[granite1]

i know after a break it usually takes a bit for me to feel comfortable in T again even if it is only one session.anyway i went in yesterday wanting things to be different i showed up just in time .not to early so i didn't have time to sit and get all panicky.i decided i was bringing my T bag and hold my kitty during session it was so strange at first but T accepted it fine.she asked if it had a name i said no so she just called it kitty and asked to see its face and said it was cute. she asked about how we(me and the kitty) did with the power outage and if we had showed up for T last week.i said we were miserable and that i didn't show up and talked no more.than she just got up went to her shelf and said what are we going to play around with now i was happy but then she took out the dreaded magnetic words but then she grabbed her mat and sat on the floor with me i asked her what she wanted me to do with these and she said what ever i wanted.i didn't do much with them but T did they didn't have the words i liked . i did talk a little about stuff at work and let her know some stuff.she kind of had a strange reaction.she said they didn't really say that did they thats not the truth.it hurt and i just looked at her and said you think i would lie and am making this up that is really sad.she explained that he just thought it was so crazy that someone would say these things about me.but she treated it like it was no big deal and that i shouldn't take it on we talked some about this and played with the words.she kept it really light and i was able to talk.she did ask how my friend was and if i was talking to anyone but her.and i said no isn't that something.in response to her noticing i was talking to hershe started to laugh again and said she was being sarcastic and that i wasn't talking to her either in a fake frustrated voice and we both kind of laughed .in the end i wish that she had taken things a little more seriously but i think if she had maybe i wouldn't have talked as well as i did IDK.i am just trying to trust her more and it was nice to be back in that room.maybe ill write more later but it was a really light session and that was OK for me i guess

[karebear1]

It sounds to me like it was a really succesful session granite! You went in showing her a part of who you are. That is HUGE! What's more.... you were able to communicate with her and talk so well. I'm so impressed with you! Aren't you impressed with yourself? If not you should be. You were made yourself feel comfortable in her office and you were able to talk. I just think it's awesome.

I am wondering what the words were though that were on that board? Did you use it at all?

[granite1]

Originally Posted by karebear1

It sounds to me like it was a really succesful session granite! You went in showing her a part of who you are. That is HUGE! What's more.... you were able to communicate with her and talk so well. I'm so impressed with you! Aren't you impressed with yourself? If not you should be. You were made yourself feel comfortable in her office and you were able to talk. I just think it's awesome.

I am wondering what the words were though that were on that board? Did you use it at all?

she had hundreds of words spread all over the floor.i kind of had a hard time with them because right in front of be was brother and car(Read some about my brother in survivors of abuse) i didnt say anything about that to her but i put together our family cat,s are awsome.and talked about that but i did put together brother jumpped car but i dont think she saw that .i dont think i caould have talked about it if she did.i am proud that i was able to bring in my bag it only took me months to get up the courage to do it and she was ok with it

[karebear1]

Oh- so they were words you could make sentences with. I would LOVE that if my T had one of those! I still find it difficult to talk, but, like you, have started opening up some. I told my T that I needed to hear how she thought I was doing.... if I'm better than I was or worse... whatever. She actually started telling me! It' s been so nice to hear that I'm moving in the right direction because I can't really tell.

You'll be able to tell T when you're ready to granite. in the meantime.... just keep telling yourself it's ok to let it sit where it is and that it will come out when it's ok to come out.

I'm just so very, very proud of you!! (((((((Granite)))))))

[granite1]

Originally Posted by karebear1

Oh- so they were words you could make sentences with. I would LOVE that if my T had one of those! I still find it difficult to talk, but, like you, have started opening up some. I told my T that I needed to hear how she thought I was doing.... if I'm better than I was or worse... whatever. She actually started telling me! It' s been so nice to hear that I'm moving in the right direction because I can't really tell.

You'll be able to tell T when you're ready to granite. in the meantime.... just keep telling yourself it's ok to let it sit where it is and that it will come out when it's ok to come out.

I'm just so very, very proud of you!! (((((((Granite)))))))

this made me cry so much i dont know why it just seems like i have been so alone and miserable these last few weeks it was such a relief ti hear someone say that it is ok i so want to believe this so bad thank you

[rainbow8]

granite, it sounds to me like your session was very, very good!! I'm also proud of you!! You call it "light" but I don't think so. You talked, you connected to your T, you brought your kitty and talked about it, you told her you were miserable last week, and you laughed with her!!!!!

Those are all AMAZING accomplishments, granite!!!

AMAZING!! You are building a solid relationship with your T and starting to trust her. Don't underestimate "light" sessions.

[granite1]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

granite, it sounds to me like your session was very, very good!! I'm also proud of you!! You call it "light" but I don't think so. You talked, you connected to your T, you brought your kitty and talked about it, you told her you were miserable last week, and you laughed with her!!!!!

Those are all AMAZING accomplishments, granite!!!

AMAZING!! You are building a solid relationship with your T and starting to trust her. Don't underestimate "light" sessions.

i think that is just what i needed yesterday because things have been so hard for me lately but it still made me think of stuff like my brother but i didnt have to salk about it at all and that was good.
i really did feel connected to her for most of the session.i think i checked out once because she was waving her hand in front of me and snaping her finger but i cant remember what she was asking i think it was something about how can kitty help with the words like that and i guess i was just about strangling it i was holding it so hard.i wish i could always feel that safe .i love sitting on the floor.i hate the chair.i think it reminds me to much of when the mother would make me sit in a chair as her and the family would laugh and make fun of me if i was upset at anything.i dont know

[granite1]

and to just let you all know especially if my T happens to read this she is a word hog!!! she takes all the good words and uses them.

[Sannah]

I'm glad that you had a good session granite, good work!

[ECHOES]

granite, I really admire how you prepared yourself for your session, and took great care of you by not arriving too early, and taking something to comfort you. It sounds like a really nice session and I'm so happy for you!

[granite1]

i really didnt expect it to go well at all because i was so mad earlier at the whole power thing and missing T last week but it just felt good to be with her she even let me stay untill 5 of when she usually has me leave at 15 of.but i ended up seeing the other client.i kind of felt bad because i knew T wasn't going to get much of a break.it was strange i was for the most part calm.i mean i had a few bad moments but not so paralizing .i was able to laugh with her.one thing she said is that i dont let anyone ever see the real me and that could be a big problem at work as why my boss believes i would do the things these people say im doing.i dont ever want them to know me either and i told her this

[velcro003]

wow granite. this is IMMENSE progress. I am so happy and proud of you! I'm so glad it felt light to you. Maybe this is a technique T is using. She is realizing that being serious and waiting for you to talk about all these serious and personal things is too hard, so its a bit easier easing in the water toenail by toenail

Good for you!

[WikidPissah]

sounds really positive granite! Good for you!

[Nelliecat]

Granite, sounds like a good session to me. I'm sure that the sessions that we think are 'lighter' are just as important. Good for you

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by granite1

she had hundreds of words spread all over the floor.i kind of had a hard time with them because right in front of be was brother and car(Read some about my brother in survivors of abuse) i didnt say anything about that to her but i put together our family cat,s are awsome.and talked about that but i did put together brother jumpped car but i dont think she saw that .i dont think i caould have talked about it if she did.i am proud that i was able to bring in my bag it only took me months to get up the courage to do it and she was ok with it

Horray! I think you are doing really well.

Also, your T is a clever and persistent woman.