[OneRedRose]

This might just be a feeling ive developed due to issues with T atm but...I was thinking the other day, I have always been strong, only two of my friends had ever seen me cry, 1 time was because I was very very drunk at the time, and the other time was because id just broke my toe.

since seeing T ive had many break downs, I dont cry in public! but apparently now I do...I dont like this feeling of being weak....so my question...does therapy actually make us worse? does talking about our pain just bring it to the surface instead of heal it?

since seeing T im pretty sure im being diagnosed over time with mental health conditions that I just dont have!, its frustrating and makes me second guess my own mental health...I went in for depression and anxiety and im walking out with a handful of meds and calls of concern.

[skysblue]

I definitely felt worse at the beginning of therapy. All kinds of ***** broke loose. My emotions were all over the place and I felt like I was entering Crazyville. Those emotions which had been contained and buried for so long were being released and I didn't know how to handle them. So, yes, I was feeling like therapy was making me worse.

But it was only because I hadn't learned about myself intimately. I was hidden from myself. And as long as i remained hidden, I thought I was managing. Obviously I wasn't but I had a sense of control (wrongly assumed) that I didn't once I began therapy.

But now, months later I can see how valuable going through that period was. Although extremely uncomfortable and painful, it allowed me to work through some deep deep stuff. I could have run away and quit therapy but I wouldn't have gained what I have gained. It's tough, it's scary and it's very very hard but it's worth it if you can find the strength and courage to continue.

Nah, not for me. I think I'd hit such a low by the time I started therapy that the only way was up! But seriously, no, therapy is helping me a lot, I know it is. Feels like something constructive I'm doing in the otherwise directionless mess that is my life. My T is great, and I feel like she 'gets' me -- no one ever 'gets' me.

[stopdog]

I think therapy makes me worse. It islike i have all the stuff about why I went to a the t and on top of that, i have to deal withi the horribleness of the original situation and therapy too.
Plus when I practiced, i represented people harmed by ts -so I know it is very possible.

I definitely felt worse before I felt better.

The thing is, though, I wasn't really *in* my life when I started therapy. I was just trying to stay numb and constantly running away from thoughts, feelings, and memories. I was *okay*, but not well.

Opening up all of these feelings was REALLY HARD at first. I spent a few months in pretty bad shape. I never learned as a child how to deal with feelings, and I was kind of starting from scratch.

It's been SO slow, but I do feel so much more present in my life now, for the bad things and for the good things. It feels more authentic.

T compared therapy to chemo once when I was suffering at the beginning...I guess his point was that the thing that heals us can also make us sicker for a little while. I thought it was a horrible analogy at the time, but now, it feels kind of true.

I'm sorry it's so hard.

[Elana05]

Originally Posted by OneRedRose

This might just be a feeling ive developed due to issues with T atm but...I was thinking the other day, I have always been strong, only two of my friends had ever seen me cry, 1 time was because I was very very drunk at the time, and the other time was because id just broke my toe.

since seeing T ive had many break downs, I dont cry in public! but apparently now I do...I dont like this feeling of being weak....so my question...does therapy actually make us worse? does talking about our pain just bring it to the surface instead of heal it?

since seeing T im pretty sure im being diagnosed over time with mental health conditions that I just dont have!, its frustrating and makes me second guess my own mental health...I went in for depression and anxiety and im walking out with a handful of meds and calls of concern.

Hi OneRedRose,
I thought this at first but then I realized I had spent my whole life pushing these feelings down. And the reason I ended up going to therapy was because I simply couldn't keep them down anymore. So I didn't have a choice. But I know what you mean. I have often thought, "Geez, can't I go back to living how I was before, everything was fine and I didn't feel so emotional." But I have to be honest with myself. Even then I still had the odd day where I knew something wasn't right. All those years pushing feelings down took a toll. I can't deny that. I think the only way past it is "through." In the long run, accessing emotions and being able to cry makes us stronger. Sending many supportive thoughts your way. Hope you start to feel better.
Elana

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by OneRedRose

This might just be a feeling ive developed due to issues with T atm but...I was thinking the other day, I have always been strong, only two of my friends had ever seen me cry, 1 time was because I was very very drunk at the time, and the other time was because id just broke my toe.

since seeing T ive had many break downs, I dont cry in public! but apparently now I do...I dont like this feeling of being weak....so my question...does therapy actually make us worse? does talking about our pain just bring it to the surface instead of heal it?

Crying is one of the most healing things you can do. I certainly cry a lot more now I've had therapy.

But I figure humans are supposed to cry. If our society disapproves of crying, then it is society that is sick.

I do most of my crying at home or in the car. I did cry at work once, but I don't make much noise and no one seemed to notice.

If challenged, you can always say you'd rather not talk about it and you'll be OK in a minute.

My therapist once asked me, "Do you feel happier or sadder noiw you've had therapy?" I said, "Happier AND sadder." "Good answer!"

If you start from a place of numbness, then finding your emotions can seem a lot like becoming bipolar.

I think that there are bad therapists, who can make people worse or damage them through the course of so-called therapy.

I think that there are good therapists, who are a bad fit for people, who can make people worse.

I think that there are clients who play games in therapy and with their therapists, are not open to change, and refuse to be honest about their lives and their feelings, who make themselves worse during the course of therapy.

I think that there are clients who become worse in therapy because they are being honest about their lives and their feelings, who *feel* worse in the beginning because of the emotions/experiences/past that are made real by being articulated in therapy. This has happened to me many times, I now take it as part of therapy itself. Because therapy isn't linear (at least for me), feeling worse seems to just be the road towards feeling better. Over time, these feeling worse times became less frequent and the intensity of the negative feelings unleashed becomes reduced.

So, maybe your question should be whether therapy ever does NOT make us worse?

Usually only time will tell whether therapy is ultimately useful. The research suggests that therapy is, on average, healing to people. On the other hand, within that statistic are plenty of people who get worse.

Anne

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Plus when I practiced, i represented people harmed by ts -so I know it is very possible.

You helped people sue their Ts? What was that like?

[karebear1]

My T has always said to me from day one- "I'm afraid it's gonna get worse before it gets better." The scary thing??? I've been in T for 2 years now..... and it still feels like it did at the beginning>>> just a little bit better.