Struggling with anxiety

Oct 22, 2011, 12:15 AM

This is a post just to vent so I can maybe get this out of my head and go to sleep.

Some very difficult sessions lately covering some very triggering topics has led me into a state of really having to deal again with PTSD symptoms: flashbacks and anxiety and severe depression mostly. My pdoc added a med for anxiety, but it is not a benzo (my request) so it will take some time to kick in (package insert says days to weeks

). He did give me something for more immediate relief, but it is so sedating that I can only take it at night. So, the anxiety issue has yet to really respond to meds.

Right this moment the anxiety is about an 8 on a scale of 10. We went to the football game tonight and I really thought all of the distraction would maybe kick out the anxiety, but I think it may have made things worse. Too much stimulation maybe. So here it is after midnight and I can't wind down to rest. Very frustrating.

I'd call my T, but there isn't a thing he can do about it. I'd call my pdoc but he'd probably tell me it's time to go to the hospital. This will pass; this will pass; this will pass. Mind over matter, right?

We lost the game by the way against a team ranked very high in the state. It was our first loss of the season, but boy was it a good game! The boys have nothing to be ashamed of. They'll probably end up in the play-offs even with this loss. Oh, and the band looks absolutely amazing. They've won everything in every contest so far this season. I suspect they'll win it all. Beauty in motion. (Sorry I just got sidetracked. I'm very passionate about our students.)

Anyway, thanks for reading. Maybe it's out of my system now? Wishful thinking probably.

BlessedRhiannon · Oct 22, 2011, 12:27 AM

I'm sorry you're struggling right now, and I hope posting helped a little. As my T always reminds me when my anxiety approaches 10...breathe, and keep breathing, slowly and deeply. It really does help if you just let yourself concentrate only on your breathing.

lastyearisblank · Oct 22, 2011, 01:19 AM

Hope it feels better soon and the rest comes eventually!

. I know this is kind of hokey but there are some online sleep tapes geared toward relaxation, and a couple of them are free. Don't know if that is something that might help getting to sleep.

Oct 22, 2011, 08:11 AM

Well, I did manage about 6 hours of sleep. Not optimal, but better than none. A lot of dreaming and nightmares though.

I'm not a sleep tape kind of gal. Those kinds of relaxation tapes and exercises actually freak me out, so I avoid them like the plague. Thanks for the suggestion though.

We'll see what today brings. Thanks again.

Perna · Oct 22, 2011, 09:55 AM

Glad you got some sleep, hope today isn't so stressful and tonight your sleeping tries to make up for last night. I didn't sleep well either; I suspect my new vitamin pill of having something in it that doesn't like me, left me feeling achy all night.

alwaysrejoice · Oct 22, 2011, 11:15 AM

My depression is lifting after some rounds of ECT, but my anxiety is out of control. I feel your pain. Hope you feel better. Maybe try to zone out on a movie?

Nelliecat · Oct 22, 2011, 11:23 AM

Hi Farmergirl, how are you feeling now? Better I hope. This is going to sound maybe a bit odd, but when I feel anxious a warm bath helps and I put my ears under the water so I can really hear my breathing, slowly, in and out. Told you it would sound odd! Hope your new meds kick in soon and good for you for feeling proud of your students, feeling proud makes you feel warm inside.

Nelliecat

BonnieJean · Oct 22, 2011, 04:12 PM

Farmgirl - sending you warm thoughts and wishes that you'll feel better soon.

Oct 22, 2011, 04:42 PM

Farmgirl, I hope your anxiety eases up soon. Can you maybe just try to do something with less stimulation to distract yourself. Try one thing in the moment. Like, just look out your window and label things that you see out the window and just breath. Another thing I learned recently is to close your eyes and imagine a conveyer belt. Put whatever is bothering you on the conveyer belt and if it comes back around, just put it back on again. try that for 5 minutes and breath..maybe it will calm you. May work, or may not work. In any event, I wish you peace soon.

Sannah · Oct 24, 2011, 09:43 AM

Hope you are doing okay.....

Oct 24, 2011, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sannah

Hope you are doing okay.....

I'm not okay. I'm the exact opposite of okay actually. I really should be in the hospital. It just isn't an option right now.

Sannah · Oct 24, 2011, 12:45 PM

mcl6136 · Oct 24, 2011, 12:49 PM

hope the anxious feelings are starting to flatten out. Mine are like waves. They sometimes feel as though they will crash on my head....Whew. I am keeping you in my thoughts. You're a bit of a beacon for me, you know...