[Butterflies Are Free]

I cannot believe that my depression has struck again - it started on Friday and is still going strong. I finally called my doctor and he increased one of my medications. I am feeling very isolated right now and don't feel up to talking to friends on the phone. I called my T's answering machine last night just to hear her voice. I am trying to use all of the things in my "tool box" but it can be so hard sometimes. I don't think I would mind the severe fatigue if it wasn't followed by all of the crying... Trying to be happy for other people who are having a good time over this holiday weekend... Really missing my T... Hoping a few of you will post to let me know what you do to get you through the depression. Last night I danced in my basement for a while and then took a hot bath. I also wrote in my journal and watched a movie.
Thanks so much!

[rainbow8]

I am sorry you're feeling so bad, Butterflies. I hope the increase in meds helps you to feel better soon. I know you like to sing. Will that help you now? Sometimes I react to singing by crying but maybe you don't, or you have some happy songs to make you feel better.

I'm in a waiting period for my T now too. I didn't miss a session, but it seems like ages ago since I saw her. I'm reading a very long detective type novel, not what I usually read, but it's making the time go by and is a good distraction. Do you like to read? I find distraction works best for me.

Can you visualize your T and you together and "hear" what she is saying to comfort you? Sometimes that helps me. I read over the emails she's written me too.

When will you see your T next?

[kaliope]

Butterflies

Like Rainbow8 does, I distract, but first, I remind myself that the feeling is fleeting. I acknowledge that the depression is only part of a cycle and that it WILL go away, it ALWAYS does. I repeat this to myself as often as my mind recognizes the depression. "Its fleeting, its fleeting, its fleeting." This way I do not get caught up in the hopelessness thinking it is going to be this way forever.

Then i distract with things that do not take a lot of effort for my mind to process. Books that are a quick easy read. The rag magazines, tabloids. Go to the movies and watch comedies, rent them, lots of them. they are good for at least an hour and a half of time each. Rent/netflix entire seasons of a TV show and Have a marathon. this will definately distract you for days or more.

most of all, dont feel bad for not doing other things up to par. when y0u feel guilty, you are only adding to the depression. just do the best you can with what youve got. thats all you can do. hang in there.

[Butterflies Are Free]

Thanks rainbow8 and kaliope. I like the idea of reading - was able to read yesterday but not today because I was just too tired. I actually needed to go to the grocery store but can't seem to sit up/stand for more than half an hour without needing to lay down.
I also like the idea of reminding myself that the feeling is fleeting and will try to remind myself not to feel guilty.

[Wren_]

((((((((Butterflies))))))))))))

[Victom4ever]

[FourRedheads]

((buterflies)) I'm sorry you are feeling bad.

[Butterflies Are Free]

Thanks again to all - found out today that my thyroid medication had been filled last month for only 5MCG instead of 50MCG - that may have caused this round of fatigue and depression - am now back on the correct dosage and hopefully, will feel better soon!

[Hope-Full]

I am all for distraction, but when I'm this lost and desperate, I can't focus on reading I tend to watch TV and play mindless games on my iphone. I also try to nap as much as possible when I'm really down and missing my T.

Someone once suggested having a conversation with my T, where I respond to myself as if my T were responding to me. As strange as that sounds, it's actually really quite helpful. I'll ask myself "what do I want to hear my T say?" and then I'll respond as if I was T. Sometimes I write it out in my journal, sometimes it just stays in my mind. Either way, it helps me.

((((butterflies))) it's not easy moving through it, but you can do it! Especially now that you know the meds were playing a role in the process!

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Hope-Full

I am all for distraction, but when I'm this lost and desperate, I can't focus on reading I tend to watch TV and play mindless games on my iphone.

Mindlessness can be comforting. The internet is good for that.

Totally hear how you feel and i am so sorry its so hard.
My T has been gone on a family emergency for 3 months now and i miss her sooooo much! Depression can get so bad. I read obsessively these days to cope. Usually 3 books a week. Also go to bed early and take naps on weekends and listen to lots of uplifting music.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Mindlessness can be comforting. The internet is good for that.

as in...this forum???

[likewater]

Omg. That medication mistake is a big deal. Trying to stick to my routine helps me and being around friends if i can. Oh and my dog and cats. My dog is the least depressed animal on the planet. i would lend her to you if i could. Hugs to you Butterflies. I love to read too.
When i have a T i will call to hear voice on voicemail too as many times i want. Let them know i do it in case tjey see i called 100 times won' t worry.