[bluemountains]

I guess I will never get out of therapy. I had expressed with my t that I feel like I have not done any healing yet, and think I am getting worse, and she agreed with me. I know I have lots of stuff to work on, but I had hoped to make some progress instead of going the other direction. She wants to continue with weekly sessions until....I don't know, because I don't know when I will start improving. She requested weekly for at least another two weeks. I have to space my appointments out soon, because my sick time is dwindling away. I like and have confidence in the t, and she is slowly doing CBT with me, but my medications, cycling, and not sleeping are causing problems. This is so frustrating! I am still new to therapy, only a couple of months in, so I'm wondering if anyone has any feedback on their amount time that they began to feel results.
By the way, for those of you who saw any of my story on the "survivors" board, I was not brave enough today to deal with specifics of my current anger involving past abuse.
Thanks,
Bluemountains

[Aslan]

meat loaf had threapy everyday for years, be patient.

Oh bluemountains, I am so sorry that you weren't able to tell your T about the stuff you posted on the other forum. I know how hard it is though.

Just my personal experience, I was well into a recovery from my really profound depression within about four to five months of therapy. However, it was not until I was in therapy almost a year and a half that I finally started talking about the sexual abuse.

[bluemountains]

Oh bluemountains, I am so sorry that you weren't able to tell your T about the stuff you posted on the other forum. I know how hard it is though.

Thanks for the kind thoughts, My_kids_are_cool, hopefully I'll be able to open up soon.

My t also followed up with an email, which has never happened in the past unless I emailed first. It was a tough session. I had a feeling when I left today that she was hesitant to let me go. I really was okay but I couldn't make a promise she asked of me before I left. I know it must be frustrating for a t when she/he can't convince a client to give up a negative behavior.

bluemountains

[Chopin99]

It's taken me nine months to "trust" T about my stuff and I'm still not sure I trust her. It will take time. I'm sorry you are having difficulties bluemountain.

[SoupDragon]

Hi bluemountain - I am sure the difficult stuff will come out when it is ready to, I think sometimes it is enough of an achievement just to turn up at sessions, so be patient with yourself.

I am nearly 2 years into seeing my T and it has taken that long for me to build up any degree of trust. I still have daily difficulties but I think I may just be able to notice some improvement now - like I can still get floored really easily by things that happen to me, but I can pick myself up sooner than I could before and the overwhelming feelings pass more quickly.

I think over the years we build up our defences in response to negative events and those defences are what help us function in daily life - however in order to work through stuff with T we have to let the defences down and that can make us feel worse at least initially, as we are exposed without our familiar armour.

What I have learned is how ever awful I may be feeling, it does always pass and although in the past I have felt desperate to escape those feelings, now I am more able to sit with them and wait for them to calm again.

Soup

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by bluemountains

I guess I will never get out of therapy. I had expressed with my t that I feel like I have not done any healing yet, and think I am getting worse, and she agreed with me.

What did she actually say?

[Lauru]

Ummmmm, a few years?? Well at least with this T. With my previous T who was not very good, I spent 10 years with her give or take, and I never got better, just worse. My current one, a few years to really start to see improvement. But you have to understand I was really f*ed up.

[roads]

Originally Posted by bluemountains

I'm wondering if anyone has any feedback on their amount time that they began to feel results.

I checked my journals to be sure. For me, when I start work on something new, it's right at 20 wks before I feel any significant break thru.

If you tell your T about the sickdays problem, I bet she'll work with you on it.

I'm working with a new T &, tho I'm feeling that I can trust him, I have trouble bringing up sensitive subjects. I printed out a post I made on PC & just handed it to him at the start of last session. Worked for me.

Just FYI.

[stopdog]

I have been going to see a t for over a year and am decidedly worse with no better in sight. I can only hope it is how this is supposed to happen.

[bluemountains]

What did she actually say?

I commented that I feel I am getting worse, and she said, "You are getting worse."
I am having a tough time with little sleep and falling back into depression. I have a call in to doc to get meds adjusted.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by bluemountains

I commented that I feel I am getting worse, and she said, "You are getting worse."
I am having a tough time with little sleep and falling back into depression. I have a call in to doc to get meds adjusted.

She offered no hope, no advice, no sympathy, no regret? I would find that discouraging.

[confuseduk]

hi, sorry you are finding things difficult. Speaking for myself I think I have got worse since beginning therapy, maybe it's because we bring long hidden things to the surface, I dunno but I know I wasn't like this when I first started. I hope your T will help you through this difficult journey

[nicoleb2]

I have periods of time when I get worse, and others when I get a little better. It is certainly a rollercoaster ride.

My t has told me that she doesn't expect me to follow a line straight from depression to happiness, but that there will be bumps and detours in that road.

I really hope that your t can help you through your "bumps and detours" and that you can allow yourself to know their will be those bumps (yeah, I'm a hypocrite about this - I have a hard time as well).