I don't want to work tomorrow

Tomorrow is therapy and I really don't want to do any work. I've been working on really crappy, yucky, disgusting CSA stuff and I just don't feel like going there again right before the holidays. I feel awful about myself and also for subjecting my T to such disgustingness. [I know that's probably not a word.]

I want to just give him the present I picked out for him and sit and chat. I want to know how he met his wife, what kind of dog he has, etc.

Also, I've nervous about giving him the present. I thought a lot about it and it is something that really makes me think of my relationship with him. [It's a little sculpture of a boy giving a girl a leg up onto a horse.] What if he hates it or rejects it?

Anyway, ever feel like you're entitled to a week off? Where you don't really WORK on anything?

I was nervous about giving my T her present, but it went well. I see T Wednesday and I plan to talk about something I'm close to working through on my own, but still need to process. But I plan to use humor to do it. T hasn't really seen my sense of humor, so I'd like her to know I actually have one!

I kinda feel like that myself for this upcoming week. I usually just tell my T that I'm feeling that way. We talk about why I'm feeling like I don't want to work on anything, and usually I find that I need reassurance from my T. Once my T reassures me and we talk about my feelings a little bit, I find that I'm willing to do some work. Sometimes, I still can't do any of the difficult work, and that's fine, we talk about something else, and just maintain a connection, and agree to pick these things up the next session.

yes, and my T is understanding & accepting of that. Maybe it's because I have 54736264 things to choose from as far as what to work on, but we usually get something done, it doesn't have to be the really rip-me-up stuff ALL the time.

Sometimes I need the chat about the weather type sessions. My T is okay with this and we tend do this every couple months. It's a nice way to keep up with the therapy routine but still take time off from the heavy stuff. Can you ask your T about having a light session?

I felt the SAME way this morning. I had such a bad week this last week, that I intended to have a light session today. Some how I ended up having the deepest session we've had so far. I walked out wondering what went wrong with my plans. I guess it was meant to be.

The session belongs to you. If you want to give yourself a break this week, that is your right. In fact, if that is what feels like the healthy thing to do, you need to do it.

Oh yes! Often I say, "I don't really have anything to talk about. I just want to be with you."

I can so relate. I'm feeling particularly lazy now. Last session took a lot out of me so this week I plan on fun and games and maybe T won't even notice that I'm not 'working'.

It's your time, your session. You bring into it whatever you want to. My T never pushes me to talk about something I don't want to.

The gift sounds lovely

Well, tomorrow is today and I had my session and we ended up doing some work. First, I gave him the present and he said he loved it. He thought it was about me helping HIM onto a horse because he said he thinks about how cool it would be if I taught him to ride (although he was careful to say it wasn't actually something we could do). I told him it was about him giving ME a leg up, assistance with getting back on the horse and getting on with my life. I said I was totally willing to give him a leg up anytime, but he won't let me. He said he was really touched, and the relationship is more reciprocal than I think it is.

Then we talked about how my mother said that the only reason people act like they like me is because they don't know me as well as she does. He assured me that wasn't true, and then we talked for a while about how crazy my family is.

So, it wasn't a completely work free session, but it was certainly lighter and easier than the last three or four.

skysblue - let us know how that works out, wouldja....

I would really like to know what he meant by that.

It sounds very productive and not too painful. Which is a good outcome for a work session.

(about the relationship being reciprocal) - my theory goes against the one proposed in When Harry Met Sally - I think men and women can indeed be friends. Or maybe it's a one woman rule - men can be friends with the hankster? I think we are women ahead of our time - these new kids know how to do it and many of them do it all the time. It's kinda french!

Sounds like a pretty good session, but I also wonder about the reciprocity he mentions. Sounds like what I'm confused about regarding my T. I'm glad it was lighter and easier for you than your past few sessions, though!

There have been times in the past when the one I see has gone for lighter appointments. Once she started off about my pets and when I asked what was going on, she indicated she thought there had been some difficult appointments and she thought it best to be lighter. I am not sure it ever helped because it seemed to get things off course and slow it all down and then the t has lost focus and I get frustrated.

My T asked if I wanted to talk about the last session (the one where I went all weird and asked him to sit next to me and not look at me while I talked, and then ended up squished against him whispering). I said I didn't really, I just felt really stupid. He then suggested we just focus on me not feeling stupid and try just feeling sorrow for myself. He said I have lots of compassion for others and almost none for me. Really? Ya think? So, stopdog, he really offered me the option of continuing where we left off, but I NEEDED some breathing room.

I'm not sure about the reciprocity comment either. I think that's why I posted it -- to see what other people thought. I do adore him, and I'm sure there's something really nice about sitting across from someone who adores you, even if they're talking about crappy, horrible stuff. Maybe that's it? I try not to talk about liking him very often, except to express my discomfort with it.

I am glad you know what you need and that the t has options.
I think the reciprocity comment is an acknowledgement he also gets benefits from the relationship.