[Elli-Beth]

I'm in the middle of a bad situation right now, but it's been going on for a while right now, and so a part of me feels like I should just accept chaos as the new normal.
Severe problems with eating, sleeping, nightmares, focusing at work, and speech because of what's happening.

T allows me to contact him "when things get bad" or "when it's needed", but the thing is that it always feels like that.

We normally meet 2x a week, and lately it's even been 3x. Monday is his day off and he gave me a time slot anyway.

I guess why I'm writing this is because I'm scared of over-doing it and making him sick of me. It's so hard to hang on, and when I contact him he says it's ok, but I still feel like a pest.

[nannypat]

Sorry this is a tough time for you ELLI-Beth.
T"s are responsible for maintaining there own boundries and if he tells you it's ok then you need to trust that it is and he will talk with you about it if it becomes a problem. That is his job. My T tried to get me to come in on her day off once and I said " no" for the same reasons you have stated. I almost ended up in the hospital because I needed that time to work something out and she knew it, but I was scared of being too needy. I was told that T's know how to take care of themselves and if they say it is ok you need to have faith in that. It is a hard lesson for me because I am always worried that T will get sick of me also but I am trying to learn that I don't have to take care of them.

[Nelliecat]

(((((Ellie-beth)))))

Nannypat said it all - easier said than done, but try not to worry. He wouldn't have offered if he didn't want to. I know what you mean though.

Sorry you're having a difficult time at the moment. Take care.

[laceylu]

Originally Posted by Elli-Beth

I'm in the middle of a bad situation right now, but it's been going on for a while right now, and so a part of me feels like I should just accept chaos as the new normal.
Severe problems with eating, sleeping, nightmares, focusing at work, and speech because of what's happening.

T allows me to contact him "when things get bad" or "when it's needed", but the thing is that it always feels like that.

We normally meet 2x a week, and lately it's even been 3x. Monday is his day off and he gave me a time slot anyway.

I guess why I'm writing this is because I'm scared of over-doing it and making him sick of me. It's so hard to hang on, and when I contact him he says it's ok, but I still feel like a pest.

It is really no different than a medical doctor trying to keep a patient out of the hospital by working the patient into his schedule for close monitoring. T should be responsible for his self not you. That is what my T told me when I was worried about her boundaries and her getting tired of me.

I would be scared of that too, but he seems ok with it so try not to worry.

[psychslove]

Hey Elli-beth! nannypat's right! Just trust T when he/she says it's okay.
Of course, i completely understand that it's not always 'okay' when a person says it is. And really, that's too nice of you to care. But after all, a T's job is to ensure your improvement in whatever you're going through at the moment. Just be thankful that your t's responsible. Don't worry much *hugs*

I'm going through the exact same thing: very difficult period of time and my therapist has told me to contact her when I feel badly. I juggle w/ this, too, but we talked and she told me that she would be "absolutely devastated" if I took my own life so she prefers that I contact her. Yesterday, for example, I knew that she was teaching from 10 to 6 (she also is a prof in a counseling psych program), so it was really hard for me to be OK with contacting her knowing that she was tied up all day. I did text her about 4pm and she texted me back and called as soon as she finished teaching - she wasn't mad and we were able to talk for about 10 minutes, which helped a lot. My tough time coincides with a deadline in 3 weeks (and it's been for the last 2.5 weeks that I've been allowed to contact her whenever), so it isn't forever and perhaps this is why she is being so available. But, if your T said to contact him and is willing to make extra appts, etc., please let whether or not he can handle this be his problem. It sounds like you've got a great T, which is fabulous. Let this one go... (says the one who wrestles with it all the time...).

[nicoleb2]

I'm having a similar issue with my t. Not with extra appointments, because they are impossible to get, but I am allowed to call or text my t when I need to if I am feeling like SI'ing and stuff. I contacted her a few times this week. I probably should have another time or two, but I always feel like I shouldn;t be bugging her when she's not at work.

T has repeatedly said to contact her whenever I need to. I think your t probably knows you well enough to know when you REALLY need help, and would not offer to provide that extra contact if he didn't want to or didn't think you need it.

[stopdog]

If your t offered, then trust him to mean it.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

Thanks to all who responded to this. I am facing the same issues but am not calling for help. Now I think I might.

[WikidPissah]

My T said he would tell me if I called too much. I don't call because I worry about THAT conversation...lol. Bottom line is we need to trust our T.

I met w/ my therapist for the first time since I wrote what's above and we talked about feeling guilty about her helping me (I have issues of trust, fear of abandonment and pushing people away because I can sometimes think that I'm "a bad person"). I said bluntly, "What I should say to myself is, 'She offered to do this, so it's her responsibility to talk to me about it if she's no longer OK w/ it or deal with her own feelings if she's not." She laughed and said--"Exactly!"

So bubsmiley--if your therapist has said that it's OK to contact him/her for help, then go for it!

[WePow]

It is sometimes needed to have that contact more often with T. You are healing right now. I would worry about this too and my mt T would tell me "It wont always be like this."
He was right.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

Didn't call but swear to myself that I will tomorrow if I still feelthis shaky

[learning1]

Where did Elli-beth go?