any trouble feeling like meds changed who I am in any way other than to make me less depressed and anxious (which is a change I will take any day). Some people have trouble, especially initially, with some side effects such as drowsiness that may make them feel different, but that usually clears up once the body adjusts. If not, there are many different meds to try and they all work a little bit differently. Patients who have bipolar disorder will often complain about feeling "dull" because their meds work to prevent the manias and hypomanias that they, in a way, enjoy, yet those highs aren't particularly a healthy even though they may feel good.

[mcl6136]

The truth is, I've been scared to take medication. But my T could not prescribe it...though he tried to do so..saying the names, until I said (respectfully, I hope but one can't be sure)....I suppose that I would need to see an MD to do so?

Anyway, are the therapists who have the ability to prescribe generally more expensive to see as therapists?

I have been very intrigued with the idea of taking medication....never have. I have never been "diagnosed" as having depression, and my next question is: Would I need to take some kind of eval to do that?

Soupdragon,

Antidepressants aren't, in my experience, 'happy' pills. I don't think they change who you are, either. One possible side effect of the meds, for some, is that emotions can be dulled - this goes for all emotions. It's still possible to have good moods, to laugh, but maybe you won't get the 'highs' you're used to. If like me, your depression is severe, then this is a small price to pay for your lows being nowhere near as low.

You may have to try a few different ones before you find one that suits you, so be prepared for that, but the idea is that they will help you to function.

I'm told that depression may be down to chemical imbalances in the brain, for some people, so talk therapy alone may never be enough to elevate your mood - but meds alone, in my experience, don't do a whole lot either.

I agree with the majority of those who've responded here, that a combination of therapy and meds is probably the way to go.

I think it's worth a try - and like it's already been said, you can always stop taking them. Just remember that they don't tend to work straight away, and may make you feel slightly worse at first, so you may need to give each med a couple of months to get a clear indication of if they're helping you or not.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by sunrise

Soupdragon, is depression your main concern that you might seek medication for?

Would you consider trying both psychotherapy and meds? Have you discussed adding meds with your therapist? He/she might have a good referral for you. (The family doc is not always the best choice.)

Another possibility is that this therapist is not going to be that helpful to you. So you could try meds and a new T. But maybe start the meds first before switching to a different T, just to give yourself a chance to experience therapy with your T while on meds. Might be very different!

If it seems like the meds are changing who you are, then you can always stop taking them.

Good luck.

Although I have never seen a pdoc or any doc so have no diagnosis, yes I guess it is depression - really awful thoughts everyday, but now the anxiety / startling has got bad again.

No I haven't discussed meds with my T - if I am honest it is partly (mostly?) due to not wanting to offend my T and imply that he is not doing a good enough job - yes I know this is stupid irrational thinking, but that's why I see a T

Oh wow - switching T's! Yes maybe that is it, maybe my T isn't helping me - I never really considered that it could be better with a different one. But your suggestion of meds and my current T is a good one - it has taken me so long to get this far with T and it would be horrible starting over with another one.

Thanks for this - it is good for me to reflect on things and not assume that my current path is the best one for me.

Originally Posted by mcl6136

I have been very intrigued with the idea of taking medication....never have. I have never been "diagnosed" as having depression, and my next question is: Would I need to take some kind of eval to do that?

I'm assuming you're in the US (?!) and I'm not sure how things work over there, but here in the UK you can get antidepressants fairly easily from your GP.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

The truth is, I've been scared to take medication. But my T could not prescribe it...though he tried to do so..saying the names, until I said (respectfully, I hope but one can't be sure)....I suppose that I would need to see an MD to do so?

Anyway, are the therapists who have the ability to prescribe generally more expensive to see as therapists?

I have been very intrigued with the idea of taking medication....never have. I have never been "diagnosed" as having depression, and my next question is: Would I need to take some kind of eval to do that?

Do you mean an assessment with a pdoc?

[SoupDragon]

Thanks to all who have posted. Looks like I may need to really find a way of getting myself down to the doc's to explore medication.

[beautiful.mess]

Hey Soup, I just wanted to jump in again to elaborate on my earlier post.

For me (and I think I've explained this before) my anxiety/OCD and depression are like a dog; a dog that is constantly jumping all over me, barking at me, acting all hyper and won't leave me alone.

Taking meds makes the dog sit down next to me and behave. I'm keenly aware that it's still always there, but now, instead of it being a hindrance, I can function. Get out of bed, eat, shower, take care of my kids. You know, function. The dog sitting down doesn't make me "happy", the only thing that would make that happen is if animal control came over and took the dog away for good. LOL. But that's just not going to happen for me.

I'm currently on Lexapro and Wellbutrin (I was on Prozac several years ago, but this current combo works better for me). I'm also on Xanax as needed for the times when the dog decides it wants to get on my case again. This happens once in a while still, but not as often as before the Lex/Well. I'm VERY careful to only take it when I ABSOLUTELY need it: when I feel I want to crawl out of my skin or when the bottom falls out on me, because I don't want to get dependent/addicted to it. But man, it works. The dog not only sits down.....it leaves the frikkin' planet. But I digress...

Anyhoo. I was on meds for several years and just this summer decided to add therapy to the mix (opposite to those who started with t and added meds later). I do sometimes wonder if I should come off the meds for a while, so that t can see me in my "natural" state because while medicated, I find it very hard sometimes to have an authentic "reaction" to some situations. I can be kind of apathetic sometimes. But I don't mind because the constant breaking down/crying/OCD stuff/anxiety/not leaving the bed or house wasn't an option anymore. The alternative, for me, just isn't a viable way to live life.

While first starting meds, it is normal for your body to take a few weeks of adjusting.

Good luck, I hope things start to look up for you real soon.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

Anyway, are the therapists who have the ability to prescribe generally more expensive to see as therapists?

A practitioner who can prescribe meds and who is also trained in therapy will be more expensive than a therapist who does not have the training to prescribe.

[likewater]

My best results are always therapy and medicine both.

[quote=SoupDragon;2055625]No I haven't discussed meds with my T - if I am honest it is partly (mostly?) due to not wanting to offend my T and imply that he is not doing a good enough job - yes I know this is stupid irrational thinking, but that's why I see a T quote]

Wow, Soup, that's exactly how I thought (might I say I was quite irrational in my thinking at the time although I'm not saying that's the case for you). I really believed in my therapist when I was seeing her without medication; as a professional in the community, I KNEW she was well respected and skilled. She was THE therapist to refer to and to see if one was having difficulties. But I wasn't making progress and in fact, I was regressing. I was afraid to think or believe that I needed anything other than her expertise. Boy was I wrong and she finally recognized it but it was too late for me because by then I was hospitalized against my will. But it all worked out.

It wasn't until I got on the right medication AND saw her that I was really able to make progress emotionally. Unfortunately, she retired about six months after my meds got sorted out. It was a nightmare but at least I knew, deep inside, that none of my craziness over her retirement had anything to do with my lack of medication or her ability. I got through it and I recognize now that medication is an important piece of many's therapeutic journey . . . not everyone's and it isn't necessary in every case and it is definitely NOT the end all to be all for everyone. It is a useful tool in a tool kit that is vast. I sure hope you find what you need!

[DelusionsDaily]

Soupdragon, I have dealt with depression for more than half my life. It wasnt until I went to therapy AND got on the right med(s) that things began to turn around. Therapy has taught me much on coping skills for depression and is helping me deal with other issues I wasnt even there to work through. I have to say though that without the meds I would still be auffering greatly. I dont believe medication has changed who I am but has allow the real me to be seen. If that makes sense...