rupture?

I'm not sure what you all mean by "rupture", but I'm wondering if this is something like it. I don't want to go to T today, don't want to be open with him or trust him, and I don't want to look at him. It still hurts. I'm ready to just skip without explaining and leave him wondering, or text and make it clear I would rather go to get my teeth drilled today!

Well, if you read all the stuff on rupture and repair, then I guess a rupture would be anything that disrupts the therapeutic relationship.

If it is not attended to, it can disrupt the entire therapeutic process (in certain kinds of therapy modalities).

It is incumbent on the therapist to admit culpability and ensure the client's underlying fears or problems with the therapist are heard and adequately addressed within reason and within the therapeutic "frame".

Now, I don't know your therapist, or your relationship to him. I read your last thread, however, and I suspect that your therapist is not mad at you at all. Perhaps a little exacerbated because you chose not to tell him about something disruptive that was happening to you.

Maybe he was just wondering why you didn't tell him. Sometimes the things that *aren't* said are very important - not because of the actual issue or words at hand, but they are indicative of the trust and comfort with the relationship between you and your therapist.

Why *didn't* you tell him about what was going on. I mean, clearly you don't have to do anything that you don't want, or feel ready to do, but I can certainly see how that would be quite perplexing to a therapist.

If it were me, I would definitely go to therapy today. Tell him you would rather be at the dentist and that you miss goofy therapist.

It'll be okay, but it'll take a lot of courage. I gotta say though, you owe it to yourself and your desire to change to do what needs to be done.

I've experienced one rupture so far, and I can't tell you how painful it was. I cried for two days, tears of hurt. I felt so wounded. For those two days I never wanted to see him again. But I'm fully committed to this T and I refused to give up. In the next session, it was incredibly difficult to tell him what I experienced. I was shaking like a leaf, and barely able to talk. I've never been in that bad a shape before. He told me what I experienced was "a rupture in the therapeutic bond." After we talked about it I felt better, but still highly suspicious of him. But the upshot of all this was that I learned SO MUCH about myself. I over-reacted to a ridiculous degree, and I learned something (felt the emotion) about what I'm so afraid of. It was a real step forward, and everything with T was back to normal within two weeks. Some steps forward are so easy, and others are incredibly painful.

In real life, would you end a good romantic relationship, or a close friendship, because of a misunderstanding? We need to work these things out in RL, and I don't think the therapeutic relationship is any different. There are going to be bumps in the road, and our T's aren't perfect, as much as we want them to be.

Not sure if your experience is similar to mine, but I hope it works out. Good luck.